Thanks for the replies

Thank you for your response! It is the first in all this time that I have received that seemed to reflect how I feel back. At times I feel no one has ever had so much heartache. I suffer so much that I can not imagine my torn heart ever feeling a stitch much less a true repair. I speak to my boys every night unless their Dad is upset with me for this reason or that and each time I call there is a little part of me that dies, become more angry and that all powerful God aweful feeling of helplessness. I hang up with a lump in my throat and afraid to breath for fear that I will cry to the point of insanity. I now have high blood pressure that is killing me and meds don't seem to want to work. I ask my doctor had he ever heard of when a some one loses someone that they soon die afterwards, because that is what I truely feel is the case. My heart is not with me but is with my ex and it is killing me. I am doing the things such as going to work each morning (even though I wish I could just sleep til I die) and am enroll back in college to start in the fall. I pray things will get better but somehow I just dont see that happening. My life sucks without my baby and I just hate living it without him beside me.

AHHHHH no
problem we love all of you
we will do anything for yall
welcome to the fourums anyway too
and hoping to meet you in the chat some day

Why Fear Im Here