[kipper55]

Everyone thinks I'm better. It's hard for me to say how depressed I am,
because of the backlash I get at home,and I feel like burden and bring ppl down,that I just waste their time with my feelings.
When I did express it, it was ok for awhile, then people didn't understand why I still felt the same. My family started complaining/joking about how I was crazy telling me to "get over""I'm not normal",I lost my friends..telling me "I'm a blackhole that sucks up everything""emo" etc....

I finally managed to mentioned something to the psych I have now who said "Well you should be doing better,I don't understand we went up on your meds.you function fairly well. I don't think it's your depression you're just bored" I don't mention i want to kill myself,or I feel like nothings real,or how I'm the cause of disasters,flashbacks and lots of other things.Even when I had the chance..no words came out.

I talked to a friend recently who said "depression really is only in people's minds; in your case, you could recover only when you let yourself do so,and it's not hard"
No one understands I give my all,I try to give my self positive talk and rise above it but joy disappears,things I love..and even new things I try..make me feel empty,the bright and good I recognize but don't feel. Like a funny joke,or music..they made me feel something..now all I do is cry when I see or hear them.

[nightbird]

(((((kipper))))))

so sorry you are suffering.

different things work for different people.

we are all not the same.

give your self time to articulate your feelings to the Dr., and when you do, my best guess is you will be heard.

meanwhile, try to be good to yourself, treat yourself well .... Sky had a wonderful thread about emergency/depression baskets and what we would put in them to please ourselves when things are tough ... nice things that can comfort us.

do you have anything you might put in such a basket that might comfort you in these depressing days?

peace and comfort,
nightbird

[kipper55]

thanks
for the basket my writing notebooks i guess..

[nowheretorun]

(((kipper))) it relly takes time.. the feelings you have are only telling you that there is still more to do... you have done a lot, and you can make it.... its depressing to think we wont, but i know we will, give it more time and effort as you're able to, but stay the course, follow the light, believe....