[bren]

I am sorry, but this used to be the best time of the year for me. I decorated my tree yesterday, and it is beautiful, but I am still really down.
Who wants to celebrate Christmas any way. It has lost its meaning anyway. BUY BUY BUY!

I am not feeling that therapy or my meds are doing its job. I just feel pretty hopeless right now. I have been in therepy forever, and I feel like I am spinning my wheels. I still have suicidal thoughts all the time...and I mean all the time. Right now I can talk myself out of acting on them, but that gets really tiresome. I still cry at the slightest little thing, sometimes for no reason.
O am soooooooooooooooo FRUSTRATED!!!!!

I HATE DEPRESSION!!! I HATE DEPRESSION!!! I HATE DEPRESSION!!! I HATE DEPRESSION!!! <font color="purple"> </font>

[Myzen]

Hi Bren,

Yes, depression doesn't let up for Christmas, we just have to work round it.

Ozzie's idea of celebrating in a different way sounds good. I've been trying to avoid Christmas for a few years, which has been no fun for my partner. This year I'm going to go along with it all, but mentally I'll be celebrating the winter solstice which occurs on December 21st. It is the time (at least where I am) when the days are shortest, and after that the days lengthen again.

I'm going to think of Christmas as a time of renewal, a time when old memories should be acknowledged and then put aside.

Keep going Bren, I did 7yrs hard labour and it has been a little better recently. Maybe things will get better for you. I hope so.

Good thoughts to you, Myzen

[shakes]

(((Bren)))
I agree with what everyone has been saying. I try to look at Christmas as being different for everyone. There is no perfect Christmas present or dinner and trying to reach perfection just puts uneeded burden and strain on you. Just do what feels right and what you can do. Do not overdo it and above all else have fun!!

Jessica