[Melpomene]

Telling someone you have depression is hard. But you bloody well expect them to remember.

And when they don't? It was hard enough the first time. Not doing it again. It's possible she just thought it was attention-seeking behaviour, but you'd still remember, wouldn't you? I did.

And now she's accusing me of 'keeping secrets' from her (Which she hates, even though I tell her practically everything), because I won't announce infront of everyone in the commonroom what my doctors appointment is for, and how she wont accept I can cry or feel crap with no reason. She keeps saying "You can tell me anything you know", even after I say "There's nothing to tell" or "There's nothing wrong", so I feel even more crap.

I dunno. She used be be my best friend, and then summer came along, and now we're back at school, it's different. It's like everything is about her:

YOU'VE got lots of work to do? What about me? *insert list here*

Oh, they should get a room *Her Ex is kissing his new GF* He's only doing it to annoy me, he keeps looking at me! He was walking behind me yesterday! I just wanted to run away!

You have a headache? must be coming out in sympathy for me!

Just a sample. I call her my friend, but for some reason I dread being around her now.

It could just be jealousy. All males who talk to her for 5 minutes fancy her, its like she has a universal pharamone. It also doesn't help she constantly flirts with the guy I like, who SHE dumped to go out with her CURRENT boyfriend, even though she knows I like him. And then pretends she doesn't know she's doing it. We tell her playing with a guys tie and putting your face near his is flirting, she does it loads anyway. Sits on his knee, ALWAYS has to sit next to him.

Thats another thing, there's never enough seats in the common room, you offer to shareyour chair with her (they're big chairs) and suddenly, you have no seat anymopre, because the one she spotted just before she hat down and told you to get has been taken. And she doesn't offer to share her chair, because she has homework to do, or she's eating, even though we share when we are doing the same!

And she takes FOREVER to get her stuff together after lessons and then she complains that there's only 5 minutes left of lunch or break when we finally get out, but she expects you to wait for her, even if you have some work you need to do because she "Won't take long".

And she says she doesnt have time to do her work because she has to do all the housework, yet I know she spends lots of time with her BF, NOT doing work.

And Helen is never single for long. She texted me to tell me her BF was acting weirdly, and all I can think about is how is thy split up she might end up with the guy I like again.

I know we all have things we don't like about our friends, but we love them anyway, but this is too much, and it's really interfereing with our relationship. And I can't talk to her about it, because then she'll get angry with me, and she seethes like anything. or DAYS she just makes these little comments, designed to make you feel bad and make her seem like a victim. She twists things as well, exaggerates things, all to make you seem and feel worse. Also, if she goes in a mood with me, I'll have no where to go. Everyone will stay with her, no one will come with me. Well, Maybe Rosie, her and Helen don't know each other brilliantly well cos Rosie's off so much.

I guess I'm a bit frustrated and just needed to vent.

[reddevil]

She doesn't sound like a great friend. In all honesty.. this relationship would seem like way too much bother to me, I think I'd just slowly let it die.

[Melpomene]

It's not that she's a bad friend, I just don't think she realises the impact of the constant complaining.

I used to be like that, complaining (About stupider things than hers, actually), but I made myself stop. Now I only complain occasionally. It's just that it's hard for her, But sometimes I can't help but thinking: You think you'd be used to it now, get over it.

I think I'm the bad friend

[nowheretorun]

be a good friend to yourself now melpo.. you are not bad.. think of yourself as a student.. a lesson in life has been presented for you.. you are having some difficulty with the math right now.. step away from the problem and examine it as objectively as you are able.. temporarily detaching ourselves from the rest of our emotions allows us to do some scientific study on ourselves..

be your own friend first.. see yourself as a beautiful growing project that is still being created.. take an active role in the creation and add the ingredients that give you the feelings of contentment and joy you desire.. those emotions can actually be turned on and off like a light switch.. use imagery to imagine a babies smile.. do you feel something warm there?

let yourself feel those feelings.. those are the good ones..

find friends who find ways of enjoying without harm... dont harm yourself, dont harm others... take good care of all parts of your life... build up ways to smile and laugh each day and take at least a minute for that each day, even if it is hard.. when we find ourselves in shadows sometimes we have to make our own light.. you can do it... sending hope ...