[jessica12]

I've been so depressed lately. I always told myself, dont hurt yourself, you know, there are better ways to cope ... then what do i do? i do it again. i thought i was over it, seems not i wish there was some escape. why do i hurt myself? i know its wrong, but why do i still do it? i dont want anyone to find out, im so ashamed about it. i dont even deserve help. why is this pain never ending? i just want to die so theres no pain

[nowheretorun]

hi jessica

you are so worth it.. there is an individual inside you trying to get out, to say she is here, to live with hope and promise... she's the girl you knew way back when, maybe before you have memories of her now... she still feels, sees, thinks, hurts, cries to be set free...

she can be free... she needs to accept herself as a loving being.. she comes to PC and offers love and hope to others even when she is low.. she is reaching out and others will respond to her... she can feel better and with a spirit of healing she can come fully into the open and share her gifts with all of us...

she is you...

[gimmeice]

((((((((((((( Jessica )))))))))))))))
I am sorry that you are hurting right now. Do you have any hobbies that maybe you can get involved in. For some reason when my depression flares up distracting myself seems to help to start to turn it around. As for hurting yourself, what is done is done now you get a fresh start to try better coping skills.

[turquoisesea]

I know exactly how you feel, I've been there.
Hurting yourself... I view it as a coping mechanism gone wrong. You feel so much emotional pain bottled up that it needs to explode, or something like that depending on the person. It was like that for me, I know some people also do it as punishment. You DO deserve help. I've felt like I wanted to die to stop the pain. I felt like that last week.
I just wanted it to go away, it hurts so much. I'm out of it just enough now, to realize I was wrong. Everything seems like it's gone. But there are just enough people I care about, even if many of them are far. There's just one thing I like doing. And though it might not feel like it... it DOESNT feel like I can get better... there's a chance I can. Then all the pain would be gone. And I dont have to die.
Don't lose hope jessica. I KNOW you probably don't want to believe it right now, but there's a way out.

If you want to talk about self hurting, please pm me if you don't feel comfortable on the boards. One thing that could help, if it's about pain, try using a rubber band (less lasting damage, but still pain) to help you try to stop. Every person's self hurting is different so I don't know if I could help, but... I HAVE been there, so there's NOTHING to be ashamed about... NOTHING.

Keep trying not to do it again... because it hurts so much to look back on it. Don't give up. You deserve help. Please pm me anytime, or post more.
Sometimes talking can ease the pain - only slighty, but anything helps.

loads of hugs