[scared&stressed]

Hello Everyone,

I am desperately seeking some advice and hope someone can help me. My husband of two years is majorly depressed and I am scared for his overall well-being as well as my own.

A brief bit of background info...I'm not going to get into too much because I don't want to take up too much of anyone's time. My husband "John" and I both work as paramedics. A year ago, John was the first responder on the scene of his brother's fatal car accident. This was his only sibling and they were very close. John is a very closed-up individual and never showed much emotion after "Joe's" death. He never received counseling and insisted he was "fine."

John is now an emotional wreck. At first I thought it was me and that he was having an affair or just wanted out of our marriage. He has been mean, cold, does not show affection and barely talks to me. Today when I threatened to move out, he cried. He later admitted that he doesn't know what his problem is. His major symptoms began shortly before the one-year anniversary of Joe's death.

I know he is depressed, possibly bipolar, and will not seek professional help. I am worried that he is going to hurt himself or simply self-destruct. There is much more to this story that I will share if anyone is interested.

Thank-you for reading this.

[darkrunner]

((((((((((((((scared&stressed))))))))))))))))))))

I'm sorry for everything you're going through. It sounds hard and scary.


Do you think your husband would go to his regular doctor - GP, or PCP? That might be a less intimidating place to start than going to see a therapist or psychiatrist. The GP could possibly recommend some futher treatment, or at least get him started on some medication like anti-depressants.
If you think he is a danger to himself or likely to hurt himself you could always call the police, which I'm sure you know, and you could have him 302'd (admitted involuntarily). He wouldn't be too happy about that, but if you are concerned for his safety you might have no other choice.

I wish I had some better advice for you.
Best wishes, and I will keep you in my prayers,
ktgirl

[OldSoul19]

Hello, your husband is still mourning and may be suffering some kind of dramatic stress, now I'm no expert but I think, if you haven't done so already, sit him down and be stern, tell him that you have noticed the changes in him and you can tell that he's not happy and needs help. Remind him of how things used to be, the good moments you 2 had together and tell him how you feel and how much you care about him and you're afraid for him. I hope this helps, good luck.

[gimmeice]

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I like the idea of seeing a gp, maybe he will be opened to it and I agree that if you think he is in immediate danger please seek help. Maybe you can try to talk to him about this issue and your concerns, there are a few things that he could probably be diagnosed with that would help explain to him why he is struggling so much. I am by no means trying to diagnose him but my main concern would be the depression and possible ptsd, these things should be treated by a professional.

[scared&stressed]

Thank-you all for your thoughts. I don't think he would really hurt himself, but I can't be positive. I don't have anything to 302 him on and I would not want to do that unless there was no other option as he is in the process of testing to be a police officer. He does not have a PCP to see. He has not been to a doctor since his pediatrician quit seeing him at the age of 21. He is a very healthy guy, so he hasn't bothered to find a new doctor. I am going to try to urge him to find a doctor. I had a long conversation with his mother tonight because I think she needs to know.