[myoasis89]

have you ever just felt really good and great and been on a feeling good streak...and then all of a sudden you're lost...you think back and say...did those people really care about me...you think...my parents are the only ones who have been there and did they ever really care. I have no aunts or uncles...brothers or sisters...I feel on my own all of the time...I look for comfort in friends....but they don't care at all either....I used to be soo optimistic...but the more knowledge I've gained...the more pessimistic I've become....I don't think anyone in my life has ever really cared for me....I just want to feel loved...and love someone in return....I feel like I have no meaning....I stick too much to my innocense and realise...my world is not the reality....my head goes to the clouds and when I come back down to earth....it's not a great place to be

[brephi]

Originally Posted by myoasis89

have you ever just felt really good and great and been on a feeling good streak...and then all of a sudden you're lost...you think back and say...did those people really care about me...you think...my parents are the only ones who have been there and did they ever really care. I have no aunts or uncles...brothers or sisters...I feel on my own all of the time...I look for comfort in friends....but they don't care at all either....I used to be soo optimistic...but the more knowledge I've gained...the more pessimistic I've become....I don't think anyone in my life has ever really cared for me....I just want to feel loved...and love someone in return....I feel like I have no meaning....I stick too much to my innocense and realise...my world is not the reality....my head goes to the clouds and when I come back down to earth....it's not a great place to be

Yes, people tell me that's how life is. One day you're feeling good. The next day it feels like "you've been hit in the head with a steel pipe." Sometimes when I think I'm really having a good day, I feel guilty because I think I don't deserve it. And true enough, something comes along and messes that day up. I have brothers and sisters. We were always sisters and brother, but never close. As we got older, we became closer. With that closeness came a multitude of sibling problems.

I didn't want to be, but always was a loner. I tried to reach out, but for some reason it didn't work. I was a middle child and always an independent person. Maybe that's the reason I felt alone and unloved. My mother always spent time with the needier children. I was not one of them. That's the way things worked out and I've had to live with that.

The people I thought were my friends have become distant. I don't know if it's my fault or theirs. I have been isolating myself from them because I have been having a lot of personal, medical and emotional issues. It's just easier being isolated than trying to talk to them about it. I think if I tried to talk to them about my situation, they would pull away from me talk about me behind my back. That's why I'm glad I can express my feelings In PC.

Let's keep in touch. We may be able to help each other get through this.

[myoasis89]

Originally Posted by brephi

Yes, people tell me that's how life is. One day you're feeling good. The next day it feels like "you've been hit in the head with a steel pipe." Sometimes when I think I'm really having a good day, I feel guilty because I think I don't deserve it. And true enough, something comes along and messes that day up. I have brothers and sisters. We were always sisters and brother, but never close. As we got older, we became closer. With that closeness came a multitude of sibling problems.

I didn't want to be, but always was a loner. I tried to reach out, but for some reason it didn't work. I was a middle child and always an independent person. Maybe that's the reason I felt alone and unloved. My mother always spent time with the needier children. I was not one of them. That's the way things worked out and I've had to live with that.

The people I thought were my friends have become distant. I don't know if it's my fault or theirs. I have been isolating myself from them because I have been having a lot of personal, medical and emotional issues. It's just easier being isolated than trying to talk to them about it. I think if I tried to talk to them about my situation, they would pull away from me talk about me behind my back. That's why I'm glad I can express my feelings In PC.

Let's keep in touch. We may be able to help each other get through this.

Thanks for the thoughtful responce...we should keep in touch. Pm me anytime you want to talk...I've been looking for people who felt the same way I did...to discuss our issues...I think we have the same problems...I was the youngest and tended to be more independent because i had no siblings to hang out with...because they were much older....I dunno it seems it has felt natural that I be on my own...but in someways this hurts me emotional...I guess I don't want to commit to taking care of people or having any responsibilities???...I dunno

[brephi]

Myoasis89, thanks for responding to my message. If it's Ok, I've sent a Friend Request to you. If you don't want to OK, I'll understand. I would like to keep in touch with you. There are things we have in common and maybe we can relate to each other. Thanks a Million.

[turquoisesea]

just wanted to say I've read, and have felt that way

sending hugs