[darkrunner]

When i get really depressed I start imagining my 'life' without me in it.
Does anyone else do this?

I go through the day and when it is time to take care of my kids, clean the house, be with my husband or family, etc........ I imagine what it would be like for them if I weren't there.

It really doesn't seem like it would make much of a difference if I weren't around. Maybe I know somewhere in my mind that this is not true, but it feels like I could slip away and it would hardly have an affect on anyone. My purpose is so small.....so insignificant.
It is so hard to hang on when there is only emptiness and meaninglessness.

[pegasus]

((((((( ktgirl )))))))

I'm sorry you are feeling like that. You would be missed very much, by us, your husband and especially your children.

Do something nice for yourself at least once a day, even if it is only half an hour. Go for a walk or listen to music or a warm bath with the door shut. Special time just for you.

[Puffyprue]

I believe that your family always need you...)
depression makes you feel this way
hope depression will go away from you

i agree with what peg and puffy said...
to answer ur question yeah i think about what life without me wood be like for everyone else
i think its got to do with the guilt thing of suicide
(can i say that)
if we picture them all happy and stuff it makes it easier for us all ...............
(didnt finish the sentence ..against pc guidelines to discuss)

((ktgirl))

the main point is as much as we think we dont make a difference and wont be missed
we wood be and we think we wont cos we dont want to be..

our minds play some pretty wicked tricks on us...

take care of u

[oneinleftfield]

Yeah, I've imagined this. I think it's pretty normal to think that way when you think about not being here. My therapist always reminds me of the statistics of suicide of a teenager when their parent commits it. I say like she'd be better off w/o me, but how can I really know that. I can't read her mind. I can't look into the future. I don't know what her life would be like if I wasn't here. How do I know what's best for her? What would she say to her friends about why her mom died? What would she tell grandkids?
This is just basically one example of how I'm talked out of destroying myself.
The opposite of destroy is to create. Create something today. Build a new friendship, improve the one you have, create fun and make plans to go to the drive-in or play yahtzee. Enroll in a class for fun only.
Take care of you,

[darkrunner]

((((((((((((Pegasus)))))))))))))
(((((((((((((Puffy))))))))))))))
((((((((((((Bunnies)))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((Oneinleftfield)))))))))))))))

You've all said things I needed to hear. Thank you.

It can be so frustrating to live only for other people...and hard to accept that is what my life is right now. But maybe it won't be forever, maybe it is temporary and things will get better. I can't say I believe it but I can try to cling to the hope that others have for me.
Thanks again for your support,

ktgirl

[oneinleftfield]

kt hugging you. sometimes it is about others. a part of you wants to be. I'm glad you received some support.
loving you, alex.

all we can do is keep tryin to get better..
stay strong kt

[darkrunner]

TY (((((((((((((Alex and Bunnies)))))))))))))))