[bebop]

this I think is my first post here.
It has taken me many months maybe even a yr to admit to myself I am really depressed. I have no idea what to do about it. I know people say meds but they have never helped me in the past. I can normally bring myself right back out of it but this time I can't. My first thought this morning was about suicide. No I am not suicidal just those thoughts kept hitting me. I have no desire to act on thoughts. I am not even sure why the heck I am writing here.

[Rhapsody]

Originally Posted by bebop

I am not even sure why the heck I am writing here.

((( hugs my friend )))

I am sorry that you are feeling depressed as I have been to the dark side of this awful emotions and it no friend to ones mind... positive thinking in life and knowing that things were happening just as they should be was what got me through the hard times - as I knew there would be a better day around the corner.

And on those days that a dark cloud of unhappiness and thoughts of death entered my mind... I made sure that I got out of the house and that I was around other people, even if they were just strangers in the mall or at the local park - any thing to keep me safe.

I am here for you and I am always available for talk.

[bebop]

rhap thank you so much hon. I wanted to get out today really bad but just couldn't. I hate being away from the house anymore. I normally do just what you suggested too.

[gimmeice]

((((((((((((( bebop ))))))))))))))))))))
I am sending you lots of hugs and warm thoughts.

[bebop]

thank you so much gimmie. I need them today.

[turquoisesea]

since you just accepted that you are depressed, and are having suicidal thoughts.. I wonder, what kind of treatment are you getting?
You mentioned meds not having worked before... what were the meds for?

Are you going to a therapist.
I hope you can do something because thoughts are one of the steps... thoughts lead to deeper thoughts lead to plans lead to action, and we don't want action

[darkrunner]

((((((((((((bebop)))))))))))))))

I know how you are feel. You are not alone.
Please believe me - you will not feel this way forever....but you need to get care for your depression.
Suicidal thoughts are awful and can get out of control really fast before you can even do anything about them.

With care,
ktgirl

[pegasus]

((((( bebop )))))

PM me if you want to talk anytime.

[bebop]

thanks everyone.

I have had small bouts of depression off and on for a number of years. always situational so meds never worked. this is also situational and I know it will go away one day. just too many things going on at this time. again thanks for responding and caring.

[bipolar_bear]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((bebop))))))))))))))))))))) I am sorry things are so overwhelming right now.

BB

[bebop]

bb thanks hon.. I hate the feeling but praying for it to go away soon!

[turquoisesea]

*hugs*
what happened? do you want to talk about it?

pm me anytime btw

[Rhapsody]

Bebop
Checking in today to see how you are doing.....

[bebop]

turq alot of things over the last few years. getting an injury that disabled me, deaths all around me, rough marriage. the list goes on. thanks hon.

rhap I am doing a little better today. still depressed but the thoughts have gone away! whew! yesterday was rough but I made it thru.

[turquoisesea]

*hugs* I'm glad the thoughts are gone
sorry it sounds like a rough past few years

[bebop]

thanks hon. yes it has been. I think the worst part is having to admit my severe limitations. I was a truck driver when I was injured so to go from go go go all the time to sit sit sit stinks! but I will survive. thanks again hon.

[EJ711]

Bee,

Has it been awhile since you tried medication? They have new kinds these days.

With my workload I rarely have time to get out of the house anymore.

Sometimes our sad memories and losses have a way of piling up on us.

EJ