I Need Help....I, I just don't know what's going on....

I Need Help....I, I just don't know what's going on....

Hey guys, I'll preface this post with a short bio. I'm currently a 20 year old male with a problem that I never thought I'd have...I don't think it's severe but I feel it's on its way there.

First off, I feel like I always have low energy, I don't know if this is biological or psychological (or both). I can't explain it but one thing I do know for sure is I hate it with a passion. I think the mental aspect severally limits the physical aspect of myself and causes me to constantly feel depressed.

With school for instance, I feel like it's not helping me in terms of achieving my goals, I'm sort of just sliding forward (albeit getting good grades) but I just feel like all the work I'm putting in is useless. I'm sort of a secular thinker in a way and I constantly hate the fact that I'm forced to learn things I know I'll never use in the future. It's the way I am with many things, and I'm sure that line of thinking may have its benefits somewhere else...but in this case it's terrible. I also feel like I never live up to my full potential, like I can do and say so much more during school and class, but I don't...and when I don't I feel like crap, which snowballs all the other problems I'm having.

Or it could just be with someone at my school that I like but can't find the courage to 'act' normal around. It's like some kind of evolutionary compulsion to act stiff and weird, which is unusual because that's not how I normally act (except, of course, in the above example of speaking up during class). In a way, I sort of wish I didn't have these feelings towards this person [that I like] because I feel it makes me awkward to the point of avoiding them (and from what it seems, it's like they're avoiding me because I do act differently around them, much more differently, could just be cognitive dissonance on my part but I don't know). I'm normally not shy and could speak up and have a conversation with anyone (or make a speech and not get nervous), but not around this person, it makes me look like such a tool.

And I'm not done, because there's like so many things I want to do in life...but feel I'm overwhelming myself, but then I get thoughts that it's simply my way of procrastinating. I know that I want to lose some weight/get in shape and do a bunch of other 'selfhelp-related' things, however I feel I keep making excuses and have a severe lack of energy that literally makes me angry. Like I said I always feel overwhelmed...

The sad part is I feel like I have all this potential and I'm constantly not living up to it. I also feel if I try to hard I'll get overly exhausted and get even more sluggish. I really don't know what to do, I mean do I just start small or do I just go cold-turkey and simply change everything at once? I'm just afraid of failing and going back to square one. And what I do about the person I really like at school, I don't necessary want to "ask them out", I just want to be friends with them and not act like such a awkward weirdo. The one thing I don't want is this attachment (in terms of attraction) to stick with this person, I want to simply see them as 'another person', because not only do I want to act normal but I also don't want to be in a position where I can't have something I really wanted, and thereby get extremely depressed. I hate having an attachment I have little to no control over, absolutely cant stand it.

And what can I do about the severe lack of energy I constantly have? It's embarrassing, it drives me crazy, I mean, where do I start? Perhaps some light jogging with my favorite music, I really don't know, I don't know where to begin, it really makes me feel like crap.

hi, brad, and welcome to pc!!!thanks for sharing with us about what's going on with you. the biggest thing i thought of is that perhaps you are trying fix everything at once and it's making you feel overwhelmed. i can relate to that cause i've done it before myself. you said, "I don't know where to begin, it really makes me feel like crap.' how about writing a list of things you would like to change or do? try not to list everything at first. just write down the things bothering you the most. then you can focus on these things first. this will help you not be so overwhelmed.
you didn't mention if you have a therapist but at least for me it helped to have a T to learn how to go about creating change. therapy gave me the tools to do this. you mentioned school so perhaps there's a counselor that can steer you in the right direction about your depression. perhpas even medication would help you too with your depression.
you mentioned being very depressed. that can cause severe exhaustion cause we're trying so hard to be "up" when really we're "down". it takes tremendous mental energy when we're so depressed.
the physical exercise thing is a good start. i'd recommend it. it won't fix everything but it will help you and also give your mind a rest from what's bothering you.
keep us posted on how you're doing. we care here at pc.

Hello Brad, it's nice to meet you. I agree that you may find therapy helpful and most schools offer the service free of charge, they might be able to help you make a plan of where to start and how to go about doing that in a healthy long lasting way, I agree that you sound overwhelmed by all of this. It is my experience that change is best made in small steps because you are more likely to stick with it, changing to much at once seems to burn me out and then I go right back to my old ways.

If you have any questions feel free to private message any community liaison or moderator, here is a list of forum leaders.
http://forums.psychcentral.com/showgroups.php

Thank you both for your advice, I am taking them very seriously