[littleyellowspider]

I started back at school today and just want to disappear. I feel so out of place here and so alone. I wonder why I can't be like everyone I know here who loves college and couldn't wait to come back.
I think I mentioned this in my introduction, my roommate is a cutter and talks about it constantly, she shows me her cuts and talks about how she did them. It's very triggering for me to be around her and I have cut several times since school started in August. I think it is not helpful for either of us if we live together, I have talked to the housing people but they said there is not enough room for anyone to move. I feel so sad and alone and I don't want to be here, I want to be happy but I don't know what to do. I feel so inferior to everyone here. I just want to sit in my room and cry. I hate myself so much. it's getting so frustrating.

[madisgram]

i am so sorry everything is not gong well for you.i don't know if this would work but why not see a school counselor about your roommate situation? under the circumstances i believe the counselor can intervene to help you get another rommate. it feels like to me this is a major issue that they are responsible for to fix for you.
also are you getting help for your cutting? a T or pdoc? there must be underlying causes and it's important for you to get help. we don't hate you so you need to learn to love yourself. i'm sure you are a likeable person.
i am glad you found pc. hopefully you can find friends, support, and answers to your questions. we care.

[lmg103]

I know exactlyy how you feel I'm sorta in the same situation just not the whole roommate thing. But with the feeling out of place and alone. Its killing me but I'm here with you I agree with madisgram and maybe you should talk to a school counselor so you can fix the situation. If you ever want someone to talk to about this you cna pm me. . Hugs

[littleyellowspider]

Thank for the reply, I have been seeing a therapist for a couple years, my college is in the same general area as where I live so I was able to keep seeing the same T when I started school, I started cutting when I was 15 and through therapy was able to decrease it a lot and before college started I hadn't done it in about 6 months. I feel like a failure because I started again I never looked in to finding a counselor at school because I see my T regularly but maybe it would be a good idea to have someone connected to the school I could talk to.