[sarahbarah]

why do we feel this way?? all i know is i am so confused. my mom has dealt with depression, my two older brothers, and then me. I took some psychology classes at college and the teachers all seem to think that there is no proof that there is a chemical deficiency.

then there are people like a psychiatrist that says it is like diabetes, i have to be on meds for the rest of my life! I am so sick of paying for my meds that never really worked in the first place.

Sometimes i feel really jypt because it seems like i was given 4 short months of happiness(first starting my meds) and then boom! i am back.... it just gets worse all the time. i am seeing a cousler, but what i am dealing with, she says that i have to find what God sees in me and turn the lie into truth. I am having the hardest time with that. I seriously don't know anymore. I have grown up believing in God, but now just going to counseling makes me feel so bad.

I am dealing with a lot of guilt, i don't know where it is coming from!! i guess i am so sick of this depression and that i see no hope anywhere. i am just so confused and frusterated with everything. I also feel like i can't remember anything anymore!!!!

[madisgram]

jme, but i'd talk with your pdoc about how you're feeling and that the meds do not seem to be right for you. tweaking meds or increasing doseages, usually results in success. i know it's frustrating and i went through this too. i know a lot of people have the same initial results as well. it just takes time and then hopefully the pdoc will find the right mix.
clearly the depression is real and it distorts our thinking. that is why you feel so confused. i hope you will tell your pdoc about what you are feeling and that you don't think your meds are working well for you. i had similar results when i first stated taking a med and then i'd feel like the med just stopped working. keep us posted here at pc cause we care about you.