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#1
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Yesterday morning I did a dumb thing... I texted my girlfriend, Shelby, "How do you see me... as just a friend... or actually a GF?"
I asked her because we never do anything that I imagine girlfriends would do (holding hands, kissing, etc)... and yesterday evening she texted me, "to answer your question... just a friend... is that ok?" I swear I must have sobbed uncontrollably for 2 straight hours after she told me. She was not only my girlfriend, but my best (and only) friend. And now I feel like I lost not only my first girlfriend, but I feel like I lost my best friend also, because I am afraid that from now on, everytime I see her I will think of what could have been and what I really want, but can never have... a relationship with her. Ugh... I feel like it is stupid to be so upset. After all, I asked her. I knew there was a possibility I may not like the answer. *cries* I would have been better off not asking her and having things stay the way they were. Us being good friends and me thinking that she liked me too. But technically, I don't know if we were really ever "girlfriends" in the first place, because like I said, we never kissed or anything. We have kissed like once since we... well since I thought we became girlfriends. Other than that, it was just a occasional peck on the lips. *sobs* I am so... hurt, angry, confused... ugh... I don't know what I am. I got very little if any sleep last night, because I was so upset. And when I did sleep, it was because I cried myself to sleep. Today, I am not feeling much better. I have yet to actually cry, but I feel like I could just collapse into a fetal position and start bawling my eyes at any moment. My heart aches because I am in so much emotional pain. ![]() |
#2
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(((((((((((( Manda )))))))))))))))
I am sorry that you didn't get the answer that you wanted but it is better to know where you stand, I am sorry that you are hurting. ![]() ![]() ![]() One day I am sure that you will find that special someone who is right for you, until then be patient with yourself this is probably more of an issue about her and not you, you are a good person. ![]() ![]() ![]()
__________________
![]() Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis visit my blog at http://gimmeice.psychcentral.net |
#3
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(((((((((((manda)))))))))))))
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As long as people aren't asking me if i'm all right, i am alright. |
#4
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It is very hard when we find out reality is different from what we have been imagining. Maybe you could talk more about this with her, face to face?
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#5
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![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
__________________
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser So thanks for making me a fighter |
#6
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((((manda))))
I am so sorry you feel heart break right now.... I am reminded of the marriage I had from hell, and I want to tell you this because in some very positive way, you are spared future heartache and any deception from this person you have this strong, loving feeling for. See, you are still intact emotionally to pursue the person who is right for you ~ without being devastated by the person here that you care so much about.. because she was honest, upfront and healthy enough to put the cards on the table, you are spared much... and will persevere. Hang in there, Dear Person, and take some moments here and there to dream about your future, and the love within it ~ Happy Days Ahead, Love Night xoxo ![]() |
#7
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***update***
My husband and I went out with Shelby and her boyfriend, Mike, last night and my husband talked to Mike and he said that he really misunderstood at first when Shelby mentioned about her and I being girlfriends. And that he was worried that if we got into a relationship, it would hinder his relationship with her. ![]() |
#8
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So your husband is ok with it though?
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#9
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With me being bi?
Yeah... he is completely fine with it. |
#10
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No, I meant with you and he still going out with her and her boyfriend as just friends, though he knows how much you're hurting over it. I'm sure it was hard for you to go out, but good job for doing it!!
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![]() Miracle1986
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