[deliquesce]

was at pdoc's yesterday, and i mentioned how the first thing i notice when my depression starts to get better is that everything seems brighter - like, physically, the colours seem more vivid and stuff - like i've been living in sepia all that time previously.

he looked at me like i was a bit nuts and told me about an episode of the powerpuff girls where the evil clown steals all the colour in the town.

anyway, what i took from the discussion is that colour-losing isn't something that typically happens with 'normal' depression? so just wondering if anyone else has experienced this? it's such a staple part of my experience of depression that i find it weird that it's not common.

[filifera]

You're not alone. One of the first things I've noticed lately when coming out of a depression is an enhanced sense of smell. And I find myself looking at the world around me and feeling quite pleased at what I see.

Enjoy the enhancements, and welcome them as a sign that the world really is brighter. I think some of these old sayings really do have a grain of truth.

[deliquesce]

thanks for replying & sharing, filifera .

i totally get you when you say 'feeling quite pleased at what i see'. when all the sensory enhancements start coming back, i like to take a walk, because everything outside seems so wonderful.

[kookoo2]

Hi - I don't know if the color-losing thing is "normal" or not, but you're not alone. I've had this my whole life. The bad times are grey, both in memories and real-time when I'm going through them. Hope this helps you somewhat.

[n2euphoria]

During times of my severe depression, and especially when I started to have panic attacks, my visual perception was effected also; the atmosphere’s lighting seemed to die down; everything seemed dimmer than previous times. This made the depression and panic attacks more uncomfortable, and more dreadful, as it seemed that everything around me was losing its vitality, while it seemed as if I was losing consciousness and fading into a dark oblivion; it also intensified the feeling of impending doom.

[justfloating]

i know exactly what you mean!!! when I'm depressed, it could be a bright, sunny day, flowers in bloom, sky blue and cloudless, all that good stuff... and I just don't notice. It's like the colours are there but I've lost my ability to appreciate them. As my meds and therapy have started kicking in, it's like I'm slowly gaining the colours back into my world, one by one. Not only that, but I'll notice other senses more fully too -- birds singing, the way everything smells fresh after a rain, the texture of the clothing I wear, the flavour gets more intense in the things I eat ... It's like everything gets muted somehow when I'm depressed. I've heard a lot of people describe depression as "walking through a fog", which I think is a fair description, myself. Dunno if it's "normal" or if there even IS a normal, since I think we all experience depression a little differently, but you're definitely not the only one.

[deliquesce]

thank you all so much for replying. it helps tremendously to know other people go through things similar.

[madisgram]

Originally Posted by deliquesce

thank you all so much for replying. it helps tremendously to know other people go through things similar.

hi deli, i couldn't help but reply...i watched a show on pbs where when they probed a certain part of the brain, (the patient was awake), the room get brighter for her. so this has been documented with a person who had severe depression. they had researched for several years until they thought they ahd identified the part of the brain that is affected by depression. sure enough when they probed that area she reported this difference. in her case they used that procedure where they implant a device that stimulates that part of the brain. it's a fairly new concept and procedure. my sister considered it cause she has severe, chronic depression. it allows the patient to not have to take meds.i know this sounds a little sci-fi but it is factual. i don't know if the docs were even expecting this result she reported. so you are right on about things being brighter when u are feeling better.

[FrayedEnds]

I experience the same thing! The lighting in general seems to be brighter, and colors more vivid. I never actually notice that it's dull when I'm depressed, just when it lifts and things perk back up I can see the difference.

[deliquesce]

wow madisgram - that is really interesting. do you remember what the program was at all? or the technique? i would love to read into it more (probably won't find the show in australia).

frayedends - you're right on with not noticing it when things are down. it's just when they pick up again, and you really notice the absence of vitality then.

i'm surprised my pdoc hadn't heard about this from his other clients, because typically he's seemed to have heard it all. it's very reassuring knowing others experience this though.

[Howie64]

The first summer of my depression (two years ago), this was exactly my experience. I enjoy gardening, and my flowers all looked faded to me. I thought they were dying and it just fed into that horrible feeling. As I came out of the depression (with drugs), I remember how bright and colorful things were. This last cycle down, that was one of the first things I noticed---the loss of color. I think this is why winter has been so hard this year. All the grey and the shadows and no bright spots to look at.

[brokenwhole]

Glad to hear somebody else has the same experience. When I'm depressed, I get this feeling as if there's a block of lead behind my eye-balls. It seems to affect my focus. The problem is that I have mild astigmatism in one eye, and sometimes THAT focus problem feels similar to the physical symptom of depression and can even trigger it.

Depression is such a weird disease. No one depression is like another, and none of us can be sure that it feels the same for anybody else. Does anybody else get a physical feeling in the head like it's made of metal or something?

Originally Posted by n2euphoria

During times of my severe depression, and especially when I started to have panic attacks, my visual perception was effected also; the atmosphere’s lighting seemed to die down; everything seemed dimmer than previous times. This made the depression and panic attacks more uncomfortable, and more dreadful, as it seemed that everything around me was losing its vitality, while it seemed as if I was losing consciousness and fading into a dark oblivion; it also intensified the feeling of impending doom.