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#1
Mar 15, 2009, 08:35 PM
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 i ache and i'm exhausted, i've been sleeping really poorly.  i'm overwhelmed and so lonely.  i feel disgusting.  i wish i were in the hospital again...  to escape, to feel safe and taken care of, to not have to worry about so much, to rest... what a stupid thing to want! i want to be dead.  i want to curl up tight and cry.  i feel so lazy, weak, immature, needy.   
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 I'm not into South Park, I just thought the generator made cute avis. |
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#2
Mar 15, 2009, 08:39 PM
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(((Tao)))
I am in the boat with ya
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 Taonuviel
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#3
Mar 15, 2009, 10:16 PM
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(((TAO))) so sorry u are feeling so down. we're here to help if you want to talk about it. sending you some big hugs...
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
| Taonuviel
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#4
Mar 15, 2009, 11:17 PM
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Quote:
That's not a stupid thing to want - to get taken care of, to feel safe, to rest. I hope you can get that without going to the hospital, that's the goal, I'm sorry you're hurting...
__________________
 Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. |
| shezbut, Taonuviel
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#5
Mar 16, 2009, 01:10 AM
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(((((tao)))))
wanting to feel safe and taken care of is completely valid. hope you're able to find some way to feel that way and i'm sorry you're going through such a tough time. I know how you feel, you're not alone.
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Rebecca "If you're going through hell -- keep going." - Winston Churchill It's better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection. - Elizabeth Gilbert Bring on the wonder, we got it all wrong, we pushed you down deep in our souls, so hang on. Bring on the wonder, bring on the song, I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long. - Susan Enan http://igetupagain.wordpress.com/ |
| Taonuviel
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#6
Mar 16, 2009, 01:13 AM
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go outside and just scream at the top of your lungs till you feel relief
or inside it helps
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| shezbut, Taonuviel
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#7
Mar 16, 2009, 04:45 AM
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I, too, hope you feel better soon.
Try and dream sometime this day... visualize someplace truly safe and comforting, and stay there awhile in your mind, and let your body rythms adjust to the pleasant state of being... remember, what we tell our bodies, it believes. So, go to a good place mentally, and feel it physically, and that should help jump-start your new, better day... well, it's one option anyway. Time to look in your tool-box for some good help-out. Peace and Support, Nightbird xoxo This looks like a serene place to think good thoughts, doesn't it.... xo 
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| shezbut, Taonuviel
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#8
Mar 16, 2009, 06:53 AM
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(((((((((((((((tao)))))))))))))
__________________
As long as people aren't asking me if i'm all right, i am alright. |
| Taonuviel
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#9
Mar 16, 2009, 09:57 AM
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(((((((((((tao)))))))))))))) hoping your day gets easier
__________________
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser So thanks for making me a fighter |
| shezbut, Taonuviel
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#10
Mar 16, 2009, 01:00 PM
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i wish i could scream, but people would hear.
that's such a lovely place nightbird... so... i guess i'm semi-passively suicidal now, with my restrictive eating. i'm hoping it'll give me a heart attack...  this isn't what i started it for... but... i hope it will. i feel so confused. it's beautiful outside, and i have things i'd like to do in life. but i don't want to live on this way... i'm so tired. i feel like i'm looking at a picture of the world i can never experience, as much as i'd love to. out the window it's beautiful... and heartbreaking. 
__________________
I'm not into South Park, I just thought the generator made cute avis. |
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#11
Mar 16, 2009, 02:39 PM
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scream!
so people will hear. If they actually ask what it was about, tell them someone on the phone made you mad. Get the frustration, anger, whatever emotions you are feeling OUT. sending hugs...
__________________
Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. |
| Taonuviel, Tumnus
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#12
Mar 16, 2009, 06:26 PM
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(((((((((((((((( Tao ))))))))))))))))
 
__________________
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| Taonuviel
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#13
Mar 16, 2009, 06:55 PM
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someone would call the police if they heard me screaming...
__________________
I'm not into South Park, I just thought the generator made cute avis. |
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#14
Mar 23, 2009, 07:42 PM
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Keep talking.............
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| Taonuviel
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#15
Mar 23, 2009, 08:51 PM
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Quote:
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| Taonuviel
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#16
Mar 23, 2009, 08:57 PM
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Tao,
How about some walking outside? You said it's beautiful...go for it! Generate some hope for yourself, my friend.
__________________
 notz |
| shezbut, Taonuviel
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#17
Mar 24, 2009, 12:41 AM
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((( Tao))) is there one happy place in the back of your mind that you can go to? I made the point of actually going where I wanted a happy memory to be and made it. it still gives me great relief when stress just get overwhelming .. I simply remember the day I went surfing and the water was crystal clear and to top it of a dolphin was actually there . which I hadn't planned on so that was a bonus . If you want just grab a board and sit out in the ocean and be at peace with the world
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| shezbut, Taonuviel
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#18
Mar 24, 2009, 02:07 AM
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(((((Tao)))))
You do deserve respect, love, and attention. Very best wishes to you! Shez |
| Taonuviel
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#19
Mar 24, 2009, 09:57 AM
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Days vary so much. I haven't been as low lately, just constantly confusing myself between what to believe.
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I'm not into South Park, I just thought the generator made cute avis. |
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#20
Mar 24, 2009, 10:13 AM
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'I gave Hope to the Dúnedain, I have kept no hope for myself.'
Tao can keep hope for herself! This is what you can do. 
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notz |
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#21
Mar 24, 2009, 06:36 PM
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the harder the struggle the greater the reward
we all must believe in the future - it might be hard but someone has to do it
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| Taonuviel
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#22
Mar 24, 2009, 06:42 PM
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Ugh.
I feel overwhelmed, and so tired and sick. I can't believe... Need to try to be in the moment and not think about impending doom. (I can be so melodramatic...) But I feel crappy so the moment's no good, either.
__________________
I'm not into South Park, I just thought the generator made cute avis. |
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#23
Mar 24, 2009, 09:18 PM
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ok so we shall sit here and feel crappy together
lets see who will join us
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| Taonuviel
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