[leacon]

My life now has been reduced to seeing my T once a week and the rest of the time on my laptop and watching TV. My biggest problem is depression (diagnosed as major depression) complicated by my left foot being impaired due to nerve damage from a blood clot. I realize this is not a valid reason for not going out, but depression seems to be an anchor around my neck.

I retired from work due to my depression becoming suicide and self injury related due to a major conflict with my branch chief. He wanted me out of his branch no matter what. I had worked there for 23 years and had been a team chief and changed my profession to align myself better with the agency. Recently I tried tax preparation with a group that wanted to overcharge people. (When someone comes in barely making enough to pay their bills and they are charged 100 to 300 dollars, it seems wrong to me.) This turned out to be hard for me to ignore. Since then, I feel as if I am stuck in molasses. I want to change, but I am finding it hard to pick myself up again and do what I need to do.

[trevorzero]

Well, I'm glad you quit the job with the tax prep gougers. You still have your soul. I hope you won't dwell too much on the career job that you once had because it ended so painfully. What's over is over and you should just let it fade away into oblivion.

[gimmeice]

(((((((((((( leacon ))))))))))))))

Have you talked to your T about how you feel? Maybe you could work with your T to start to take small baby steps toward change, that strategy has really helped me.

[leacon]

Thanks for the input. In some fashion my therapist and myself talk about this weekly. I am beginning to wonder if my meds need adjusting. Just understanding the need to do more is not getting me moving. Next week I will be seeing my psychiatrist and I will bring this up.

[froggie2]

I am exactly the same. I left work at 23 years also and living through the same things except no nerve damage. Its one day at a time and they seem to be long days. Hang in there though something and somehow things have to change. i try to keep busy but most of the time it is so hopeless and then I get a good day and I am off and running again.