[lalala92]

they know nothing. im sure they've noticed over the last few months. But they haven't said anything. I don't eat. I'm never happy. My grades in school have been falling dramatically. I can bounce from moods of extremely happy to wanting to die. I burn myself almost every day. Many. many times. I just.. I don't know. My best friend can't even stand to hear about my problems anymore, they just bring her down. She says that I need help, or else she can't continue dealing with me. No one wants to try. I just need some advice on how to tell my parents. I know that that is the only way that i'll get any better, if I tell my parents and then see a professional. I don't talk to my parents about this type of stuff, so I just need some help on how to break it all to them. thank you..

[Puffyprue]

[justfloating]

First of all, hugs:
I'm sorry to hear things are so rough for you right now.

I had a similar problem with talking to my parents about my depression. I wanted to see a doctor for a long time, and I wasn't going to say anything to my family until I got a diagnosis. But for some reason one day I just blurted out to my mom that I thought I might be depressed -- I was absolutely horrified, afraid that she'd say I was being weak or silly (which in retrospect, I doubt she'd ever really do, but I have a way of blowing things way out of proportion...). After I got my diagnosis, I decided not to tell my dad because he's not very big on mental health -- he just doesn't understand it very well.

The thing is ... there's no hiding this from the people closest to you. It's possible for a while, I suppose, but if you think that your parents have noticed something is wrong or different with you, then you're probably right. The bottom line is that you need help, and although it's scary, think of how much better things will be once you've gotten it! Depression is highly treatable, and you deserve to be happy and do what you need to in order to be well again. If you're afraid that your parents won't support you in needing help, then what about talking to someone else first? What about at school? Talking to a counsellor might be a good first step; I was seeing my counsellor for three months before I finally told my dad about my depression, and she coached me in how to go about doing it and gave me the confidence to tell him. The only advice I can give on telling is ... just do it. Obviously it sounds easier than it is, but the best thing is to tell your parents that you want to talk to them, take a deep breath, and go for it. It might help if you make a written plan of what you're going to say, or run it by a friend or counsellor first.

The last thing is that I'm sorry your friend is having a hard time dealing with your problems, but it's all the more reason to find a way to get help. Try not to be too hard on her; she's not a professional, so while I'm sure she cares about you and wants you to be well, she also probably has no idea what to do with the things you're telling her.

Good luck!

[DarkHollywood]

When I first went on Prozac for concurrent depression in college, I knew I had to eventually tell my parents. It ended up being bipolar disorder, but that's down the road. I basically just sat down and wrote a letter. I poured out how I felt in a letter and then sat my parents down and read it to them. That way I could take the time to edit what I was going to say and also make sure I included everything and anything I had on my mind. I also asked my doc if it was ok if my Dad or Mom came with me to one of my appointments so they could talk to him about my disorder/problem and ask any questions they had or if there was anything they could do to help me. That would be the big second step after pouring everything out.

Now I'm not saying it's easy. It's much easier said than done. However, I think that's the most organized and simplest way to start a conversation with your parents about your feelings about life. You can also include your friend if you feel that would help her understand what you are going through. I wish you all the best and I hope you get through this first step so that you can get the treatment you need. Good luck!

[madisgram]

welcome to pc, lala! glad u found us. there have been some really good replies to your question. knowing your parents love you and want you to be ok is a good start. they will understand when you tell them. they will want you to get help. i'ts not like you caused this. thank goodness you are willing to get help. that's a huge step towards getting better. i like the suggestion of writing the letter to your parents. it may make it easier to start the conversation with them.
i know it may hurt that your friend is setting boundaries but also she has given you a good suggestioon...to get professional help. she may realize she cannot help you in the way that you need right now. she cared enough to tell you what she thought would help you.
hope you will keep us posted on how things go with your parents. we care about you and are here for you. you matter to us. many of us have faced the same challenges and getting help for me was the best thing i ever did for myself. my life is so much better and i don't have the depression i once had. i hope the same will happen to you. hang in there.

[lalala92]

i really like the idea of writing a letter.. im just worried that i'll do it, then leave it somewhere for them to find it. i know that i should be there, or read it to them. but im just not sure im strong enough for that.

[manekineko]

I really like the idea of writing a letter too (or maybe if they're Internet savvy you can try an email). I don't think it's really necessary for you to be there to read it to them if you're not comfortable doing that. As long as they find out through your letter what's really going on, that should be a great start. You should expect them to have follow up questions for you which they may want to ask you to your face. Or, if you want to avoid that, maybe ask them to respond to your letter with their own letter.

[lalala92]

okay. thanks guys. im going to write them a letter. i'll keep you posted on how it turns out.

[manekineko]

Good luck! I'm looking forward to hearing how it went!