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#1
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Its been a bad day. I told my therapist last night that maybe I'm just lazy. She didn't disagree. But this morning I realize I haven't always been lazy or have an attack of donothingism. I used to keep the house clean. I used to work in the yard. I had the same job for nine years and my customers loved me. I used to make good meals everyday. I painted rooms. I cleaned our cars. But almost 6 years ago I felt like I broke into a million pieces. It started out like an ordinary day but at the end I was being taken to the hospital in an ambulance. since then I just can't seem to get myself put back together right. I think some pieces got lost. Now more often than not I am afflicted with donothingism. I pace the house looking at all the things that I need to do but I just CAN'T do them. Something is telling me that if you can't do it right then don't do it at all. I'm good at nothing so I don't do much.
I don't know why I am rambling on here. so sorry to bother you all. I think if I could get off of all my meds that I would be a better person. I would feel better.? ![]() Thanks for reading my ramblings. Take Care. |
![]() Rohag
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#2
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__________________
realtight67@rocketmail.com |
![]() lindee
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#3
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Donothingism is a sure sign of depression not laziness. Also, you are not the only person who is this way I am also. (I have so many things to do around my place). What to do? DO NOT put yourself down for this. My therapist keeps on telling me to make a schedule. Rather plan on doing something small to begin with and try to build from there. Keep on trying and I hope you (we) will eventually make it.
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![]() lindee
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#4
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Donothingism... I like that term. It's so perfect.
If it helps, you're not the only one who feels like that. I'm a student, and I've had to get my counsellor to inform all my academic departments that my donothingism is due to medical causes and as such I might not always attend class (they're SO strict about that at my school...) On my "nothing" days, I will lie in bed and think about all the places I should be and all the things I should be doing, and it just makes me feel defeated before I even put my feet on the floor. The donothingism or laziness is definitely caused by my depression though, which I only started to recognize when the meds kicked in and started giving me days when I COULD get things accomplished. Eventually, I've come to realize which difficulties are related to my depression, and which aren't, and the distinction makes the depression a lot more manageable. Maybe you could do the same? If you can start believing that it's the depression giving you this donothingism instead of just being lazy, it might put your illness into perspective and give you some fresh ideas on how to fight it. Sending lots of hugs. Be good to yourself, I know it's hard. ![]()
__________________
Rebecca "If you're going through hell -- keep going." - Winston Churchill It's better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection. - Elizabeth Gilbert Bring on the wonder, we got it all wrong, we pushed you down deep in our souls, so hang on. Bring on the wonder, bring on the song, I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long. - Susan Enan http://igetupagain.wordpress.com/ |
![]() lindee
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#5
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Sometimes I feel like if I went off my meds I'd be different, too. Maybe for the better. Maybe I wouldn't be so "lazy". Maybe I'd get back into my old hobbies again or look into getting off of disability and getting a job. Who knows? I just get tired of feeling this way, too.
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![]() lindee
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#6
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Thanks everyone.
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#7
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![]() lindee
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#8
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I am oh so well acquainted with the depression vs. "lazy me" dilemma. I find myself questioning what's the disorder and what's my character all the time. You wrote what I quite frequently feel. Which, of course, makes me feel worse and condemn myself. Thank you for sharing! I'll cut myself some slack . . . you do the same!!!
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![]() lindee
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#9
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I think alot of people have this and they aren't all having MH problems.
I've walked around a thing on the floor cos I just don't seem to have the will or energy to pickup. It made me mad at my self but then the next day I just did the same! Finally I bought myself a diary and I put down 2-3 things I want to do for that day. Can be stay in bed until 1pm or read a book for 3 hours, or take one of my dogs for a walk.....then I added some things that needed doing around the house such as wash the floor, or get rid of the spider webs as I can see them. Somedays all get ticked, others it just might be one, so anything I didn't get to do, I added it to my list for the day after tomorrow. I more I ticked the better I felt and I also didn't have to remember to do it(sometimes my memory is out the window) The stuff I didn't do, I question myself Why not! Sometimes it was because of pain and I could not walk the dog etc. So I simply put that to another day. No Shame! etc just made me realise WHY! instead of me getting on my own back about being lazy. It helped me. |
![]() lindee
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