[Elysium]

Oy!!

I have been having such an internally peaceful day...it's been a beautiful Spring day here, all the dogwood trees are in bloom.

So I sat down to watch TV, not realizing what was on the channel and it was The Soprano's. I have never watched this show....and I don't think I ever will again. It showed very explicit scenes of someone being murdered and this lead character is like a sociopath or something....no empathy, cold...no feelings.

So after watching for a couple minutes....I started feeling really depressed and scared. I figured "way to go", I've gone and triggered myself with TV violence. I text my friends because I know they are all home tonight...all I want is someone to come over and play cards with me, or go get some dessert with me, and if I just text them about random stuff they respond immediately but if I text them about going out with me or getting together, it seems like they are avoiding answering me...they are not texting me back.

I know it's not all about me...but I really just want to be close to someone right now that can help me put a smile back on my face. I'm having a hard time doing that for myself right now.

Anyway...maybe they're not really avoiding me and I'm just being to sensative....

[Hunny]

Take good care,

IS

[justfloating]

Depending on what time it was when you texted your friends, they might not have been able to text you back just then. Would it help to call one of them up just to chat? Maybe they don't want to come over or go out because they are busy with other things -- everyone's lives are hectic -- but they might be willing to chat for a while over the phone when you're feeling low in order to help cheer you up.

If you can't do that, you can feel free to post on PC whenever you like and there is a whole community of people who would be happy to help you out. You can feel free to PM me if you like, as well.

Take care.

[miray]

Rebecca is right ely...it may just be bad timing for them. Try going for a walk or maybe watching a comedy. Also posting on here definitely helps me!! Hope you feel better

[Elysium]

Thanks everyone...

I wish I could say that I felt better about it today...but it's happening again!! My friend only gets certain days off during the week and I don't expect her to spend all her time off with me in any way, shape, or form. She has other friends and a husband and I know that she is doing her best to spread herself around to everyone.

I guess I am just irritated because this issue seems to come up a lot with her and I. She knows about my disorders and doesn't feel comfortable when I talk about them..(I don't do this a lot), she teases me constantly that I am crazy and picks on me about my issues. Truth is, she has had just as much of a messed up life as I had, and she chooses not to deal with her own issues.

I wonder if she is jealous because I am doing what I can to change, or if it scares her to be around me because she is afraid of dealing with her issues and I remind her of the bad times she went through.

I just don't know....? I do know that I enjoy her company and she can help put a smile on my face in a matter of seconds. This is such a strange friendship...

I'm going out of may way to pay attention nd not be to needy, but this makes me sad and lonely.

[artichack]

Hey ,I'd invite you out for desert...but just too far away....springtime also showed up here today...beautiful...sunny...birds singing...the soprano's ...very vicious program...try some nice music...and keep finding things like those dog woods...you can find wonderful things in nature...just listen to it....take care...hope your feeling better...