who knows

I don't know where to post this so I'm going to post it here.

When I drive in the area where I was born there is a certain place about 1 km long that everytime I come to that exact place I freak out. I really have to concentrate on my breating or I would have a panick attack and that is everytime. I know that place very well, I just don't know why that 1 km long has a affect on me like this. All I can think is something happened around that 1 km long but I can't remember what it is. I have blocked it. I think and think and think I just can't remember. And even if I talk to myself before I get to that certain place saying it's alright there is nothing there I still panick. Really weird.

Thank you for reading this. Maybe I'm the weird one. Who knows?

nightdream

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nightdream, you're not weird. something probably did happen that you associate with that place and your heart and soul are responding to that. do you have family members that you could talk to??? xoxox pat

((((nightdream)))))

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No, I don't have any family members I could ask because I walked out of their life last november. I did asked questions to some of them before on my childhood but nobody wants to say anything and I don't remember my childhood. The only informations I did got to put a bit of light on my childhood was from people I went to school with and it wasn't much. They told me I didn't talk to anyone, stayed in my corner, didn't want to play with them, was very scare of getting myself or my cloths durty, always wore long sleeves even if it was hot, not one hair misplaced, was afraid of teachers, was the first of my class, did talent competition singing, dancing, music, was put on stage a lot. To tell you the truth if I didn't had pictures of myself on these stages and a trophee with my name on it, I would think they are all lying. I wouldn't go on a stage right now to save my life and I so hate competition.

And I don't remember a thing. You would think I would remember. No, nothing.

Thank you! Wow! I sure can write when I want hein?
nightdream

Nightdream -- The things that made you leave your family and old life behind are probably the dynamics that apparently so petrified you as a child.

So sorry that you have to go through this. I hope your new life is turning out okay and that you are not too lonely.

((((((((((((((((((Nightdream)))))))))))))))))))

I'm glad you're moving on with your life and I certainly hope you can figure out what bothers you about that location.......xoxox pat

My life right now is a real mess. But I keep on moving forward. Leaving abusers one by one behind me. I don't know where I'm going but I'm going.

I'm just scare when I will be done clearing up my life that I'm going to fall down. It takes a lot in me to do what I'm doing and I might have no more strength left when I will be done. But for now I'm taking one day at a time. I will see soon enough when I will be at that point. And I will not have you all to lean on.

Thank you so very much!
nightdream

You have great strength nightdream! I see a survivor in you!
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Nightdream -- What makes you say that you will not have the Psych Central Forums to lean on?

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Thank you sweety! I don't know if I am a survivor but I'm surviving.

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I have you all to lean on until the end of this month. Then I will be moving on my own and I don't know where. I don't have a place to go too and I will probably leave my computer to my daughter. I'm just taking a bit of cloths, that's all.

Thank you!
nightdream

nightdream, there is a rock song from the 80s that has a line in it that i cherish....."i don't know where i'm going, but i sure know where i've been"...sounds like it might apply to you.......best of luck, pat

Thank you sweetheart!

{{{{{{{{{{{Fayerody}}}}}}}}}}}}}

nightdream

Nightdream,

I worry so much for you.
I am glad that you are moving away from abusers and moving forward. (It is forward) I wish you did not have to leave everything behind and that you had some idea where you are to go.

Please, please don't leave all support behind.

*Caring about you.* Take great care.

place