[googley]

I have been going back and forth between feeling really depressed and numb. I hate the going back and forth. If it could could stay one way it would be munch easier to deal with. I feel like I'm lame because I feel like I'm giving in to the feelings. I know that it gets better but I just don't see it.

[justfloating]

((((((((((googley)))))))))))))

You're not alone in going back and forth between feelings. I have actually been able to tell when the depression is going to hit me hard because I'll spend a couple of days going back and forth between being very low and feeling numb before the depression becomes altogether debilitating -- I've started using my mood swings as predictors for what's to come, so that I can either prepare for a low bout or find a way of fending it off. You're not lame or giving into the feelings at all. You are simply feeling what you're feeling, that's it. Try to recognize the way you're feeling at any given time. Take a deep breath and say, "Okay, right now, I feel low. What can I do about it?" The best you can do is recognize how you feel and find the best way to react to or get through it.