[Overcastbutclearing]

I basically look at things as black or white.
Rarely can I see gray.
So, it is either all good or all bad for me.
Does anyone else think like this?
How can I stop it when the bottom seems so dark and empty?
I don't mean there are highs and lows...so I don't want to confuse anyone...but black and white thinking.

I had a friend like that. She either hated people or thought they were her savior. I'm not sure if that is what you are talking about. She had borderline personality disorder so it was really difficult for her. I'm not sure what advice to give you except to talk to a therapist. They will have more insight on how your past is playing in your present. *HUGS* Good luck

[Eva1nder]

I can definately relate...my mom used to tell me I never saw the "grey".

Recently I saw Barbara Walters being interviewed about her most favorite interviews on 20/20. She had brought up about an interview she had with Katherine Hepburn where she used to see things very "black or white" until she had gone to afghanistan and saw what the people were going through not just through the eyes of the governments. So she was saying she was beginning to see the "grey". Katherine turned and said to her..."Well I feel very sorry for you then". lol Barbara just chuckled. I thought it was funny.

I definately can relate though. Hope you got a lil laugh as I did from that to.

[wisewoman]

eva1dr, I am curious and want the context of the Katherine Hepburn thing, did she mean she was sorry that Walters could see shades of grey? Hmm, how very interesting.

[Eva1nder]

it's kinda like kimmy says she see's mostly only in grey. To Katherine I suppose she thinks it's more difficult to see "grey". Much easier in to think in terms of "black" or "white". More clear cut I spose.

[adieuolivaw]

WISEWOMAN: I believe Kathryn Hepburn was noted for being a very strongminded and opinionated woman. She wouldn't have had much use for "grey area" thinking.

[Myzen]

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IHow can I stop it when the bottom seems so dark and empty?

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Hi sj,

This thinking is very common, and it is the main subject of Buddhism.

If we think that the black things are bad (dark and empty) and the white things are good, we are letting ourselves in for a life of sensitivity to the world. We will always be trying to get the good(white) bits and avoiding the bad (black) bits.

The Buddhists tell us that the world is neutral, and it is we that make it into a nice/nasty place. We populate our private world with friends and enemies, when really they are just people, pretty much the same the world over.

The famous Greek philosopher, Aristotle, said that life is best lived between the extremes, the 'middle road' which doesn't have too much pain or pleasure in it.

It's a gentle way to live, and even if we have an illness that makes us wobbly, I think we can aim for that gentle middle way; we can make it our goal. One counsellor I knew called it 'peace', he said 'What we are looking for is peace'.

Wise words.

Cheers, Myzen.