[thunderbear]

I hate this! i slept all day from 9 am till 2pm. I do mot want t be in this house anymore but I have no other option. I rn out of my xanaxs a week early due to the extreme panic attacks I have been experiancing. My husbband thinks depression is an excuse. My sons disrespect me. My dad gave me my papaws old pickup, which is awesome except i can't drive a 5 speed. So I was gonna sell it to my uncles and get me an Intrpeid but my hudbns said no. What is it any of his business anyway? It's MY truck not his. He constantly wants to argue because i don't want to watch T.V. or eat so h just tells me i ruin everything. Mabye I do. He's being a reall butthole latley and I want to get out and away. But he had an order the last time I left that to make it to where I won't be able to see my son without him around because in his words I'm "crazy and a danger to my son" That what he put on put papers that were served to me. I don't know what to do. I am keeping migraines. i want to sleep al day. I feel like crap

[pegasus]

Do you have a therapist to discuss all the options?

[justfloating]

(((((((((((((thunderbear))))))))))))))

[thunderbear]

Originally Posted by pegasus

Do you have a therapist to discuss all the options?

hey pegasus. Idont like to go to therapists. the only one i went to i had a very bad experiance with. first she put me on every drug possible stuff for schizophrenia and weight lss. it was like she ddint even knw what drug to prescribe. then when i told her my husband and i got into a verbal argument she called adult protetion on me cause she thought i would hurt my husband. that ws embarrasing and when i told her what the drugs was doing to me like the twitches and lock jaw she upped my doesage. So i dont want to go to a therapisst again.

[yutzman]

thunderbear, this little antecdote may cheer you up...........
Some years back (about ten) I used to walk my dog down at the mall in the giant grassy areas around the perimeter. Next door was a Carmax dealership that I used to walk by nearly every day. One day I saw a Geo Tracker sitting in the lot, a little SUV with splash decals on the side and a convertible top. I thought, 'that would be neat to drive', since I was driving a Nissan Sentra at the time. I looked inside and my heart dropped when I saw it was a 5 speed manual (never drove stick before and felt a bit phobic about it). That night I couldn't get it out of my head. Something in me said 'I have to buy it'. I had a feeling of dread and exhilaration at the same time.
The next day I looked at it again, and couldn't believe the price considering the mileage and condition it was in. I went in and bought it right then, trading in the Nissan. At that point I had nothing else to drive, and I couldn't drive the stick, so I thought 'what the H am I going to do now'?.................I'll tell you what I did...........I climbed in that car, started it up and drove it home.....It wasn't pretty either. I popped, stalled, peeled out, ground the gears into oblivion....but I got it home.....and the next time I drove it I did the same thing, and again, and again. Until I got better and better, until one day I was driving that 5 speed like it was the only thing I had ever driven......My current truck is a 5 speed and at this point I don't think I will ever drive anything else.
If nothing else, that experience taught to respect myself...that I can do it, no matter what others think. I had put my mind to it....I was the middle of my own world behind that wheel.....It was my fight and I did it.......