[hereiam]

Sometimes I get depressed for about a week, give or take a few days. My T is saying dysthmia, but I don't believe that's what it is. I've read up on dsythmia, how its a chronic but less severe form of depression. Now, I get the shorter periods, but the severity of it seems very real. My T asked if I ever got suicidal during these times and I said no - because I never seriously consider it. I think about how much more I can take before I crack, or if this is how the rest of my life is going to be with the ups and downs. I think ABOUT suicide, but not about actually commiting it because I know it would ruin my family and friends, and I know what it's like to get close to losing someone that way.

Basically, I'm just wondering what this is? I've heard chemical imbalance, or bipolar, but I don't think I'm bipolar. I don't get manic. These short but intense depressions seem much more than just a "blue, down, blah" feeling that is described in someone with dsythmia. They are real, debilitating, and I often find myself hopeless and scared at what will become of me. I've been searching for answers everywhere with this - but I just can't find it on the internet. Since it's not 2 weeks or longer, it isn't considered major depressive disorder. These usually come anywhere from once a month, to a few times a month, or it can skip months. It doesn't seem related to any specific stressors.

Anyone have any insight? I know I should tell my T, and I plan on it (you know, one day...) but until then I'd like to see if anyone else has any ideas to what might be going on.

Thanks.

[jmo531]

I dont know what to tell you about this except that I wish you well and I hope you find the answers you need. Take care.

[(JD)]

Sometimes it isn't good to be one's own doctor... why not trust your T with the expert thinking? Anxiety is part and parcel of depression, please share with you T about how much you think about a hopeless future... why pay for therapy if you aren't going to cooperate? Sorry... just wondering. Take care.

[hereiam]

I often ask myself that question a lot. I pay her to help me, so why don't I have her do just that? Meh. I dunno why. Sometimes I just can't say those things.

Anyway, guess I'll just have to deal with it somehow. Oh well.

[Maya]

If you have trouble saying these things - why not write her - or print up this thread you started and let her read it. I know in therapy I turn in a journal of my feelings every week and the following week my T goes over what I have written that he thinks is significant (either positive or negative) - especially if I did NOT mention it during the therapy session. (He knows those are the things I am trying to avoid so he gently brings them up to talk about). You are right - you are paying for a service - would you withhold from a doctor the fact that you were in pain somewhere in your body? Well, you are in pain from inside your mind. It is important for your T to know these things in order to provide you with the best possible treatment.

[Zorah]

Sounds more like cyclical depression to me. Also worth having your thyroid checked, as uneven thyroid function can cause symptoms like this. Don`t ask your t, go to your regular doctor.

[CJR520]

A few years back, I wrote my therapist about four pages the first time I went in because I was so upset I just couldn't even talk it out. He read it all, and it really helped. Maybe that would work for you. I wish you didn't feel so bad right now. Get better!!