[koalabb]

<font color="black"> </font> I am confused. I am 19 and live in Los Angeles. My name is Stephanie. I recently falling for my new therapist. Her name is Agnes. We just met a few day ago. But I am still love my school psychologist. I feel torn. Help me please?

[nothemama8]

It is perfectly fine to have feelings for both, these are ppl that are helping you in your life, enjoy them both
Angie

[koalabb]

Thanks for the reply!

[nothemama8]

Does this make sense to you , we gather many ppl in our lives this is our way to a safe existance

[koalabb]

huh? what that mean? should i tell her or should i not telling her.

[koalabb]

[color:black] [/color]

What don't kill you make you stronger!

[Wants2Fly]

My understanding is that it is "normal" to have strong feelings for therapists. I think it is called transference.

Because we are supposed to be honest with our therapists, it is probably best to bring this into the open so that together you can work on the issues that are involved. That way, it can become a growth experience for you instead of a private misery.

If you watch the Sopranos, even tough Tony Soprano starts to fall for his T.

[koalabb]

I wrote her a letter and should i give it to her? The letter explained my crush toward her. What should i do? Will she freak out! SOME ADVICE?

[Wants2Fly]

Hi Stephanie -- I don't think anyone online can predict how your therapist will respond to your letter. Because you have fallen in love with her, this makes me suspect that she is somewhat close to your own age. If that is true, she may not have a great deal of experience handling this sort of thing. Hopefully, she has enough experience not to "freak" and to handle the situation with appropriate professionalism.

If she doesn't, remember this: Her reaction is not your fault. It's not your job to figure out how your therapist will respond and modify your behavior to suit her. Well, okay, if you were say, planning on hitting her over the head with a chair, then I would say, yeah, better give some thought to how she would respond. Such as having you taken away in handcuffs!

In this situation, if she isn't able to handle the situation with professionalism, that is not your fault. A constructive therapeutic experience requires honesty and trust. If you can't trust her with your feelings for her, how will you decide which feelings you can trust her with? What I was taught was this: We are only as sick as our deepest secrets. It's getting to the place where we can share those secrets with another human being that allows us to dig into these old wounds, clean them out, and let them heal properly, so they are no longer festering wounds that torture us emotionally.

Honesty, in my opinion, starts now, with this. I am sure that this will be very hard for you and will take a great deal of courage. I wish you much peace and great blessings in handling this delicate matter.

[koalabb]

Thanks!

[koalabb]

She is not same age as i am. She is much older than me.

[Fuzzybear]

Hi koalabb, transference is normal, and it can feel like you are falling in love with your therapist.... that also is normal. I think your therapist will have the experience and compassion to handle this in such a way as to help you on your healing path. Being open and honest with your therapist is very important if she is to truly help you. Good luck, and keep us updated!

Take care,
Fuzzy

[sometimes]

tell me more about transference...do you guys know more?

[koalabb]

I tell my new therapist today about my feeling for her. She asked me why i said because i think she is good looking and nice. She said is ok to think about her but not stalking her.

[koalabb]

I am seeing her again on wednesday. I think I am getting more and more obsessive toward her. Should i tell her that? How can i tell?

[Wants2Fly]

Koalabb -- How did you feel after revealing your feelings to your T? Were you satisfied with her reaction? Did the two of you talk about this? Did you ask her about transference?

Therapy depends on honesty. But honesty doesn't have to be instant and immediate. It can be a gradual peeling away protective layers, like taking layers of skin off an onion.

It's generally not helpful to get feelings about one's T bottled up.

Only you can decide how much to reveal to your T and how quickly or slowly.

[koalabb]

She is really understanding and I felt better telling her about my feeling. We talked about Transference. I felt okay because I know is important to be honest and be able to tell her how I feel.

[Wants2Fly]

That sounds very positive. I'm glad it helped.

[koalabb]

I felt so good today! Agnes held me today. She held me close and pet my back today. I told her I love her. She held my hand. I felt so good when she hold me close. OMG-She is so sexy. Her body is what i die for. Sexy body. Her body is really soft and really warm. Soft like pillow and warm like spring sunshine. Her smiling face is like the warm sprink sunshine shine thru my sad and lonely heart. Break thru the pain and bring me joy and happiness. I love you so much.!