[ClinicallyClueless]

I feel like I’ve been just barely holding it together and just need a safe place to “fall apart” and process some of what has happened. Due to the rapid nature of the events, I feel like too much happened for me to be able to recover from one event to the next. I’m feeling really overwhelmed.

I feel like I've been rapidly having more difficulties with depression, focusing, making decisions, fragmenting, ridged thinking to no thinking, staying present, feeling disconnected and on the verge of disorganizing. So, my therapist brought up hospitalization as an option.

Think, think, think….I obtained advise from my psychiatrist and the psychologist that I had during my last hospitalization. They were of no help!!! My therapist laughed because everyone was saying that it is up to me that I know myself the best and can make this decision. Sigh!!!

This week, I decided that I needed hospitalization. It was a tough decision because of my concern for my husband, who is very supportive. Also, I don’t really want another hospitalization. However, suicidal thoughts and self-harm urges are getting stronger and more consistent, so I know I’m headed for trouble. But, I am not there yet.

So, on Monday, I will have an intake/assessment for admission if I meet the criteria which I am sure that I will. Bottom line is that if you hear from me, I wasn’t hospitalized. If you don’t hear from me assume that I was admitted.

[Catherine2]

((CC))
You are in my thoughts....

It took such courage to post with such honesty. It also took courage to take steps towards taking care of yourself...if inpatient is the answer then so be it.
Sometimes we have to do it or continue to feel lost and hurting, full of fear and despair...

Best wishes
Catherine

[justfloating]

((((((((CC)))))))))

Best wishes and good luck to you. I hope you get the help and support that you need. You are doing a very brave thing.

[pegasus]

((((( ClinicallyClueless )))))

You are taking the right steps to help you. Your appointment isn't until Monday, are you going to be ok until then? Keep talking to us and let us know how you are.

Good luck to you. You need to keep yourself safe. That's very important. You're doing the right thing . Take good care.

[daggy]

I hope you can get through your tough times and come out to face the world again with all your friends here that are holding a candle for you

[yutzman]

When your 'on that edge', hospitalization can be the only solution. I've been in a couple of times. Fully 'in-patient' once and in the 'day-hospital' twice. The day-hospital was nice because I went to therapy from 9-5, then went home for the evening. I thought it helped me as much as the in-patient, and got the support of my family in the evening...Could be a consideration...............yutzman...

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( CC )))))))))))))))

[Asylum Crew]

good luck and thinking of you
Ella

[Berries]

((((((((((((((((ClinicallyClueless))))))))))))))))

sounds like you are doing the right thing. good for you for taking care of yourself!


weather the storm
dodge the inevitable if you wern't taking care of yourself
keep up the fight!

[ffgal]

I just got out of the hospital a few weeks ago. Am still feeling very depressed. Going in does keep you safe though. Hope things get better for you soon!!!!!

[ClinicallyClueless]

Thank you for the overwhelming support. I really appreciate it. This is going to be a tough weekend as my husband will be with his family for his father's burial on Saturday and with his family for Mother's Day. My therapist is also out of town. My anxiety level is pretty high.

I know that I am doing what is necessary, but I'm starting to talk myself out of it. However, I will go. I've already stared packing and should finish today or close to it.

I feel badly because this is my fourth hospitalization and I was just hospitalized this past Jan/Feb.

[Berries]

(((((((((((CC)))))))))))))

Try not to feel bad. This isn't a failure this is a courageous act of self care. You need to be safe and well for your family and yourself and this is just a way to get there.

[Catherine2]

((CC))
It's understandable that this is making you sad, but I'm sincerely glad you will do it and give it another chance.
You will be safe, as was pointed out, and perhaps meds changed...
Many good things can result from your willingness and courage to admit that you need additional help.

Know that you are in our thoughts and we stand with you in spirit,
Catherine

[miray]

(((((((((((CC)))))))))))) You are taking the right steps....do whatever it takes to heal