[Rhapsody]

I hate life today and all that it has thrown upon me..... I have been crying almost none stop since about 5:30 tonight (after a rude state trooper pulled me over and gave me hell - but no ticket) and the tears just keep on springing out of no where and I can't sleep even though I have to get up at 7 am to babysit four young kids for twelve long hours -

ME NEED A HUG - as I feel like maybe I am the problem here in this world and that maybe it is not life it self that has the problem as I have always thought.....

[thelionkinglives]

Originally Posted by Rhapsody

I hate life today and all that it has thrown upon me..... I have been crying almost none stop since about 5:30 tonight (after a rude state trooper pulled me over and gave me hell - but no ticket) and the tears just keep on springing out of no where and I can't sleep even though I have to get up at 7 am to babysit four young kids for twelve long hours -

ME NEED A HUG - as I feel like maybe I am the problem here in this world and that maybe it is not life it self that has the problem as I have always thought.....

(((((Rapsody))))
Did he pull you over for speeding?
What did he say to you that was rude?
There has been alot of cases caught on tape later withg law enforcement abusing there authority?

Have you had past issues with law enforcement that this could have brought out or is this the only one?
Stop poking at yourself like that....it'll make your inner child cry

[Elysium]

RHAPSODY

I'm sorry to hear about your rough night!! Sounds like that officer's behavior was very triggering for you!!

Big hugs for you...! And please take care!!

Have a good day with the kiddos!!

[justfloating]

(((((((((((((((Rhapsody))))))))))))))))))

[pegasus]

Someone yelling at you probably reminded you of old stuff. Sending hugs to you >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

((((((( Rhapsody )))))))

[bipolar_bear]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Rhapsody)))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am sorry he triggered you so much.

BB

(((((((Rhapsody)))))))
Hoping things have calmed down for you. You are not the problem in this world. You are a valuable and worthwhile person. You are not the blame for anything. Triggers have a way of reaching deep and tapping into those old tapes and feelings.
That's what it is really.

Sending you hugs and lending you an ear.

[turquoisesea]

(((((((((((((((Rhapsody))))))))))))))

I'm sorry the trooper was mean, they can be that way.

[Rhapsody]

Thanks every one..... I am still feeling the effects of yesterday and I think I know what the connection was - he reminded me of the officer that came to my school when I was 12 years old and my mother had called them concerning my stepfather sexually abusing me..... that officer was rude to me and treated me like I was the criminal - he even insinuated that maybe I did some thing to cause it (like wear skimpy revealing clothes around my stepfather) - yeah right I barely had enough to call large mosquito bites at the time in my life.

This revelation came to me this morning when I asked WHY did I break down so quickly, as I am usually a very strong woman, and WHY the words "You are making me feel like I did some thing Wrong" kept coming out of my mouth with the tears flowing from my burning red eyes as I tried to talk to this very unfriendly and rude officer.

(((((((((((R h a p s o d y))))))))))

I'm sorry....

Getting caught off guard. Those triggers sometimes sneak in.

[Berries]

(((((((((((((((Rhapsody))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry that that original cop made you feel like the SA was your fault. That was so so so wrong of him. Of course it was NOT your fault!!

No wonder the cop the other day triggered you.

Good for you for figuring it out!!!

Just keep reminding yourself that it is NOT you. YOU did nothing wrong. And that was then, you were a child, and this is now, you are, as you said, a very stong woman!!

sending lots of HUGS:

[Rhapsody]

Thanks Berries.... I just hate that something that occurred thirty years ago can still haunt me and have such an effect.

I have DID and I can tell you with out a doubt that I lost my real self that year... shakes head and thinks
- that makes me feel extremely sad.

[Berries]

((((((((((((((((Rhapsody))))))))))))))))

[turquoisesea]

I'm sorry you lost such an important part of you that day. It might not be lost forever. You might have changed along bit but I really do believe that something remains of the person who was before, even if it is so hard to see. I guess there's nothing I can say that can make that loss any better, any easier to live with, but do know I am sitting here with you, and that I do think you can work through it, all is not lost

Originally Posted by Rhapsody

Thanks Berries.... I just hate that something that occurred thirty years ago can still haunt me and have such an effect.

I have DID and I can tell you with out a doubt that I lost my real self that year... shakes head and thinks
- that makes me feel extremely sad.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( Rhapsody ))))))))))))))