Tired of older people harassing me about my disability

ha ha - shouting, "I have cancer, any questions?" - that's a hoot!

It isn't just older people...it's concerned people too.

I don't use the hang tag because I have a license tag for handicapped...few people check there before they say something.

I confront others too, who don't have a tag and "fail to put up the hangtag". I do so nicely..."you forgot your hangtag" or "you do know you're in a handicapped space?" This cost me $1000 last year and a lot of hassle when someone who was caught parking where he should (another doctor) thought I had turned him in (I did not because he moved his car) and he slashed my convertible roof the next day. grrrrr BUT it did stop people from parking illegally there.

Those who are truly handicapped thank me for reminding them...those who are nasty obviously aren't handicapped or are having a bad day (or it could be they never had any manners and I'm not going to change that!)

I guess people feel so stressed and disappointed they have to blow up over things. So truly unhappy. Also, I think either stress or something else make people unable to reflect upon things. They have no thoughts but push right ahead into action.

If one has been to different countries and different places in the same country, one knows that it doesn't have to be that way. So I really wonder what is so wrong with some environments that people cannot think, reflect and less care.

It's some kind of disease.

I wish I could spread some true love there, and make people able to reflect and break out of their programming.

I am sorry you are having to go through this --and I too am wondering where you live, as I never want to live there if this is how the over all population behave. I am also a lady that became disable at a young age, but I have never had to exp the insults about where I park from any one. (((Hugs)))

Really it's nobody's business but your own!
When asked if you're really disabled, say yes and walk away.

Thank you all for your replies, it means a lot. It sucks a lot of us have to deal with this at one time or another, I wish people could just mind their own business or their delicate egos.

It happened again, today. At a hospital of all places. I come hobbling out of the car and there were two women who were walking towards me and decided to ask me ridiculously personal questions, and then decided to call me a "tranny" (I am trans), and then I went in and had my infusion therapy and cried some because don't these people jusr get fuc**** tired with all that hate? don't they just get bored of themselves.

Christ.

don't answer their questions next time, rude old biddies

My dad was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis when he was 40. He's 51 now. His particular case gives him pain (like an everpresent sunburn) and lower limb weakness as well as, occasionally, lack of balance. That combined with a knee injury he sustained when he was 18 that never quite healed properly means that he has a very hard time walking. Being in the heat further exaserbates these problems. I don't remember when exactly we acquired a handicap hangtag. I think it was 2007. But, to my knowledge, we have never been questioned or given nasty looks when we park in handicap and he's having a day good enough that he can walk without the cane or walker. Even so, my mom and/or I usually take him by one side just in case he does start to have problems. I suspect people do send nasty thoughts our way, and I'm always prepared to answer them should they speak them aloud. My mom has been talking about getting him some cards to put in his wallet that explain his illness, medications, etc.

It is difficult to find handicap parking here, though. If the spots are all full and he's having a bad day, then I'll drop him off by the entrance and park and meet him inside or something. (He doesn't drive. My mom took away that privilege when he accidentally rear-ended someone in 2011 because he couldn't feel whether it was the gas or the brake he was pressing.) If we have his walker and there aren't any steps or steep hills, I'll have him sit in that and wheel him to the door.

He doesn't look old, except for being hunched over and having a full head of gray hair. I think it also helps that he generally relates well to the older crowd.

My husband has had handicapped parking since he was about 35. We've never been approached by anyone doubting his need for parking, maybe because he's usually at least using a cane and most often uses armband crutches. The only time anyone ever said anything was actually a police officer who was just checking to be sure that the person registered to use the handicapped parking was actually the one using it (which I think tends to be the bigger problem). We thanked him for checking. I do think there are many out there who use handicapped parking simply because they happen to have a placard in the car for someone else, even when that person isn't even there.

Now, we have a family friend who has handicapped parking due to having had a heart transplant. She doesn't "look" handicapped, so people assume she has no medical necessity. She runs into more problems (and she's older) than my husband does.

She took your cane? Does she take wheelchairs off people too?

I am so sorry that this happens. I am appalled, actually. If I could, I would come be your body guard, if you wanted.

You're hired. It just gets so exhausting, really. Constantly explaining to people that I am in pain. That I don't mean to be a "bother". My body is just... useless.

It's so exhausting.

That's true it is exhausting without having to explain yourself to nosey parkers!
Where I live there are many elderly people and when my nurse visits the curtains are twitching and I've heard them talking, rumour was that I had cancer I mean how horrible is that? I do not they disgust me.
Then one lady said to me as I struggled down the path with my two sticks "you were running last week", I couldn't believe it, last time I ran was about 15 years ago.
I really used to let these people bother me but now I don't care what they say or think its my struggle not theirs!
One day I was so tired of explaining myself a person asked what's that huge scar on your neck off? I replied aw it was when someone kept bothering me and it all turned a bit nasty, she quickly turned away, it was actually a scar that had healed horribly from a neck operation ha ha
Well serves her right

Hold your head high and remember if they want to be nosey and gossip tell them to buy a newspaper

Take care
J

Hope you are doing OK.

In my county you don't even get a handicapped parking card if the one driving isn't the one in the wheelchair. According to the bureaucrats there was no reason my parents couldn't park a mile away, take out the wheelchair and push me to my destination.

Then again, it's the same country that wouldn't give me a wheelchair in the first place, nor a stairlift. Hey, how do you expect me to get to my bedroom upstairs or the bathroom downstairs (no (space for) a bedroom downstairs or (facilities for) a bathroom upstairs) when I can't/don't wear my prosthetic? My occupational and physical therapists were in my home, looked at my stairs, and declared them a dangerous hazard for people using crutches.

My Dad went through the same thing, and he was in his thirties I think. Bad back, cane, handicapped parking. We'd get so many looks that eventually my mother would ask to park elsewhere to avoid the glares which didn't work out well for him for obvious reasons.

I only understand up to a point because I'd be the one helping him out, pick things up, get around. Like if he ever dropped something like keys, a pen, I'd have to pick them up or he'd struggle and hurt himself.

If there's any advice I could think of, you don't have to prove anything to them. It's sad that certain elderly think they're the only people who can obtain a legal parking permit. Given it's been more than ten years since he's been hurt, all you can do is hold your head up and ignore them.

( I do admit my father got so angry once with this one couple, he grabbed the little sign thing and waved it around. I highly suggest you don't do this, but hope you might get a chuckle out of it. )

You gotta quit looking so approachable. Dont look at people; dont respond to them. Dont give them an opening. If you havent been properly introduced, why are you talking with them? I would give them an etiquette lesson - "oh im sorry, i thought i recognized you from church. But everybody there knows what im dealing with and is praying for me. " that should shut their traps. Man i am a sarcastic b!

I'm sorry that you were put through that. Unfortunately, a lot of us forget that being younger doesn't guarantee a life of peaches and cream.Still, there is no excuse for someone to be mean and nasty like that. Life is hard already at any age, and when you are disabled and you get people treating you like dirt over it, that doesn't help. I'm in my 50's and I still get people, like my step-mother, telling me that I'm too young to feel tired! I asked her one time how old a person was supposed to be before they were allowed to feel tired.

Sometimes, people just get mean and nasty to people, no matter how "approachable" they are. I've had people get right in my face about something when I was minding my own business.

I have to say that when I was healthy I would sometimes question some people's "disability." Thankfully I never verbally expressed my feelings. I was always taught to be civil and courteous, which sadly are traits missing from society today. I get those looks and questions because I get out of a jacked up truck and usually walk without a cane. But none these people know I wear leg braces, or see the reason I park in the wider handicap spaces because I have to open my truck door all the way to get in, which is impossible in normal parking spots.. I wish I could afford a more appropriate vehicle. So for now I just smile, hold my tongue, and try my best to ignore these losers.

Oh my gosh that is so horrible. I can't believe that lady took your cane!! I'm with the others who said charge her with assault. I mean, she seriously injured you with her self-righteous stupidity!
My husband is 35 and in a wheelchair because of severe rheumatoid arthritis, and he gets a lot of dirty looks when we are out and about in town. Like people think he's a lazy bum who wants attention. Honestly, my own dad doesn't believe he's disabled. He's actually yelled at him to get up and walk and hurled so many other abuses at him.
People are stupid. Hugs to you!

oh no i am so sorry my brother in law sufferes he is bedridden he can get up with a cane just to use the bath

Just last week as I was entering the post office, with my service dog mind you, a law enforcement officer who was also entering, stopped me. He asked if I had a hang tag. I stammered at first and then remembered, "I have a license plate." He looked equally taken aback and then said, nicely, " Oh Okay." Of course I told him thanks for checking. But, really? He could have just walked over to the car and checked it out instead of bothering me.

I have put an international orange vest on my doggie now. It was tough at the end of the summer but okay heat-wise now. So it takes me a bit longer and more difficultly to "dress" him to go out...as the vest goes under his orange harness. I clip on "ID" that has both our names, stating he and I are both trained, and also with the ADA statement...and a Do Not Pet tag, and a patch that says he's a service dog (in training).

I learned that FL law has a note about being able to identify a service dog from afar when it (they are) crossing a street. ...FL has a pedestrian law that they have the right of way (even if jaywalking)...but perhaps IF they happen to run over a disabled person who has a clearly identified (from afar) service dog THEN the penalty is harsher or something????

I'm old now...but I was disabled at 34. It's been a long haul journey and I am glad it's almost over. But last week someone said, again, "But you don't look disabled!" !!!!!

Are you SERIOUS? That is insane!! I feel for you. I love my rollator and get "looks" and I'm 52!

What is, is. Some people are disabled, some people are ignorant. Disabled people must work hard to live relatively normal lives. Ignorant people must be exposed to unnaceptably slow and disfunctional disabled people as often as possible in order to develop empathy and understanding and gradully be alleviated of their ignorance. You are doing these folks a favour by taking the time to interact with them and helping them evolve!