Really ticked off (may trigger)

I am really ticked off. No one lets me do a dam thing and it is really starting to tick me off. This girl at a meeting Diana goes to hit my last nerve tonight and I was told to go out side. She thinks she is so special and she sooooo is not but what really made me mad is I am supposed to just let her be. I wanted to speak my mind and really let her have. Diana is always holding in her anger and I am not allowed to express myself at all. I am so sick and tired of keeping quiet and keeping my opinions to myself. Not allowed to speak my mind not allowed to break things to vent not allowed to drink what the h*ll am I supposed to do. I sick of this I mean really. I am mad and never allowed to express it. Does anyone else have this problem I mean why cant I just be me. One of these days I am gona call out from work and just take off. I am so sick of being locked away cuase people might find me offensive. Well screw that I need to get time out to.

P*ssed off
LYNN

Lynn,

The anger feeling is really familiar. We are right here reading/listening to you. It's so okay for you to let out some of the anger here on this post. Seems that Dianas is being too controlling for you. Is there some way to compromise with her? It is really hard if you have to always keep things in and are never allowed to have an opninion. Okay maybe this meeting was not the time or place and maybe breaking things and drinking aren't the best choices but you really need to be allowed to safely expess yourself to her and then possibly to the greater group. Perhaps you can find a time and a way to communicate with her. Here's hoping you can pretty soon.

H.

DianasClan--

I am sorry you are having such a very rough time. I understand the anger part about not knowing what to do with it. You should have a right to express your anger but in a safe and in a way that is not going to hurt any of you. You need to be able to express to her how she makes you feel as it seems she is always seeming to bring out that part of you.

I validate your feelings and want you to know that I hear you and feel what you are saying. Is there a way that you can bring it up so that you can express what you are feeling? Everyone has the right to be heard, including you. I don't know if breaking things is the right thing to do, at least at the meeting--but whose to say that you cannot throw some old plates or something against a wall later to let out some anger.

Know we are here to listen to whatever you need to say. We understand anger and the need to express it. We are listening if you need to say more.

dps

Lynn, I agree that you need to be able to vent. Have you ever tried journaling, typing or writing what you feel? You don't have to edit it at all that way and no one would be made at you.

You can rant at me too if you like =) I wouldn't mind.

---hey it's vicki here
i know where ya comin from fer sure!!
i got the same kinda treetment from "D"
no this, no that--can't break things, can't cant can't
did learn some good ways to act tho. our therapist was real
cool at teachin me some stuff that helps
i can write stuff down using crayons and markers and blank paper.
i have my own book to write in.
i got clay. and playdoh. i can smoosh and punch and make ppl and tear them apart if i want.
i get the old phone books and can cut them up or tear them-cept i gotta clean up the mess...
i'm not supposed to say things offensive.
but i got my ways of letting it out.
i know some of the "bad" words in sign language and can make it
look like just a normal action and be sayin one of them bad words LOL LOL LOL.
i pace around real hard too. that's helps.
throw darts at the tree or a dart board on the garage wall--who cares if i miss
them just some of my ideas.
cooooooool vicki

hi lynn,

you are an important part of diana and she needs you. i am always excited now when my parts with the anger come out in talking with my T. we had to keep all our anger hidden as a kid to survive and later when i became a Christian i misunderstood and didn't realize that God accepts my anger and gave it to me so i would not be a doormat and so i would get upset at wrong things.

after so many years of holding in anger it gets very hard to keep on that way. you NEED to be expressing your anger, but it has to come out in some way that doesn't create problems for the others in your inside family. your anger probably scares some of the others and it can embarrass them if you get asked to leave when your anger gets big.

someday maybe you can begin to communicate with the others and find a way to release the pressure in yourself without harming them or getting anyone in trouble.

we all need our anger, but anger without control can be destructive and we've all had enough destruction in our lives due to the abuse of the past.

my leah would love to get together with you and blow off steam, i'm just not sure what would happen....(lol) i hope you find your way through these hard times.

leslie and her pixies

hi lynn i understand what you mean i have that problem also never being able to say what you really feel sorry i dont have advice for you rite now but i can offer big hugs if you want them just to let you know im here and thinking of you