so we need to kind of stuff all the feelings and memories cause it's not safe to deal with them when T is gone. Guess we'll stay busy or say in bed. How do you sutff all those things?

[Eriksplus]

Sorry, but you really can't...
You can forget them, however, by thinking of other things.
(Webber)Erik

[Miracle1986]

(((((Calista)))))
Sorry your T is away.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((( Calista )))))))))))))))
staying busy or staying in bed is probably about it

[wanttoheal]

(((((((((((((((((((Calista+12)))))))))))))))))) I'm so sorry. Does T allow you to call her or email her while she is away? My T here checks her email when she is gone and we text message a lot (I have difficulty talking on the phone). Sometimes I will text her and ask her to leave a voicemail. Is that an option?

For me, I guess I dissociate more when I am distressed, which is kind of stuffing it I think. I've also had times when information comes in front of the barriers and then it's gone again, like it's been sucked back. That usually happens when it's too much I think. I sometimes will remember that we talked about something hard or that hard stuff came up, but it's completely gone, no memory and no emotion, just knowledge that something was there.

Maybe you can write T letters in a journal while she is gone so you can feel connected. You could bring them to her when she gets back or throw them away or keep them, whichever is more comfortable.

How long is T going to be gone? We are here to support you.

my T is away this week---AGAIN--- also.
she gave me an assignment before she left....think of positive things and goals and things i like to do and write them in my journal. let insiders do that also.
do something on the list and write about how we felt. (naomi and her plants, lil willow and a book or draw a picture etc).
these are positive distractions and they usually work.

i also have a "containment box" which is just a plain cigar box i got at the craft store. write all the things that come to mind on separate index cards and put them in the box. when T comes back, bring them to her to talk about. The trick is, that once they are in the box, you DON'T look at them.

just what we do.....

[LivingMiracle]

Can you try to do some soothing things while she is away? Color, draw, clay, cook, garden? Do stuff that makes you feel better and that you enjoy.

Calista+12,

How long is T gone for?

I might be able to come up with something that will help.

T will be gone for a month. He lets me call or email but the word vacation stops me. It feels that nothing is safe or comfortable. Our new car was hit and we have to deal with an insurance company who doesn't give a damn. Husband is out of work again. Unemployment doesn't want to work too hard at looking if we qualify. Our house is torn up by contractors who will probably never get finished. Our safety is gone. Our stability is gone. I can't talk to anyone irl about any feelings because the rest of the family believes it's all my fault or that I'm just nuts.
We don't dare to journal or get into anything that may make it worse. It seems the meds aren't working. We feel slightly paranoid irl and everywhere. Everyone says "it will be ok" BULL! It won't it never will be ok again!
We feel like an outcast everywhere. we know we're too sensitive. Everything hurts.
Orange Blossom...what did this mean?
Calista+12,

How long is T gone for?

I might be able to come up with something that will help.

You are going through a VERY difficult time. I wanted to do something special for you but I want it to be a surprise, so I can't reveal it yet.

It will be done soon.

I hope you will like it!

surprise??

Well, it's a nice surprise. But if all this is bothering you, I can hold off on posting it. That's no problem at all. I want you to feel safe and comfortable.

No, It's ok....sorry

Your special place is ready. It's in The Garden.

(((OrangeBlossom)))
We don't deserve anything so beautiful. Thank you so much. (and we're sorry for being difficult)

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( Calista )))))))))))))))

[Hunny]

Calista,

All of these externals also have happened to us and continue (in residue or consequence). Your safety and stability are still here because safety and stability are internal.

We are here for you too...still...and as long as we can, you can type to us here. Here at PC Calista is not an 'outcast' but an 'in cast', a very valuable and important person to me/us.

Here is hoping you can feel the caring. Hunny gently wipes Calista's tears and holds her hand.

Hunny,

Originally Posted by Calista+12

T will be gone for a month. He lets me call or email but the word vacation stops me. It feels that nothing is safe or comfortable. Our new car was hit and we have to deal with an insurance company who doesn't give a damn. Husband is out of work again. Unemployment doesn't want to work too hard at looking if we qualify. Our house is torn up by contractors who will probably never get finished. Our safety is gone. Our stability is gone. I can't talk to anyone irl about any feelings because the rest of the family believes it's all my fault or that I'm just nuts.
We don't dare to journal or get into anything that may make it worse. It seems the meds aren't working. We feel slightly paranoid irl and everywhere. Everyone says "it will be ok" BULL! It won't it never will be ok again!
We feel like an outcast everywhere. we know we're too sensitive. Everything hurts.
Orange Blossom...what did this mean?
Calista+12,

How long is T gone for?

I might be able to come up with something that will help.

We need to find an internal saftey but we aren't able to. We've always had to base "safety" on our surroundings and if they weren't stable, we weren't safe. We know, in the big scheme of things, our garbage is minor. We hate to hear whining coming from our mouths. We wake up in the morning with a "somethings wrong" feeling in the stomach. Again...no big deal even though it seems like it to us.
Whatever happens, you all have been wonderful to us.
We don't deserve any of it but we are grateful.
We're trying and trying but nothing is helping....we're worn out.

Originally Posted by Hunny

Calista,

All of these externals also have happened to us and continue (in residue or consequence). Your safety and stability are still here because safety and stability are internal.

We are here for you too...still...and as long as we can, you can type to us here. Here at PC Calista is not an 'outcast' but an 'in cast', a very valuable and important person to me/us.

Here is hoping you can feel the caring. Hunny gently wipes Calista's tears and holds her hand.

Hunny,

(((Hunny)))
Your words are so comforting. Thank you.

It is too hard and it all hurts too much
I guess that makes me a coward...ok that's fine
I hate everything about myself

[LivingMiracle]

Originally Posted by Calista+12

It is too hard and it all hurts too much
I guess that makes me a coward...ok that's fine
I hate everything about myself

Noooo, it does not make you one
Never hate and plus there isn't anything to hate about you
Your kind and caring, who cares about their friends deaply.
You are always offering support!
If okay

We just want to run away...so far and so fast, nobody will find us.

[iamtwilight]

if you do run away, please find a computer with a safe connection and let us know how you are.

here listening and caring.

No worries...I'm too damn lazy to run unless someone's chasing me or there's a good sale someplace.

[Hunny]

Originally Posted by Calista+12

No worries...I'm too damn lazy to run unless someone's chasing me or there's a good sale someplace.

We grateful for Calista's sense of humor.

Those 'mean' tapes playing around in your head when you wake up in the morning sound familiar to us.

Is it possible to find some really 'fine' and 'intentionally positive' repetitions to say to youself if the morning? We think you could start with Calista is a good person and a nice friend. We ask you to say in at least 10x's tomorrow morning and then report back. Dr Hunny's orders lol.


Hunny