i need support please

well, the mother's not talking with me again. she had a stress test scheduled and i told her that i didn't see any way that i could take her. it was scheduled for yesterday morning at 7 a.m. she has a husband who can take her, but she didn't want him to. anyhow, that would have required me getting up at 4:30, getting the baby up at 5:30 and driving on the interstate during rush hour and not knowing where i was going. i asked her to reschedule and she said she couldn't, even tho she hadn't tried. i said i didn't see how i could do that...at all. also, i was the first day back to work for me for a couple of hours.

well, eventually she asked her husband and he asked her to reschedule it! she was able to then...to a closer facility. under those circumstances, i don't think i was being selfish. she had another ride, she didn't even attempt to change it, and with the baby it would've been too much.

anyhow, now she's not talking so here's my chance to keep in place the non-communication that i've been wanting. she always makes me feel so guilty, responsible and sorry for her. i will NOT apologize. I will NOT call her. if she calls me, i'll speak with her a couple of times a week regarding the baby and her plans with him.

there's another point, if i'm not kissing her rosey red, she won't get him and that hurts him

there's my story...

thanks for listening,

kd

(((((((((( kimmydawn )))))))))))))

I'm really sorry you had to go through that with all the you do and give of yourself.

I have a mom that is like that...very narcassistic. ..think only of themselves...and feel this "self entitlement".

I'm really proud of you and you should be to that you stuck to your guns.

Don't feel bad about it...

If I was you...I might have just done it not to "hear" her and then I just would feel worse and angry inside, which I suspect if you did you would to and just end up building resentment...so you definately did the right thing.

Eventually she'll learn she can't take advantage of you because you won't allow for it.

*hugs*
Eva

Kimmy as your alway saying you must do what is best for you, and you did this, ppl have to get use to boundries. You go girl
Angie

(((((((((((((((kimmydawn))))))))))))))

Wow KD that's great you stood your ground!

Your mom sounds soooo much like mine!! I'm trying to do the very thing you've done.... but.... my steps are much smaller.
I'm proud of you, knowing how hard it can be sometimes!! **hugs** to you- if OK.

Mandy

I'm so proud of you for sticking w/ your boundaries. It's not selfish at all. You did the right thing. You need to put yourself first then when you have leftover resources, that's when you can help others. Something I learned from my T.
Love,
RhysMadison

Kimmy,

By keeping this boundary clear you are reaffirming your right to stay strong and keep undue hassle out of your life. The mother and her issues are just that her issues! I am sorry if she is so petty to allow her relationship with her gs pass by due to her own selfish issues.

You are not selfish! Selfish people do not do things for their best intersts. They just do things because they don't ever want to bend to another. You are someone who knows what compromise means and how to do it. This is not a situation to compromise in!

You and little man have a wonderful relationship. His being hurt by not have gm time may seem sad in this moment but in the larger picture it is better for you to establish and keep this safe boundary with the mother than to make sure the mother gets her way with little man while continuing to treat you poorly. Bleh! No thanks!

You are so strong to be doing this KD. I believe in you and the little man!!

KD,

I am so incredibly proud of you for this! I know how hard it is for you to set boundaries with your mother. I am here for you any time you need to talk (((((((((((kd))))))))))))) You know where to find me hon



Angela

(((((((((((((((((((( KD )))))))))))))))))))))))) Love Ya much
I'm very proud of you for taking care of yourself. And remember that's what you have done here. You know what your limitations are and you stood up for yourself.

((((((((((((((((((((((((kimmy)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

((((((((((((((((( eva )))))))))))))))))))) thank you! i just "did it" for so many, many years too. i hope that someday you'll be able to know that you're worth listening you your own needs above hers. you are , ya know we all are.

thank you again,

kd

((((((((((((((( angie ))))))))))))))))))) yes, t said that when i started holding my own with her, there would be hell to pay and she would stop at nothing to "get me back". it's so hard, but you're right, i'm listening to my own advice...mainly for the baby. if i don't take care of my needs first, what can i be for him???

thank you, dear,

kd

thank you ((((((((((((((((((((( kerria ))))))))))))))))))))))))))

kd

((((((((((((((((((((((((((2be1))))))))))))))))))))))))))) you can do it babe! i started out very slow as well and fell back into all habits lots! you'll get there!

thank you!

kd

((((((((((((((((((((rhys))))))))))))))))))))))))) thank you so much for reaffirming what my t has said to me so many times.

kd

((((((((((((((((((((((((((zh)))))))))))))))))))))))))))) thank you. you're right, she's very selfish and self-centered.

thank you again, because my biggest fear is being like the mother

t is adamant about me protecting little man from her as he gets older.

thank you again!

kd

(((((((((((((((((((( angela )))))))))))))))))))))) thank you! that means so much to me!

kd

(((((((((((((((((((((((( monty )))))))))))))))))))))))))

thank you, sweetie. i'm so proud of you too! i love you much!

kd

((((((((((((((((((((((( fury )))))))))))))))))))))))

we're not arguing. we don't argue. she gets angry and shuts us off...that's it. i can't demand an apology because she'll never give it. she never recognizes herself as doing/saying anything wrong. she doesn't have the capability with her disorder to feel guilt, fury. she's ill.

i will continue to be myself and pray that it pays off thank you so much!

kd

thank you ((((((((((((((((((((((((kindbear)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

kd

((((((((((((((((kimmy)))))))))))))))))))

I think you're doing great, withstanding your mother like this. That's cool.

I'm sorry this happened. You don't deserve it. You keep taking care of yourself and your little man.

You're in my thoughts.

(((((((((((kimmy)))))))))

I'm sorry your mom is being difficult. It sounds like that stress test is needed for her! Maybe it'll make her realize how upset she's making you by her actions and words.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((kim))))))))))))))))))))))))

Kimmy, I have some extra rat poison. Oh my, I am not serious but why do the parents torture us so?