Overwhelmed

Fox · Sep 17, 2009, 06:00 PM

Had an appointment with the T today. Next one will be monday cause she didn't have any openings next Thursday and the Thursday after that she'll be in workshop. She thinks I might be autistic now because my sharing with her the proof that I don't just dissociate but also have alters is almost obsessive since it's been all I've had time for the past three sessions, but it feels important for me because self-discovery is why I'm seeing her. But oh wells maybe I'm autistic I dunno. I don't really know what to think.

I got a book from borders called The Dissociative Identity Disorder Sourcebook. Has anyone here read it? Is it helpful for them? I read part of it on the way home and there's a chapter about questions to ask when looking for a T that I find particularly helpful.

I'm completely overwhelmed by the thought that I'm going to lose my T now because I ran out of insurance today. . . I think. Got my pay stub today and the money was taken out for my dental ins. but not health. So now I'm going through the feelings of abandonment even though the separation's not necessarily real yet, I know it's going to happen though. It was because of insurance I had to switch T's right when we were starting to touch on past abuse which now since then I'm not sure even happened cause I don't remember any of that stuff now. This T now is still trying to take things slow, too slow in my opinion because I knew I was going to run out of insurance soon. I think I might've used it all up because of being sick with bronchitis actually :\

I don't know what to do. She suggested I called American . . . something. . . they work with mental health patients and help them find affordable Ts and jobs and what not and sometimes will even help pay for therapy. But I'm too expressive of myself and too smart I think because they usually help the severely mentally disabled ones. I don't remember what they're called though now.

My tummy hurts and my head hurts and I feel like I'm going to throw up I'm just so overwhelmed. . . I need a hug

ADHD1956 · Sep 17, 2009, 06:21 PM

Fox My Dear Friend! I Wish YOU Well!!!

kris9999 · Sep 17, 2009, 06:34 PM

((((((((((((((((((((((( Fox )))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Sep 17, 2009, 06:50 PM

Fox
I have that book and it is very helpful.
Things must seem out of control/frustrating right now. I'm sorry you have to go through that.

Fox · Sep 17, 2009, 07:00 PM

Thanks guys. I keep wanting to cry and I feel stupid and Calista's right everything's out of control. I don't even know where to look for a good T. I don't have many options since I live in a rural area

I don't know what to do. And it doesn't help that I have a very real phobia of calling people on the phone.