 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Sep 17, 2009, 08:22 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I'm not really sure what my problem is right now... Actually I do know what my problem is. I'm having such a hard time accepting my DID some times. I accept others with open arms pretty much, but not my own. I've spent so much of my life trying to make sure I live in the "real world" and convincing myself that all of the things that happen to me (seeing, hearing and feeling things) can be scientifically explained. Not through a dx of a mental disorder but some other reason.
I've been trying lately to accept my dx and see things for what they really are... Seeing the voices, blackouts, noises and feelings as part of the DID and schizophrenia. Some days I accept this but some days I don't. Even after and alter comes out I still sometimes have a hard time accepting this. I've always tried to ignore the "strange" things that have happened in my life. I've always tried to cling to others idea of reality in hopes of not losing my self and not going absolutely crazy. Now that I see that DID isn't crazy at all, I'm still having a hard time letting go of the part of me that is afraid. I found myself last night (I believe after an "alter" came out) slipping back into the denial part. Telling myself "This is never going to work. You will never be able to accept it and you will never be able to give up your hopes for a 'normal real life'". I accept and love my "alters" but at the same time I feel I will never be able to willingly give over the body and go into a place unknown to me. This is my purpose for therapy. To be able to co exist with the others. But every time I try there is always the idea in the back of my head, the denial. I don't know how to over come this! I don't know how to accept my DID and stop being so afraid when I know there is nothing to be afraid of! Will someone PLEASE help me? Tell me how you accepted your DID? Any kind words, any hopeful words or advice in any way? |
|
#2
Sep 17, 2009, 10:35 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hi Kris. Accepting DID is always very hard. It is denial. It is very normal to do this. Almost everyone does.
The part of you that may be afraid is the little girl inside that is not an alter. We all have a child inside us. That is why you feel the way you do when the alters leaves. Again all quite normal. Take care. |
 kris9999
|
|
#3
Sep 17, 2009, 10:38 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Thanks for your comment! I know it's common to be in denial but hearing it makes me feel less... I don't know the word but I guess pathetic... I don't accept something that was given to me as a gift so I feel pathetic... Right now I am in defense mode for my alts so I'm not in denial any more but I know once the defense mode goes I will be back in denial again
|
|
#4
Sep 17, 2009, 11:33 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
My strongest suggestion is to give yourself permission for this to take all the time it needs. I think many of us go back and forth with acceptance and denial. This isn't a common coping mechanism.
And whatever caused us to have to grab at this way to survive is scary and produces fear. It sounds like you are really doing pretty good. Up and down, back and forth is just part of the deal. One day at a time is all we can do. Some strong days and then some confusing days. It's all OK! Judy and Company
__________________
However confused the scene of our life appears, however torn we may be who now do face that scene, it can be faced, and we can go on to be whole. |
| Elysium, kris9999
|
|
#5
Sep 17, 2009, 03:43 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
|
| kris9999
|
|
#6
Sep 17, 2009, 10:02 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Acceptance is difficult and takes time and a lot of therapy. It took me a long time before i was able to read any books on D.I.D, but when I did I found it strangely comforting. There are two I have read.......Fractured and Broken Pieces. Sorry, I cant remember the authors. Be patient with yourself. As my T so often says to me..........."You dont have to work it all out now".......Take care.......L
|
| kris9999
|
|
#7
Sep 17, 2009, 10:34 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Thanks for all of your support everyone! It means a lot to me! Especially right now... Myself and the others will get through this denial in time... I've just never been a patient one lol
|
|
#8
Sep 17, 2009, 10:50 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
We aren't very patient, either!
BUT, we KNOW things'll work out soon! Hugs, (Webber)Erik
__________________
"We don't have a problem with us, the world does." ~(Webber)Erik @~~~%~~~ |
| kris9999
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
