[WePow]

Yesterday I found out about an alter that we had "disolved" durring major healing work. This was a good thing! But today we learned - well I as host did not realize - about a very angry alter who lives in the basement level of our internal house. The door is always shut and the room is small and blood red in color. My protective alter took over and kept him inside and locked the door again. I didn't even know that there was someone in the room even though I felt it... just could not bring myself to go down that far. Now I wonder how I could have had him there and not known about it!! Am I just imagining this new alter?

[(JD)]

Not knowing is part and parcel of the disorder from which you suffer. Memories deemed too horrible to keep in the conscious mind are stuffed and stored away from it. (Even though sometimes the memories are only horrible for the young child experiencing them, and not so horrible to an adult mind viewing them. Sometimes.)

That you are now "allowed" to know about this alter adds to the fact that you are progressing in your healing. Don't worry and don't fear this new development.

Don't push to find out either. Remember, going slower allows you to move faster through healing in the long run.

[WePow]

Thank you very much for your reply. I have indeed made it clear that there are certain individuals within who are not to come out until host is ready. Host does not understand this, and so I have my work ahead of me in the service of defense.

[possum220]

Alters come out when they feel safe..... My host is getting used to somethings. Mostly at this point when the alters come out she is in the back seat of the car. I am learning to breathe, but am also learning that if an alt has something to say it easier to let them get it out so I can get in the front seat again.

When I am used to who I think is there, a different voice comes out. I had a angry/ forceful one come out first, then a strong voice, then a really soft voice has come out a few times. I cant make that one louder at all. Sometimes I wonder if my T can even hear it. Then there are kids. but they are very well hidden. These voices have all first come out at different times. I dont doubt that there might be more, but I will deal with that If or when it happens.

I think the kids voice is/are quite strange - but then they all are really.

My T seems to recognize the angry voice as a hurt voice and he isnt judgemental and doesnt react. So it was safe for that to be one of the earlier voices to come out.

It is a strange journey of discovery that we are all on. Sometimes we bump into yukky and strange things and scary things... But I have gotten used to the voices and the other little quirks/tics.

Be patient, try not to worry too much. Its just another part of you that feels safe enough to say hello again.

take care.