[Fox]

How did you find out that you have DID/MPD or any of the dissociative disorders?

Is it unusual that I'm discovering myself and others inside without the help of a T? In a way though for me, everyone here is my therapist. I mean, if it weren't for you guys I would have never come to realization that I have these alternate personalities in myself. I want to hear your stories if you're comfortable and willing to share.

[Miracle1986]

I actually have a diagnosis. I have discovered all my insiders myself.

[whiteNight]

Originally Posted by Manda86

I actually have a diagnosis. I have discovered all my insiders myself.

then you are lucky to have had a T that actually believes in the disorder unlike Foxs former T and her friends who keep denying the existence of the disorder

not everyone can be as lucky as u

[Elysium]

My T and I had been working together for about 5 years. We were aware that I had complex PTSD and co-morbid depression...and that I had some dissociative experiences. Then...last November, all Hell broke loose in my life and stress level, which was high at the time...pretty much tripled.

Was going along with life...but still felt so broken and nothing T could say or teach me about made me feel any less broken.

One day in February of this year, when I was on the computer....I was looking for research on complex PTSD...looking for answers...I started to watch some YouTube videos to help myself relax and all of the sudden all the voices in my head started introducing themselves to me. Some told me names...some just gave ages or roles that they played in the system.

I freaked!! I thought I was losing it and crazy for sure. I started researching psychosis and finally googled something like "voices inside head" and it took me to a site that discussed dissociation and DID/MPD.....

Literally at that moment....everything made sense to me....in a really scary and creepy way.

I was so scared to talk to my T about it....afraid she would laugh...kick me out of her office...yell at me...or worse, hospitalize me that I literally couldn't bring myself to tell her what I was experiencing...plus a couple insiders were telling me to keep my mouth shut.

I ended making a short video for her regarding my experiences and what was happening. She watched and she found a specialist in DID and the DD's to do some testing and some interviews with me. The day I went to meet with this doctor....I thought for sure that I was crazy and that there was nothing wrong with me and that I was a goon for thinking I could even possibly have DID....but I ultimately was diagnosed that day.

It was weird......the sense of my life being over at that moment combined with this really weird sense of relief at the same time.

Now, I see it as a blessing....Now things make sense....and I do not feel as lost as I used to before coming to understand this disorder.

Hope this helps you on your journey....

[Elysium]

Originally Posted by whiteNight

then you are lucky to have had a T that actually believes in the disorder unlike Foxs former T and her friends who keep denying the existence of the disorder

not everyone can be as lucky as u

Hi WhiteNight....

I don't think luck has anything to do with having a T or friends that do or don't believe in the disorder. The luck...the real blessing is that our minds have been able to adapt in this way to help us cope so that we may live through the horrible things that have happened in our pasts.

My hope is for Fox to find a T that will validate her experiences and help her come to understand her system. As far as the friends....I don't expect my friends to understand because thank the goddess for them, they never had to experience this. It is a hard disorder for us DIDers to get our heads around. It is probably a million times harder for those who are not graced with multiplicity....and it is as scary to them as it is to us.

And sometimes....friends will choose not to understand it...because it's easier and less scary than facing it.

[Miracle1986]

Originally Posted by whiteNight

then you are lucky to have had a T that actually believes in the disorder unlike Foxs former T and her friends who keep denying the existence of the disorder

not everyone can be as lucky as u

Oh my gosh... I am sooo sorry! I actually meant to write I DON'T actually have a diagnoses. Darn typo!!! forgive me.

[whiteNight]

I do not have DID but I have been working extensivly with people here that do and as I learn more I am able to help more. As I help fox, the obsticle right now is to have support in knowing she has DID since Fox does not have anyone to diagnose her right now. ( I for one can verify that Fox does truly have DID because I have worked with Fox's alts and from my experience working with Doll's alts I understand.)

and I forgive you Manda, it did sound a bit harsh without the dont ((((((hugs)))))))

[turquoisesea]

I'm not sure what I would be diagnosed with as far as dissociation,
For me I've always been co-concious with any parts so it was a bit easier than for most of you guys for me to figure out was going on - the fact that I was watching, or in some cases the memories would flash back to me upon switching back in (I wouldn't be aware until I came back, at which time I got a flash of what had happened and how I got where I was, and therefore was filled in). I was already part of PC and so when I started to experience these things I dropped on by here and talked about it. I still don't know what I'd label myself and I went through HUGE denial. But here I am

Fox, I don't think it's "weird" that you are finding out on your own. I think that is the case with so many people. It goes at its own pace, and it's up to you to figure out what to do with the knowledge you have learned.

[WePow]

For me, I always had couple of internal people who kept me company and told me stories and helped me figure things out. I would ask other kids in grade school if they had people inside their heads that were like mine. Oh boy did that get me into trouble!! Anyway, when I went to college I was able to see a counselor there because a teacher saw signs of my struggle and also blanking out (later I learned the state is a stuck state and not epileptic after brain recording while it happened). But that counselor could not make a DX but told me he thought I needed to see a T when I was able to afford one after college because he saw me with multiple personalities. I was actually driving to other states and not knowing how I got there or where I was!

This year I found a T who is a certified psych senior examiner. He IS qualified to make DX and such. After 10 sessions I point blank asked him if it was real DID or if I was somehow tricking myself or something. He looked me in the eye and said "You have Dissociative Identity Disorder." .... So I know it is real and can't try to trick myself into thinking it is just my imagination.

I think it is important to have a good T who knows about DID.

[anderson]

Originally Posted by Fox

How did you find out that you have DID/MPD or any of the dissociative disorders?

Is it unusual that I'm discovering myself and others inside without the help of a T? In a way though for me, everyone here is my therapist. I mean, if it weren't for you guys I would have never come to realization that I have these alternate personalities in myself. I want to hear your stories if you're comfortable and willing to share.

I am the odd ball. I was placed in foster care as a child with server MI issues but we got the last laugh because our foster mom was mpd(this was not known to the state at this time) but I am not surprised that you get valadation here. the mential health community is still divided on this issue.so you will only find acknowledgment from those that have it and truely dealt with it good luck.

[possum220]

mmmm. I don't really have a moment in time when some-one said that I had DID. I probably did but don't remember it now. Originally the voices got labelled as something else. (Which I don't want to got into).

I can now see that current actions and voices are a result of DID. They are too strange to be anything else. I kinda knew that something was wrong from when I was very young but I just kept on getting fobbed off. grrrr.

Sorry I know this post doesn't make much sense.