Another day.... TRIG WARNING PETS!

TRIG WARNING PETS!

Well, I let angry alter Mick have her requested "face time" with T today.
She talked about when my mom ran over our dog - after we were shouting at her to stop the car! And she did it anyway. That feeling ... urrrrrr.
It was hard because Mick went into flashback mode with feeling that sensation. And wishing it was an abusive parent under the wheel instead.

Anyway, Mick has BPD as well and at the end of session, T said he was honored she / we told him about this. Mick called him a liar. She did it because he asked at the start of session if he had missed anything because he missed one email we sent. He is kind enough to let us even send emails. But Mick latched onto that at insists now that T does not care at all - which is not the truth. Oh and we brought a small stress ball for him = just for the room for others including us to use in therapy if needed - a handheld one. But he said it was not a gift to him. He is right to say this and we logically know it, but Mick latched onto that and then I ended up with a solid punch to the jaw when I got home from her. She is 15 and full of a lot of rage. She said I deserved it for ever trusting him at all. And I was stupid to trust any T or any person after what we have seen in life over and over and over again. Maybe I did deserve it.

I am feeling very lost now. We took the hope stone T gave us that meant the world to us and put it away in a dresser. We had carried it with us since it was given to us. Now there are thoughts going on... just so exhausted with all of it. The whole thing. Every single part. And we just don't know anymore why we even try. Sorry this is a downer. It will be ok... it always is... but had to vent and looks like this is the one and only space I have any trust in at all anymore.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((wpowers and Mick and everyone else in need of hugs)))))))))))))))))))))

((((((((((((((wpowers)))))))))))))))

Thank you all for the hugs and much needed support last night. Today T made a way for me to see him again. And Mick got to vent. It was amazing that the anger was so deep and pain. Anyway, T is amazing! And we got things worked out on the inside and all that. :-)

{hugs wp} I'm so glad that things are working out again. Your T sounds like an amazing individual albeit human and imperfect like us all.<3

Fox - thank you. And thank you again for being there for us last night. The pain Mick has held is so deep. T got to see it for himself. And he kinda gave us a sideways hug which was WONDERFUL!!!! It was his protective way when we were leaving... and I think he may have come into the office just for me!! There was no one there before me... and I got there early. And he left when I did!!! Yeah - he is a true blessing in my life.

oh yay for a hug! and double yay for him possibly coming in just for you that is super special. {sends tons of safe warm hugs}

sorry when I saw pets in your subject-line it took me long time to build courage to read...

We had a breakthough with our teen this week too. She felt we defended her for a change instead of her taking care of, well, lets just leave it there.

but lots of care and concern for you Wpowers

Hunny, thank you for reading my post even with pets trigger. And a big hats off to you on your progress with your teen alter too!!!!! It really is wonderful when after all the work we folks do with the DID issues, we finally get to see progress in real time!!! YIPPIE FOR US ALL !!!

glad T helpd an it got beddr. so sorre abowt u dog. sooo meen. we los owr favrite kitty to poison. jus cant feel da pane is 2 deep insid, but we kno it wuz awful. wi peepls do such badness to da ones day spos to luv? is 2 hard 2 unnerstan. ok byby

leli an kiki

((((wpowers and Mick))))

Thank you for sharing. I have to admit it took so much for me to come here and read. And I passed this post many times scared to read. We have seen many things with animals and with our own pets given and taken. It is so sad and hard to take it all in.

I am so proud of you all. I thank you for sharing this part of yourself with us. It means so much. I am sorry it was so hard for both of you and for what you are going through. It takes so much for just ourselves to trust out-a-long a part that was always hidden and never reached out before.

I think Mick and you are doing awsome work. I feel honored to be a part of PC and sharing this with you. It is encouraging to us all even in the midst of all the struggle. Thank you for trusting us and sharing this with us all.

Please take care you yourself and all within. I know you are but just wanted to say it. I do care and am here for you. For us we have not been able to face this stuff as of yet. But you are showing us it is possible. Thank you.

Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps