flash back to 77

1977 graduate highschool but not in person.
"Mom" marries him and I get no house key. Garage sale dress to the wedding is it good do I lok nice.
him You wearing THAT? ok so im ugly .
come home late and I sleep out with my wonderfull dog. Beautifull Hillary means cheerfull according to the sun chart, Start brown bagging it on the highway straight gin Im tall enough to get no proof.
takes away my bank passbook my money from waiting tables in a miniskirt since 14. Ill teach you how to handle money. get the 3 thousand from the insurance from getting hit by the car. reached my majority. 6 months of their marraige and how much she hates how he is in bed- i dont want to hear it mother- I get me a rented room. working and he sees me coming a mile away. hes twice my age. move in with him. moneys gone he's got a new suit. wheres the rest"?
gave me a gift of a scalpel if your going to cut your wrist do it right and not that direction.
This guy who i end up married to him and his biker buddies move all my %#@&#! out in the van into my new freinds apt. That other one got the virgin but not me.
he went off looking for his long lost daughter and she stabbed him to death. wasnt charged with anything so it was probably self defense. served him right .
so i guess we're supposed to get married so we do only I dont. Do what you have to do newlyweds and i'll be over there smoking a cigarette. call me when its over.

Kathyanita, I can imagine and guess what you are trying to say. It sounds like an incredible nightmare to me. It seems like it must be hard for you to get the language to wrap around the experience? I am so sorry. I wish I knew more so I could understand better.

i'm reading you. there is much pain and matter-of-factness in your words. i'm sorry for the experiences. i wish it weren't so. i'm glad you talked.

be safe,

kd

didnt cost me a thing

that can be a good thing. maybe the pain i felt was my own in reading? you're candid post reached deep inside. i wish those deep inside could express 1/2 as well as you do.

best,

kd

hahaha something to be said
for being mute good one

something i rote? thats another one.

mute in one life; a written voice in another...
one dying; one reaching out to grab onto a means of survival...
no pain that pleads otherwise
my life: different and same

It's good that you can share your past. Thank you for trusting us. Big hugs to you.
Love,
RM

my "past" is pretty brief and sporadic. . .thats what I got but i guess thats a lot of missing tine before and after. why shouldnt I trust to put it there and we can read for ourselves what went on right?

sounds like a plan, to me. tc

oh yeah there was the abortion - which we had no real choice. it was leagal anyway so i did not break mans law but who knows what punishment you get later, i dont want to know until it happening. no one knows either,

NOT such a good idea or "plan" in the end .
pretty stupid .

i got part laid out in creative forum, part here and my Dad and part laid out in greif and loss. where else can i scatter? and still have a mind?

toss it out the car window doing 80 and i cant see out the windshield cause of crying on my eyeglasses

this stuff really happens. check out the Associated Press report from Ponchatoula Louisianna. They got nabbed.
I should say its about a cult sex abuse ring so its a trigger!!

Kathyanita,

I don't know what to say. Just wanted you to know I read what you wrote and I understand. I believe too.

Take care.

place