[justdontknow]

Hi everyone,

I need your advice. Our host Cris has now been gone for almost a week. She has NEVER been gone for more than 2 days. She got kicked out of college and so she had been working very part time (like 6 hours a week). I have been going to work for her since she has been gone and last night her boss offered her a full time position. I accepted it for her. I am not sure if I did the right thing. She really needs the money because we are running low on funds. She does not have insurance and we need counseling so she pays out of pocket (he is a really great counselor and is giving her a discount because she is paying for it completely on her own). Since she needs the money, I thought that the full time job would be a good thing. But also she is dealing with all of us. DID can be a full time job sometimes. I think she can do this, but I understand why she did not have a full time job before. She is having a difficult time dealing with mental health issues and it takes away from her ability to concentrate and be a good worker. I hope I did not set her up for failure, but I also know that she needs to stay busy or she gets into deep depressions that she has a hard time coming out of. Do you think I did the right thing? What should I do about this? I guess I am just looking for reassurance that everything will work out and be ok. Sometimes I just want to scream and cry, but right now I have to hold it together for everyone, especially the youngers/littles. What do you think?

Faith

[genn]

Si entendi bien ella trabaja 6 hrs semanales. y han estado en problemas
economicos. Le ofrecieron un trabajo full time y aceptaste.

Siento mucho lo que le ha pasado a Cris. fAith, creo que lo que has echo es de lo profundo de tu corazon... FAith, aunque tu hallas aceptado el trabajo ,es ella la que debe tomar la desicion final... No se si al estar estudiando a tiempo completo se le asigna el seguro estudiantil. Ni se por cuanto tiempo fue la suspenscion, pero le greguntare luego.

Yo trabaje siendo DD por muchos anos, es ahora el que no puedo continuar trabajando. La decision esta en manos de faith, quizas podria compartirlo con ustedes y llegar a un acuerdo. Se que todo esto afecta a todos sus temores y el no saber si lo hecho es lo correcto.

Cris lamento mucho lo que ha pasado, estas en mis pensamientos

genn(host)

translation


As I understood she works 6 hrs per week. and have been in economical trouble. She was offered a full time job and you accepted.

I'm sorry what happened to Cris. Faith, I think what you did was from the depth of your heart ... Faith, though you accepted the job it is she who must make the final desicion ... Not whether to be studying full time is assigned the student insurance. Nor how long was the suspension,? but then I will ask

I was DD and still worked for many years, is now I can not continue working. The decision is in the hands of Cris ,she might wish to share with you and agree. I know all of this affects all your fears and not knowing if it is done right.

Cris very much regret what happened, you are in my thoughts.

Faith you did what you think was better for the system .
don't feel bad.

genn (host)

Originally Posted by justdontknow

Hi everyone,

I need your advice. Our host Cris has now been gone for almost a week. She has NEVER been gone for more than 2 days. She got kicked out of college and so she had been working very part time (like 6 hours a week). I have been going to work for her since she has been gone and last night her boss offered her a full time position. I accepted it for her. I am not sure if I did the right thing. She really needs the money because we are running low on funds. She does not have insurance and we need counseling so she pays out of pocket (he is a really great counselor and is giving her a discount because she is paying for it completely on her own). Since she needs the money, I thought that the full time job would be a good thing. But also she is dealing with all of us. DID can be a full time job sometimes. I think she can do this, but I understand why she did not have a full time job before. She is having a difficult time dealing with mental health issues and it takes away from her ability to concentrate and be a good worker. I hope I did not set her up for failure, but I also know that she needs to stay busy or she gets into deep depressions that she has a hard time coming out of. Do you think I did the right thing? What should I do about this? I guess I am just looking for reassurance that everything will work out and be ok. Sometimes I just want to scream and cry, but right now I have to hold it together for everyone, especially the youngers/littles. What do you think?

Faith

[krazy_phoenix]

(((((((((((Faith)))))))))))

Good luck with finding Cris.

Our host has gone walkabout too. Has severe depression so is a good thing. We put her away safely once some months ago now for her own and our children's emotional and mental protection, now she just checks out at the drop of a hat, for weeks/months at a time. We are all mostly ok with that because she is still pretty messy. But by the same token, we are all aware that she won't get better hiding away. She still hasn't put her hand up as our host, but we are all sure she is and we don't like to have anyone awol.

Anyway, good luck again with Cris.

kp

[crazyglue]

Faith, it sounds to me like you have a lot on your shoulders. You are trying so hard to be a care giver and that is so hard. It feels like everything is always plopping down on you. Does Cris like the job? If I could talk to Cris I would say I know how it feels. I was put on probation in school and barely made it out. It is really tough to deal with all that goes on inside. It is a huge responsibility to take care of so many. And that is why only some of us have DID. We are a special group of very strong people who are incredibly intelligent. Maybe Cris wasn't persuing what is really in he/r heart and if the two of you could talk about it maybe there is a way to achieve that. I went to nursing school. I worked for almnost 15 yrs as a nurse until one day I left a note and ran out of work crying. I didn't know it then, but it was the best day of my life. I wanted something else. I was taking care of all of us, I didn't want to put the world in front of me anymore. I wanted to give some of that energy to us and that is what I did. And I found out we love houses! I have returned to school and recently passed the state exam to be a home inspector. Yell out Cris! I love you! And I don't want you to feel alone. Tell Cris you aren't mad or disappointed and that all of this, no matter how big is fixable. I hope this helps. Sometimes we do have to yell a little, but I try to yell nice things, like "I love you! Thank you for all you do for all of us!" when I can't think of what to say.

[anderson]

Faith by taken this job you are protecting the whole. We all take daown time but I understand the hesatation of taken another job in her stead but the way you all talk you have a working relationship and we would rather error in over protecting the body then not at all. those in our body have never turned down a job if it was to the greater good of us all. We hope things calm down enough for her to feel more comfortable on the out side.

[WePow]

Faith... it is always easier for your host to quit the job if it is too much than it would be to find a full time job had you turned it down. So under the situation, you did the exact right thing for the whole. My Elaine alter reminds me of you. She has worked for me before when I was not able to do it. She even attended college courses for me when I could not do it. That was interesting to say the least!! Having people come up to you and tell you that you are in their study group and you don't have a clue that you are even in that class can really blow a host's mind!

My only advice is to please write stuff down in a journal.
That way when your host returns, all the details will be there and nothing will be missed. Makes returning a whole lot easier.

[justdontknow]

WePow,

Thank you for your response. It is always helpful to know what others have done and gone through. I know what it's like to go to school for my host. I did 1 1/2 years of high school for her and I have done some of her college course work for her. Totally understand that! We do have a journal that we keep as a log and Cris finds it helpful when she returns. That is a really great suggestion. Anything else you think might be helpful, I am all ears. Thank you again.

Faith

[Hunny]

Faith

How wonderful that you are being so helpful!

It is so much what is happening to us here in some ways, however we have no knowledge of who our host even is, although we do have a narrator and verbal communicator and I s'pose, since we began on PC, we have discovered a typist can read and get through to most parts, hence the ability to post.

Maybe there are some teachers, instructors, professors and others like mental health professionals reading the responses here. One hopes they take it to heart for the sake of those of us under this umbrella.

Genn, you are so gifted and talented and I so appreciate you. You are such an encouragement too.

Just wanted to add that, Crazyglue, your post just had me in tears. To think you climbed that mountain and are moving forward after all of what you went through gives me such a boost of energy! We too were all caught up in the wrong type of work for a creative so we modified things drastically to accomodate all of us. Still not at goal yet and we be getting pretty tired but trying not to give up, hence the boost is timely from this vantage.

All-in-all, I agree, Faith, that pitching in to help the whole is what to do but keep trying to figure out what the true work is supposed to be, as well. The earlier we find out the less that is a problem later too.

Cheers,
Hunny