[fadedspirit]

We are told that we play a dangerous game.
We pretend to live in the present, an illusion that we create, where everything is ok and where very little bothers us.
We are told that we would be locked away.
If we told the dark thoughts and scenes that run rampant through the veins of our spirit.
We are made fun of and mocked.
When we genuinely care for a situation or another's needs, because of where we have been in the past.
We are ignored.
When other see our weaknesses, our hurts, and the confusion that we carry.
We hide from the world.
Not because we fear it, but because it enrages us with its backward human natures (speaking of society in general, not meaning all humans).
We are told that we play a dangerous game:
Because we are like a chameleon most times. Fitting in where we need to and keeping silent and out of sight when we know that we cannot fit into a certain situation.
Because of what we feel inside.
Because if our thoughts were known to others, they would deem us unfit to dwell in a society of people.

We know our truth and we carry it inside us every second of every day.
Almost always we are mistaken when we share us, because so many others think that we are tainted and misguided and twisted inside.

Our heart breaks with each one that carries pain.
We hear the tears and voices of so many hurt by others in our sleeps.
We feel the joy and the warm hearts and smiles when something goes
well for others.

But for us, the best that we try to do is never good enough for us.
When all goes well and we reward ourself with smiles and laughter, it's only a stepping stone for us because we know we can do much better than we do.
The pains that we bear make us cautious to the point of not liking those persons that we don't know in spirit.
We trust not even ourself, because of the pain that we have endured.
We cannot be what others would like us to be and for that we create our illusion of fitting in.
For us, the past has never happened, but it remains in our thoughts and in our heart and we pass harsh internal judgement on others that provoke our anger. Yet we will to forget, but to no avail, so we hide it.
When at last we open to one we believe that we can identify with, they see us as cold, harsh, unhuman, dark, and rash.
Perhaps we, our parts, have been in agreement too long and refuse to see or understand what we need to let go and heal in a new way. Perchance, we may be dreaming, caught up in our own twisted dream. At this point, we are unsure.
Why we are posting this, we don't know. Maybe we wish to know if there are more like us, or maybe we are seeking advice for something we don't understand. At any rate, it helps us to type out what we feel from time to time. Thanks for reading if you've read this far. Sorry if we offend, offence isn't meant.

[anderson]

No Spirit you gave no offence. In truth in your words We see the same pain that we feel. There was a time when we felt that those that we trusted accepted us as we are but when those that wish to make the public believe that we are nothing more then fragments of imagination or memiors of past abuse it is hard to find and Oasis that will allow us to be who we are and not force us to be what they choose to make others believe we are. You can talk with us. We are slowly starting to believe that this burden no longer has to be carried alone.

[pegasus]

(((((((((( fadedspirit ))))))))))))

[anderson]

Spirit, Those of us are dealing with the issue of having trusted a group of people and having that trust broken because they choose to believe in a group of people that choice to discredit us by useing the choices that I made out of fear againts us. To someone that has not exsperanced living under the pressure of finding the path of less abuse to keep self and child free of physcaly harm. This has no meaning to them.
It is the memoir of those people that were willing to accept us that helped us endure for so long. As to those that found a way to hurt us but use the desgise of helping us. They were wolfs in sheep clouthings. The glass ceiling of bigotry in truth hurts us all even those that clam to want to help must learn to see things as they really are and not judge a book by its cover. A cover is only as good as the cover designer and if the artist will not trully read the book then how will that person truely be able to help you see what the book is about. Since I/We have our own story then please do not worry about the fact that I will judge you by its cover. For I/We know that there is more to you then the cover you choice to wear.

[fadedspirit]

Thanks ((((anderson)))) and (((((pegasus)))).

Maybe it's just the tears that we can't cry that makes us this way. Sometimes we wonder if we even really touch the earth anymore.

[Hunny]

Spirit:

Your words hold onto places in my mind and heart that make them seem so familiar yet not perfectly clear, kinda like a
'safe zone', revealing pain and sorrow but also joy and life. From such deep levels, that if it was as plain as a photograph it would be way too much for us to bear and so you protect us. It is okay. We wait to hear your words and yourself oozing from the past to be present here in the present day, more present than the most present person could ever be.

You are so compassionate and kind and caring and if that is what comes bubbling from the interior and we are the recipients then I am grateful to know you, Little man...and all.

With care,
Hunny

Originally Posted by fadedspirit

We are told that we play a dangerous game.
We pretend to live in the present, an illusion that we create, where everything is ok and where very little bothers us.
We are told that we would be locked away.
If we told the dark thoughts and scenes that run rampant through the veins of our spirit.
We are made fun of and mocked.
When we genuinely care for a situation or another's needs, because of where we have been in the past.
We are ignored.
When other see our weaknesses, our hurts, and the confusion that we carry.
We hide from the world.
Not because we fear it, but because it enrages us with its backward human natures (speaking of society in general, not meaning all humans).
We are told that we play a dangerous game:
Because we are like a chameleon most times. Fitting in where we need to and keeping silent and out of sight when we know that we cannot fit into a certain situation.
Because of what we feel inside.
Because if our thoughts were known to others, they would deem us unfit to dwell in a society of people.

We know our truth and we carry it inside us every second of every day.
Almost always we are mistaken when we share us, because so many others think that we are tainted and misguided and twisted inside.

Our heart breaks with each one that carries pain.
We hear the tears and voices of so many hurt by others in our sleeps.
We feel the joy and the warm hearts and smiles when something goes
well for others.

But for us, the best that we try to do is never good enough for us.
When all goes well and we reward ourself with smiles and laughter, it's only a stepping stone for us because we know we can do much better than we do.
The pains that we bear make us cautious to the point of not liking those persons that we don't know in spirit.
We trust not even ourself, because of the pain that we have endured.
We cannot be what others would like us to be and for that we create our illusion of fitting in.
For us, the past has never happened, but it remains in our thoughts and in our heart and we pass harsh internal judgement on others that provoke our anger. Yet we will to forget, but to no avail, so we hide it.
When at last we open to one we believe that we can identify with, they see us as cold, harsh, unhuman, dark, and rash.
Perhaps we, our parts, have been in agreement too long and refuse to see or understand what we need to let go and heal in a new way. Perchance, we may be dreaming, caught up in our own twisted dream. At this point, we are unsure.
Why we are posting this, we don't know. Maybe we wish to know if there are more like us, or maybe we are seeking advice for something we don't understand. At any rate, it helps us to type out what we feel from time to time. Thanks for reading if you've read this far. Sorry if we offend, offence isn't meant.