[Lillyleaf]

My T said that I wasnt DID nost likely and that I am propbebly just depressed and that it might not even exist as an diaorder.

[WePow]

((( lillyleaf ))) You have to find the truth of YOU for yourself. Even the experts are sometimes very wrong. I am sure that some of them who have not been as abused as some of us on Earth could not comprehend how DID could be formed as a natural response to un-natural conditions.

If you feel you have alters, try to find a DID therapist if you can do it.

[AtreyuFreak]

If she's hesitant to believe that DID even exists, you're definitely talking to the wrong person! If DID is what you're struggling the most, then someone who doubts its very existence can't help you at all in dealing with it. Very sorry to hear this; invalidation (especially from a therapist) is devastating.

In my opinion, the only person who can tell you whether or not you have this, is you. No therapist can know exactly what we're going through, no matter how much we try to make them understand. They're not in our head (though we sometimes think they are...) and they don't experience our lives for us. All they can do is piece together their professional knowledge with our personal experiences to try to come up with an answer. They can easily be wrong.

Please don't let this get you down. If it would help, get a second opinion. In all areas of medicine and health, a second opinion is never a bad thing.

Take care

[Elysium]

Unless you have had the proper and appropriate evaluations and testing done by a T who specializes in Dissociative Disorders, I would take what your current T says with a HUGE grain of salt.

DID definitely exists. The Earth IS round, not flat, and Dinosaurs existed WAY BEFORE 12,000 years ago.

But seriously, I understand wanting to have an answer to what you are experiencing, but I don't understand why you seem to feel so disappointed that you wouldn't be DID? I myself would give anything to NOT have DID. To NOT have alters. To NOT have to break down all the inner walls and have things come rushing back that my mind has buried for good reason.

I am proud to know that my mind was capable of coping and getting me through...but it's definitely NOT a disorder I am excited to have.

[Hunny]

Lillyleaf,

You are in my thoughts and prayers. Be strong and courageous.

One of my first presenting issues was (postpartum) depression, so depression may just be the beginning of a list of things that you encounter along the psychological journey, or, if it is depression alone, then so be it. Now I am speaking from the DDNOS point of view here, I might add.

Whatever the case, do something really special for yourself this holiday weekend, something you really love and is healing, because you deserve it! What makes you feel the most happy?

Love,
Hunny


.

[justdontknow]

Lillyleaf,

We are so sorry to hear that your T does not think that DID exists. There are T's out there who specialize in Dissociative Disorders and have experience specifically with DID. We would suggest finding a different T if you can. There are parts of you who have become friends with parts of us and we cannot tell you how much that means to us. Krista really loves playing with Meek and it has been such a blessing for her to find someone that she can relate to and have fun with. She was badly abused and it has caused her to be depressed a lot of the time. Since she met Meek, she has been happier and loves life. We are sure they both would be devastated if Meek went into hiding just because some ignorant T told her she didn't exist. Please know that we are all here for your support and we love you in a very safe way. Lots of good thoughts and hugs if ok. Krista says hug hug hug for best friend Meek.

C et al

[anderson]

(((((((Lillylief)))))) You are wanted!!!!!! Here!!!!

Personal Truth can come at a high price. Even when it comes in the form of taken a stand for who and what we are. Regardless of what your T says you are welcome here. But remember this person does not walk in your shoes or resides in your mind. I was diagnose and treat for MPD/DID in my youth but when I came to this town and went to TGC for help to reintegrate After a server abusive situation re-fragmented us. It became clear that to me that they were only humoring me/us until one day I/we was told that if I continued this path that my son would be taken from me and given to my birth family which is totally vile. Now if this body was willing to take abuse for both men and women to keep our son from them. What does that tell you of how all in this body feels about them.
We are not telling you to disregard what this T person is telling you but to remind you no one can truly know you in just a few visit. You are very much likely depressed from what is going on in your life but that also comes with being a survivor of server abuse as a child. Many T’s refuse to accept the spiritual side of mental health issues. So please be aware of the fact that if you do time share with another part inside your head, It does not mean you are crazy it means that you have a coping mechanism that no longer serves its purpose and that you need to debrief and help those with in heal.
Regardless please do not leave here. You are wanted here and you do support those here to.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Lillyleaf

My T said that I wasnt DID nost likely and that I am propbebly just depressed and that it might not even exist as an diaorder.

did the therapist come to this conclusion after doing diagnostic testing or is it just her opinion.

I can see how she would make this determination. Depression does have a variety of dissociation symptoms that are shared with DID. theres a lady in the depression group here that does not have DID but during her depressions highest points will hear voices in her head, experience black outs/time loss, erratic behavior and moods that could be misconstrued as being a switch into an altered personality.there are also some therapists who refuse to believe in the DID diagnosis unless there is diagnostic testing to back that disorder up. My therapist has had to go to court many times because some of her DID clients have gotten in trouble with the law, DHS and abusers claiming false memory syndrome induced by a therapist. my therapist refused to acknowledge it in me until I had testing done.

If its her opinion let the therapist know how you feel. if you feel you do have DID tell her politely thank you for her opinion and ask her to refer you to someone who does diagnostic testing for mental disorders.

but keep in mind it might be depression with dissociative symptoms but not enough to be DID.

in my opinion its a good thing not to be DID. I'm integrated now so technically I'm not DID any more. I'm just me with depression, anxiety and dissociative symptoms and I wouldn't change that for the world.

[pegasus]

((((((((( Lillyleaf )))))))))

It's very disheartening to be told by an 'expert' that they think DID does not exist. Complete rubbish of course. Some do not believe in it. Of course DID exists but it is quite rare and there are certain things you have got to have been through in order to have full blown DID. But the spectrum of DD disorders is huge, dissociation certainly exists. You ask anyone who has seen a car crash whether they remember every detail about it and they won't recall it all. And the simple action of driving a car, everyone dissociates at some point even just for a few seconds. So, yes dissociation exists but diagnosing actual DID is difficult and you need a specialist in this area.

Now it is very possible you also have depression as many people with DID have other diagnosis going on aswell, infact it's quite rare just to have DID alone.

I suggest you look into getting a second opinion.

Take care.

[Lillyleaf]

she doesnt even know me we met twice

[Luce]

Some Ts just don't believe in DID, period. I've been to one of them - it sounds like you have now, too. If you do have DID seeing a T who doesn't believe in it isn't going to help you at best, and will most likely be very damaging for your system.

Keep in mind that her disbelief in your DID is not about you at all. It is about her training. I know it feels so very invalidating to be told something like that, but remember she is only working with what she knows, and she simply doesn't know enough to help you. I saw a T who didn't believe in DID for a few months a few years ago, and it just wasn't worth it. I felt like every time we switched (it wasn't often as we knew it was 'unacceptable' there, but sometimes it just couldn't be helped) she thought we were faking it. It was incredibly invalidating, and a total waste of time. I gave her a lot of information and research about DID and DID therapy, and she didn't even bother to read it. In her mind it didn't exist and that was that.

In a way it's like a Christian who is having spiritual issues trying to seek help from an atheist. It just doesn't work. I don't have much faith that this T will ever be able to adequately support you. It's okay to chalk this up to experience and find someone who understands and knows how to work with people with your particular issues.

[wanttoheal]

((((((((((((((Lillyleaf))))))))))))))) I'm sorry you are struggling right now. I think it might be very hard for them to diagnose at such a young age as 14 but it's definitely worth trying to get mental health testing done to see what's going on. Perhaps you can ask your T or school counselor about it?

I often wonder how different my life would be now if I had been able to get the help I'm getting now back then. For me, everything was too much about secrets though I think and even at this age, telling secrets is a struggle. It wasn't until a more recent trauma/crisis happened that things started to fall apart for me.

Hang in there and just be truthful about what goes on for you. It will all get figured out as it needs to. Take gentle care. Life can get better.

[possum220]

Dearest Lillyleaf,

Don't give up until you feel like you have been heard. You may or may not have DID. Like wanttoheal said it will get figured out as needs be.

Personally I would seek out another professional and find one that you can feel comfortable with. Not every professional suits every person.

I have been diagnosed with a few things over the years even being schizoid. And I even saw a DID expert who didn't think I was DID either. I didn't trust this him.

I continued to see this DID expert and I was going no-where. Trust really is the key in counselling. Anyway I saw another P'doc for a second opinion and it was like I could breathe again. Eventually the other parts started talking and trusting.

All is not lost Lillyleaf there are seasons when things are ripe and seasons when it is winter. Keep the faith, we are here on the journey with you.

[Lillyleaf]

thank you all I know it is her training but it still hurts how her training bipasses me and what I need. but thanks I feel better now

[possum220]

Back again Lillyleaf.....

Do you feel a sense of connection with your T? Many T's do not have experience in this area like Luce said. You do not need to defend her lack of training.

Please just try get a second or third opinion until you feel at peace with your T. Trust me, you will know when you click with a person. It really is worth the search...... and so beats wasting years with a person who doesn't get you.

Take Care

[justdontknow]

That is so true possum. It took us 13 years to find our counselor and he is wonderful! Not trying to discourage you Lilly, just trying to encourage you not to limit your options (therapist-wise) and to not give up. The right T is out there for you, you just have to find her/him. Keep looking and hang in there. Krista wants me to tell you that she loves Meek too much for you to be stuck with a crappy T. I don't know if that made sense, but oh well. Take care of yourselves.

Cris et al

[Kiya]

i remember my t (one of many t's) telling me i was fractured and had "inner children". i was already beginning to wonder about DID. I knew that when T said some things - i'd suddenly be a kid who thought she was an adult and T said my eyes sparked. or that when t asked about another (named) "inner child" I coulnd't drive home because 8 yr olds can't. see?
so i asked her if i was DID and she said absolutely not. because her definition of DID was vastly different. I had to stop working with her because she was making things worse for me by calling my "non-alters" by name and pissing off others.
since then, another therapist aand a PsyD have officially diagnosed it in me.
just goes to show, eh?