[justdontknow]

I am so frustrated right now. It seems like I have been crying for 3 days straight now. My eyes are swollen and I have a headache from you know where. I am sick of people being so fake about their care and concern. I just want to shake them and say, "It's ok if you don't care. Just don't pretend to because it really hurts me when you do!" I am tired of other people not respecting my boundaries. I don't care how much you think I am hiding something from you. It doesn't give you license to go rummaging through my stuff looking for evidence that I am mentally ill. I already know that. I am sick of being called a liar. It seems like the only people who believe me are my forum family here (all of you who are reading this post and who support me) and my counselor. I am sick of trying to keep up the "life is great!" facade. I just want to scream that my life sucks right now and I wish people would either just leave me alone or quit telling me to "snap out of it". If people really did care, they would listen to me and what I have to say without passing judgement and without trying to control me. If my door is shut, it is for a reason. That does not mean just open it and come in whenever you feel like it. I really am trying my best and I don't know how else to do things. Everything that I am supposed to be doing, I am doing. I don't know that these medications are helping but I still take them. I am so frustrated right now and again I am crying. I don't post on the forum too often, Faith and Krista post a lot though and sometimes Mason. I just needed to get that out. Thank you for listening.

Cris

[Jewels]

((((((((((justdontknow)))))))))))

[anderson]

We totally understand that. That is when we find a spot that we can sit and rock our selves. For the simple fact that we are all doing the best we can in a world tha is just not ready to accept us as a whole their are good people here it is just them having the ablilty to come forward to hel us. But until then Know that we are here and sending you safe hugs.

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((Cris))))

Thank you for posting. You do make sense and we understand. It hurts when others do not listen and do not believe you. And when they say "Snap out of it", that is so not okay. Don't they think that if we could we would. This is not fun and it takes a lot of work. You are doing a great job of saying what you need to say.

Trying to keep up the facade that life is okay can be very draining, especially when it is anything but okay. We did that for many years trying to keep everything just perfect so no one had any idea what we were holding or that we were holding anything. We would smile and say we were alright when we were anything but. It is okay to be just who you are. You do not owe anyone. Sometimes we have to just take care of us because if we do not do it no one will.

Please know that we do care and we are listening and hearing you. If you need to take time for you then that is okay. We are here to listen and support you. Please take care of you. You are important. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

[Hunny]

I even find that some of the parts don't accept the others inside, at least, at first.

It takes a great deal of time and effort to sort it out and then to be able to lovingly let others on the outside know, some never will never 'get it', others have a great deal of empathy and acceptance.

I pray for peace for your members and the gift of time for all, internally and externally.

Love,
Hunny

[justdontknow]

Jewels, Anderson, DPS, and Hunny,

I thank you all for your support and comfort. Hugs are almost always a good thing, thank you. It really feels great to have people who understand me and what I am going through. I really respect and appreciate my counselor, but he will never know what it is like to live with DID. You all understand and know first hand what its like because you've been there. You are doing it. Thank you. Hearing the validation that my feelings have been felt by others and others agree with me is especially helpful. Sometimes I feel as if I am alone and no one would ever understand, but then you all say the nicest, most helpful things that confirm that I am wrong in that thought. There ARE others who understand and know! Many times someone will post something that will touch my heart. It will ring true and touch me in the deepest parts of my soul and mind. At those times, I feel as if I am home. This has truly become a sanctuary for me and I always draw comfort in the fact that you will all be here cheering for me, supporting me and giving me the strength that I need and most desperately desire. Thank you all.

Cris