[writingwithink]

Why would T suggest an architectural enhancement that creates a “special space for the kids”?

[Hunny]

Writing,

You mean like an internal building/house? I think that is what you can do in order to keep all together and for various other reasons. Perhaps check and see if this is what he meant.

For me we first sat at an huge oval table then realized the hive would suit all the insiders best and the fact that a house would not work for me. It was way too scary.

Hunny

Originally Posted by writingwithink

Why would T suggest an architectural enhancement that creates a “special space for the kids”?

[writingwithink]

Originally Posted by Hunny

Writing,

You mean like an internal building/house? I think that is what you can do in order to keep all together and for various other reasons. Perhaps check and see if this is what he meant.

For me we first sat at an huge oval table then realized the hive would suit all the insiders best and the fact that a house would not work for me. It was way too scary.

Hunny

Thanks for the response, Hunny. We already created a "safe place" for everyone to hang out, and T helped with that through guided imagery. But she suggested a special place for the kids that they can use as needed (a room that they can create themselves, color themselves, and fill with whatever they want). She said that as things come up, they may need it.

I know I'm asking for an answer that she already gave me; I guess I'm just looking for validation or for something that doesn't indicate potential pain. Maybe what I'm looking for is to hear what others experienced as forgotten things came up.

[justdontknow]

Writing,

We made a special space for the kids because they needed a space that was especially for them, a place where they could feel and be safe. We put all the toys, stuffies, books, crayons, colorbooks, art supplies in that room and it has become their sanctuary. They call it their pirate ship because they often play pirates in there and have converted a great portion of their room to being a ship complete with wheel, anchor, deck and mast (small one). It has been a great addition for us and all the littles love it. That's why we made ours. Perhaps your T is talking about something like that? Maybe ask for clarification at your next appointment. Good luck with the add-ons.

Faith

[Hunny]

Oh, okay, gotcha. Yes, definately, a physical place. I have a little antique doll crib that is filled with miniature stuffies. It sat in my living room for a number of years and my grandchildren loved it too. I love children's books and so have plenty of them in my bookshelf and as far as art items go, I have a bag of art supplies that I can take in the car or use sitting anywhere. I have stuffies that decorate my bed and are my comforters at night and I have grandchildren so there are plenty of toys. I buy a few toys that I can have on display because they look like collector things but they really are, you know for the children.

I didn't buy everything at once. They arrived as needed by each part. have fun Writing! Because it's one of the best parts! Kind of felt strange at first but got easier over the years.

Cheerio,
Hunny

[writingwithink]

Originally Posted by Hunny

Oh, okay, gotcha. Yes, definately, a physical place. I have a little antique doll crib that is filled with miniature stuffies. It sat in my living room for a number of years and my grandchildren loved it too. I love children's books and so have plenty of them in my bookshelf and as far as art items go, I have a bag of art supplies that I can take in the car or use sitting anywhere. I have stuffies that decorate my bed and are my comforters at night and I have grandchildren so there are plenty of toys. I buy a few toys that I can have on display because they look like collector things but they really are, you know for the children.

I didn't buy everything at once. They arrived as needed by each part. have fun Writing! Because it's one of the best parts! Kind of felt strange at first but got easier over the years.

Cheerio,
Hunny

Thanks for the response, Hunny. She meant an internal room. Sorry for the confusion.

writing

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by writingwithink

Why would T suggest an architectural enhancement that creates a “special space for the kids”?

those of us in training to be therapists are trained to ask the client with DID to create an internal special place for the children because usually the DID client already has an internal system that they may or may not be aware of that includes protector alters, alters that deal with emotions, alters that deal with certain situations, care taking alters.

Along with the make up of their internal system of alters there is a way in which the alters separate their shared and unshared information from each other (alters) and between the alters and the host (client with DID).

This automatic internal division of sharing and not sharing of information between each alter and between the alters and the host is called by many names. Walls, Rooms, Houses, apartments, Room dividers, planets, Realms, Castles, Fairylands, Lobby, lego land, Music land, the cake factory.. kids name their internal worlds many things based on what they feel safe with.

Eventually what happens is through therapy the client and therapist learn about the clients internal system of alters and how information is shared and not shared by use of these internal divisions.

In cases where the internal system is not known to the host we suggest to the host that they create their own internal safe places. This give the host a sense of being a part of the internal system and it also give the host a sense of control over their chaotic life. By creating an internal safe place for their self and their known alters they now have a way to self nurture when they feel out of control, feel unsafe, feel they need some down time.

We also suggest creating their own internal safe place because in a lot of cases what the host presently imagines to be a safe place for every body ends up being what their internal "walls, Rooms, Houses, apartments, Room dividers, planets, Realms, Castles, Fairylands, Lobby, lego land, Music land, the cake factory.." system of divisions between alters and between the alters and host turns out to be. Knowing what the internal structure is helps to facilitate co consciousness when the time comes and in some cases integration.

We have had cases in our work, and case studys to read about, where the host's present safe place turned out to be vastly different than the automatically created system too. When this happens its a bit more complicated to facilitate co consciousness but over time and discovering what the actual internal system is like co consciousness can happen.

From a personal point of view I loved the idea when my therapist suggested it. I grew up reading books about people who had "Den's" and "Parlors" in their homes and all I had was a shared bedroom with many brothers and sisters. I went all out. My partner and I located and rented a house so that we could set up a room for my partners hobbies and a room for my hobbies, my special room. Then I would go in there and sit and imagine what my internal world would be like. My consciously created world turned out to be vastly different than what my actual internal world was, but it sure was fun to do and created a sense of safety and order to my life.

[anderson]

We special place for the kids inside and out. That way they can have safe time in both areas. Our inside safe place is like the holo deck on startrack. That way everyone can have fun doing what ever they like. We also have a safe room with just toys and arts and craft stuff in there. It just depends on what the littles need to do to deal with what is bothering them. But now we have stuffies and the blankets of eeyor that the littles snuggle with to feel safe. And like Hunny said each one in time will have thieir ouwn speacial safe place or toy. Good Luck and safe hugs from all of us.