[shatteredmirror]

I know this is going to end up rambling into non sensicle. Usually
just read, dont post often, have hard time putting things into words,
and just reding things here have really helped, thanks to all. So
far have realized have eight others i am aware of, and T says he has
seen some (that i didnt know about). Its like i/we are always
sabatouging ourselves. Get hopeful, then blow up, lose days again.
Dont deal with little stuff at all.

guilty about everything, paranoid, scared. Afraid another part will
take over again and god knows what will happen. Last time i ended up
cross country, with no idea how or why or anything in between.
Family doesnt see anything 'odd' about my lousy memory, thats its
normal. so the only one in RL i can talk to is T.

while we used to all get along quietly for the most part, now its
like, everyone wants out, even the kids who dont talk or stutter.
Blanky has re-appeared again.

It really feels like we are just going totaly nuts. Understand that
this is a 'normal' part of TX, but that doesnt change anything. I
just wish things would be over. dont know who i am anymore (not that
i ever did). dont know what part of me is me. does it even really
matter?

i'm 47, and by the time we get ourselves together, i wonder if it
will be worth the time spent to do it? on the other hand, parts of
us say YES.

Sorry so long, just needed to air out a little, i guess. i hope at
leat some of this makes sense some where. Like is just like a big
storm passing through with heavy fog right now.

Shelley and the zoo

[__zh]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
shatteredmirror said:dont know what part of me is me. does it even really matter?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> oh yeah we echo that today after tx. nothing to apologize for as the length of your post is just long enough to convey your information to us all. to keep with your description of zoo we hope you have good food and fresh bedding for the whole zoo tonight.

air out and air away Shelley and zoo....the storms do pass. your knowing that this is part of tx and not a easy part is an enormous part of the struggle. you're ahead of the game even if it doesn't feel like it.

[shatteredmirror]

thanks __zh for listening

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((shatterdmirror))))))))))))))

you made perfect sense! i so understand what you're saying! you explained my experience so well.

i understand the fear of losing time. i understand the fear of things happening that you don't remember or know about.

i do think it will be worth it! it's already becoming worth it for me. i think it will for you as well.

how long have you been seeing t? it sounds like you have a great relationship.

be safe adn well done!

kd

[shatteredmirror]

KimmyDawn: thanks, only been in Tx about a year now. And yes T and I do well together. I kinda surprised him though, he thought i was PTSD, be we were only waiting to see how much we could trust him. He is ever to patient sometimes though, drives me up a wall. but i trust him more each time.

[kimmydawn]

you sound so much like me! i have a male t as well. my original dx was PTSD as well. however, he took quite a while to dx with DID for a variety of reasons.

i'm so glad that y'all have such a wonderful t.

hey, if you don't feel comfortable posting in public alot, please done hesitate to pm me. we sound much alike. i'm now moving ahead in bounds and leaps it seems.

i think we would have lots to talk about.

be safe and i'm so glad to have read from you.

kd