[Hunny]

This is just so encouraging to read. I actually had not read this blog before. I know not everyone can afford to have a therapist so I do appreciate PC and some of the other helps available.

It was mentioned in the resources above:

http://discussingdissociation.wordpress.com/

50 Benefits of Having a Therapist

1. To have someone encourage you to love and accept yourself to the point that you can truly live, without focusing on death and needing to die
2. To have someone in your life that will make it ok to not have to dissociate away from your real life
3. To have someone to bounce ideas on, to problem solve, to explore new behaviors
4. To have someone to talk to about deeply private and personal things
5. To have someone who can genuinely hear your pain, and sit with you when you are hurting
6. To have someone who can give you their undivided attention, their best listening ear, even if for a specified period of time
7. To have someone who gives you courage and hope to keep going, even in the darkest moments
8. To have someone who provides a gentle, safe environment for the healing of your deepest wounds and painful memories
9. To have someone who repeatedly offers positive emotional support and encouragement
10. To have someone who sincerely believes in you and your abilities, talents, and accomplishments
11. To have someone who truly sees you as a good person, a worthwhile person, a valuable person
12. To have someone who will address the variety of issues that underlies the mental health difficulties in your life.
13. To have someone who will build a relationship with you, willingly connecting with you, no matter how badly you feel about yourself
14. To have someone who will challenge your thinking and cognitive distortions
15. To have someone who will connect the dots of your dissociated life experiences
16. To have someone who will encourage you to be comfortable becoming your very own self
17. To have someone who will encourage you to build a life based on your strengths instead of the life your abusers may have designed for you
18. To have someone who will encourage you to try new things and to stretch your horizons
19. To have someone who will expect you to honestly work on your issues instead of blaming others
20. To have someone who will foster your leadership skills, job skill development, educational opportunities, etc.
21. To have someone who will genuinely accept you, warts and all
22. To have someone who will have the courage and ability to tell you “no”
23. To have someone who will hear your heart and the depths of your soul
24. To have someone who will help to remove the jagged edges from your life
25. To have someone who will help you build a tolerance and acceptance of others
26. To have someone who will help you create personal safety, both inside and out
27. To have someone who will help you find and connect with your very best self
28. To have someone who will help you to build the ability to tolerate and sit with intense emotions in yourself and in others
29. To have someone who will help you to contain the extremes of your behavior and feelings
30. To have someone who will help you to emotionally grow, develop, mature
31. To have someone who will help you to move past the blocks, walls, and black holes
32. To have someone who will help you transform self destruction into self acceptance
33. To have someone who will hold you accountable and responsible for troublesome areas
34. To have someone who will hold your secrets with you
35. To have someone who will listen to you, and understand your point of view
36. To have someone who will look for the positive in each and every one of your insiders
37. To have someone who will make it safe enough for you to express your true feelings
38. To have someone who will offer encouragement and support, even when its tough
39. To have someone who will offer guidance as needed
40. To have someone who will offer opportunities to explore trust, acceptance, compassion, kindness, gentleness, patience
41. To have someone who will push you to move forward, instead of sitting complacently
42. To have someone who will recognize family dynamics and their impact on you
43. To have someone who will remember what your insiders say, especially when it is too difficult for you to retain it
44. To have someone who will set appropriate limits and boundaries
45. To have someone who will sit with you while you face your deepest fear, shame, guilt, horror
46. To have someone who will sort out conflict and disagreement
47. To have someone who will stay with you, even when you expose your worst self
48. To have someone who will talk to your inner parts, even the ones you are afraid to speak to or unable to speak to
49. To have someone who will teach and model new behaviors, and healthy emotions
50. To have someone who will team up with you in your healing journey

True therapy is so much more than a sequence of techniques to address trauma, or emotional containment, or cognitive distortions, or dissociative separation, or destructive behaviors.

Therapy happens with real people, between real people. Therapy is a healing process. It touches many levels of life. The emotional depth of true healing is founded in the solidity of the therapeutic relationship.

Unfortunately, your trauma and abuse happened at the hands of violent, hateful, destructive people.

Fortunately, your healing will happen within a caring, accepting, compassionate relationship.

We thank the people at PC for this caring, accepting, compassionate support.

.

[Hunny]

Thank you PC DD Forum for supporting...

More to come...


Hunny

OMGosh where do we find one of those?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?! that seems like such a fairytale fantasy that wont ever be available to us

[Hunny]

(((((( TrinityDancer ))))))

You deserve this kind of therapist as do we all or perhaps even better.

It also is a reminder to all of my parts that when someone has many of these 'traits' working for me on my behalf that I need to care for myself as much, if not more.

At age 19 I did not have this kind of therapist, he actually abused me. This therapist also introduced me to my husband. I can only say that this experience of meeting my husband via him, is at the present time, causing me to feel very disturbed and crazy and that is probably why I reposted this thread.

It wasn't straight forward but it wasn't until 20 years later that I was able to find therapist(s) that had these 'good traits' and that is where I was able to reveal this information. Probably that is why I am bringing the thread forward for myself too and for others who may want it. I only wish things had not happened that way. I want it to go away, be different, disappear, etc but instead I am finding I have to say that he groomed me and set me up and I really feel badly used and even unclean. I try to find the two sided coin in these events but it will take a bit more work. In order to get healed the list of 'traits' above remind me that NOW I care about me and I never have to let it happen again and I can have the strength to turn the situation into a winning one for for me.

I also find that many of the 'traits' listed are in those people here on this forum and I am eternally grateful for their support.

Please don't give up hope of finding someone TrinityDancer. They really do exist. Also, I hope it doesn't cause envy at all TrinityDancer but shows the intensity of care we all deserve. I know I have received very much in the way of healing from past traumas but I do not remember in this case 'how' this healing happened in my cognitive mind. Now this bothers me. I don't know if I am a part or what! I am trying to figure out why if the feelings are stronger I cannot actually remember what that connection was. I think I was put somewhere, if you know what I mean.

I am not saying that my therapists have all these traits or even most of them but it is my way to address or write about my current issues and remember. I wish I could speak about them is a less round-about-way or deal with them with more clarity but I hope to someday.

Respectfully
and with safe hugs,
Hunny

.

we started a thread in the psychotherapy section about being jealous of your counselors other clients. but there is sooooo much more behind that question that we dare not talk about right now due to our cores memory loss. someday though we want to be able to tell the story all about what this one counselor has done for us,to us and potentially destroying us. we have no hope anymore but must keep ourselves in check for now. thank you for being our friend.

[Hunny]

((((((( TrinityDancer )))))))

I am with you TD as are many others. It's gonna get better.

She is not clear yet but hopefully pretty soon. I am dialoguing with her as much as possible but I have been pretty sick today. In bed all day with a bad cold.

Hope to talk to you soon.

Hunny

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((Hunny))))

Thank you for sharing that post with us and for reminding us what we all deserve as we walk on this road to healing. Though the walk is hard and long with many turns and twists in the road, having someone to which we can talk to and express ourselves to openly and honestly is something to be grateful for.

Therapy is not easy and it is not something that all have. Our therapist is one who contains qualities you wrote about and we are very thankful for that. Our team are those that carry those things for us too.

We walk here amongst many all walking this road together willing to listen and accept us for who we are as they are accepted for who they are. PC offers hope to us and to many in a way that touches deep within where many times we have shut down and hidden. Many here give that connection that otherwise would not be.

We have been so blessed to come here and to be heard and listened to many times when it felt as though the world did not notice or could not hear. Maybe sometimes the world does not have that ability where the connection can be made as they have not walked in a place where understanding resides.

We are truly blessed by our friend who has all these qualities, who listens and hears. Knowing that gives us hope in an otherwise blacken place at times. We are so grateful. I think caring for ourselves might be the key to being able to accept those that step into our lives. But that is not always easy and many times cannot exists until we begin to trust ourselves and to see beyond that place that starts out holding us blind to any truth.

Many within this forum carry these traits and give so much of themselves to listen, support, care, encourage, accept, and love. Maybe because so many know right where we are for they have been there walking themselves. Knowing what someone is saying and connecting in a place a commonarity gives an understanding and hope that maybe never existed.

So thank you for reminding us of what we deserve and that we can many times look right here among the post and those walking here and feel those very things, but that we can also get to the place where we can look inside ourselves and begin to accept what has been there all the while but buried beneath all the lies and hurt.

Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

[anderson]

(((((TO ALL)))))
WE like this post because it tells of everthing that we have found here.
We did have good T in the past but the good ones are truely few and far between. Now that we are finely able to be true to our selfs with out fear. We are crying more often but now it is from the grief of living in a way non of us would have choosen had we too had those type of Therpist in our present day life. Thank you PC WORLD!