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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2004
Location: South Central Kentucky
Posts: 1,557
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Jul 13, 2005 at 07:53 PM
#1
I went out tonight and bought make-up for the first time in almost 15 years. I have no idea if I even bought the right things. But for some reason I wanted make-up. I don't even know if I'll be able to put it on. I haven't looked in a mirror since I don't know when. For some reason I thought I could handle using the compacts mirror to put it on. Feel guilty for even spending the money on it. I spent all of $10 on 2 things and I have the money right now to buy something. But I still feel so guilty to buy myself anything. Just like I'm not worth the trouble or something. I spent an hour in wal-mart walking up and down like deer caught in headlights. I have no clue what I was even doing. But I wanted it, it made me feel kind of special.
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2004
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,526
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Jul 13, 2005 at 08:08 PM
#2
Congrats on spending money on yourself! I know how you feel though. If I spend any money on myself I immediate feel guilty.
Enjoy your make-up! Way to go! __________________ “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~ Maya Angelou Karma is a boomerang. Trying to read 52 books in 52 weeks. See how I'm doing |
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Jul 13, 2005 at 09:15 PM
#3
This is great news Monty!
You did this for yourself! I know how difficult it's been for you lately... Congrats! Petunia |
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2004
Posts: 1,465
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Jul 13, 2005 at 10:11 PM
#4
Monty,
It is ok to spend some time and money on you. You deserve a bit of "feeling kind of special". There has been enough of not feeling special in your life, I would imagine. I would have no clue what to buy. So I can understand the deer in the headlight thing. Remember that little steps get us where we want to be. Keep taking them ok? Take care. place __________________ Hello 
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2005
Location: Official Thread Killer of PC
Posts: 3,714
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Jul 14, 2005 at 10:20 PM
#5
This is a GOOD thing a step towards self esteem...keeping up looks is GOOD......If you have a Walgreens by you you can get a 5x magnifying mirror for like 7 dollars to help you see better when you put it on..I am HUGE make up fan...
BTW, what make up did you get ? __________________  |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2004
Location: South Central Kentucky
Posts: 1,557
19 9 hugs
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Jul 15, 2005 at 09:54 AM
#6
TY 1day, it's really hard for me to spend any money on myself. I come from a very poor back ground and we never had extra money for anything. Even as an adult my husband and I have had our share of money problems. But now I've been working for awhile and my husband is working right now since it's summer and he's not in school. So I have the money to spend on little things. But the guilt that comes with it is sometimes hard to take.
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2004
Location: South Central Kentucky
Posts: 1,557
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Jul 15, 2005 at 10:03 AM
#7
TY Petunia, It's been very hard on me lately. But sometimes I think the small things I can do for myself to make me feel better about myself, is well worth it. One of the biggest things I have always struggled with is feeling and believing that I was ugly. As a kid I was teased by the other kids and laughed at and told how ugly I was. It's hard getting past those negative massages that keep rolling through my head telling me I'm ugly. Buying make-up made me feel pretty.
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2004
Location: South Central Kentucky
Posts: 1,557
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Jul 15, 2005 at 10:11 AM
#8
Place, I'm taking baby step. Ty for the encouragement. Sometimes the small step are the biggest. Make-up is overwhelming for me. Like I'm not worth the trouble. But small steps.
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2004
Location: South Central Kentucky
Posts: 1,557
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Jul 15, 2005 at 10:18 AM
#9
Hi ButterFlies
Self esteem is something I always struggle with. Seems to be something I don't even like to talk about. It's like something that is so far out there that I just can't get. If it's make-up or even the clothes I wear it's hard to deal with. With clothes I've fallen into the "I'll just put this on" and not really care about how it looked. Just as long as it was clean I didn't care. I'm starting to get past that and look at what I'm putting on. Guess this is all small steps to self esteem. __________________ Back, I've lost months, months ! |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2004
Location: South Central Kentucky
Posts: 1,557
19 9 hugs
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Jul 15, 2005 at 10:42 AM
#10
Forgot to tell ya what I got ButterFlies. Had a brain freeze. I got (reading off the case here ) a Fresh complexion pocket powder foundation. Thought I couldn't make to big of a mess with this. And I got some eye shadow.
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Veteran Member
Member Since Sep 2004
Location: US
Posts: 495
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Jul 15, 2005 at 11:01 AM
#11
Yay!!!!!! Way to Go!!!!!! You are special and deserve it!!!!
The first time I spent money on self was one of the hardest things to do. Practice! Practice! I learned to tell myself I deserve it. At first saying those words I literally felt sick to my stomach and like I had a rock stuck in my throat. It's a lot easier today to buy something for me. Now my debate is do I really need it because now it can be more of like a drug for me and when on a budget can be not so good. Seems I always go from one extreme to the other (rolls eyes). Oh well! Sorry didn't mean to ramble on just happy that you took that step and wanted you to know it will get easier with practice and learning to believe you deserve it. lrks |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2003
Location: Coram Deo
Posts: 35,474
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Jul 15, 2005 at 11:05 AM
#12
Good for you! There is NOTHING wrong with this at all. Now to wear it! For myself, I find the more depressed I become, the more I work at getting some makeup on... to hide maybe? I'm glad you've had the "high" that comes with doing something good and okay for yourself.
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: ohio, us
Posts: 15,446
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Jul 15, 2005 at 11:12 AM
#13
((((((((((((((((((((monty!!!!!!!!))))))))))))))))))))))
what a milestone! i've known you for almost 4 years now, and this is one of the proudest times! i know how hard that was! way to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! baby, steps sweetie, baby steps. this is progress in so my ways! love ya, kd __________________ 
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Jul 15, 2005 at 02:22 PM
#14
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
One of the biggest things I have always struggled with is feeling and believing that I was ugly. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Aww, Monty. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. I too, have the uglies. I barely look in the mirror most..okay.. all days. <<<<<< But I see you looking all green and bendy over there. You sure look beautiful to me. Petunia |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2005
Location: Official Thread Killer of PC
Posts: 3,714
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Jul 16, 2005 at 02:43 AM
#15
Too cool now you are a swan.....What color shadow? and do you have eye liner and mascara...maybe a gloss with some color...If not go to Walmart (man I would be a bad influence on you) and you can get inexpensive Rimmel make up...maybe all 3 for under 10..I know the glosses are only 1 or 2 dollars.
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font> Monty_girl said: Forgot to tell ya what I got ButterFlies. Had a brain freeze. I got (reading off the case here ) a Fresh complexion pocket powder foundation. Thought I couldn't make to big of a mess with this. And I got some eye shadow. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> __________________ |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2004
Location: South Central Kentucky
Posts: 1,557
19 9 hugs
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Jul 16, 2005 at 01:05 PM
#16
Ramble, Ramble, Ramble, it's all good !!
Oh the sick feeling. I would put something in my cart then take it out. Then put it back in. See where this is going.  Took a long time to talk myselves into saying that this was OK to do. Oh and I practiced last night. i went to the Duran Duran concert and I bought myself a T-shirt and a mouse pad. When I went to the concert in march I didn't buy anything because I didn't feel like I should spend the money. I left the concert in march feeling really sad because I didn't buy a T-shirt even though I had the money then. But last night I wanted it. They have always been my favorite band and meant the world to me in my darkest times. I wanted something of their's. I walked up and laid my money down and said that one. I feel so happy to have my T-shirt and my mouse pad. Feel like a regular person. __________________ Back, I've lost months, months ! |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2004
Location: South Central Kentucky
Posts: 1,557
19 9 hugs
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Jul 16, 2005 at 01:10 PM
#17
TY Sky
Hey I've worn it too. I'm not used to this "High" of doing something good for myself. But I really like the feeling. Think I should have it more often. 
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2004
Location: South Central Kentucky
Posts: 1,557
19 9 hugs
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Jul 16, 2005 at 01:12 PM
#18
(((((((((((((((((((((( KD )))))))))))))))))))))))))
Love Ya's, this much ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Hey Girl I'm Steppin out in style. 
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2004
Location: South Central Kentucky
Posts: 1,557
19 9 hugs
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Jul 16, 2005 at 01:18 PM
#19
Yeah Petunia, all I have to say about mirrors is ..............ekkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. People say I'm pretty now. But I still see myself as that ugly girl with the buck teeth that smelled. Low self esteem has been the norm my whole life.
But I'm cool and green. Gumby is a nickname I picked up in middle school from my sister's friend. Gumby is cool cause he gets flattened, but can bounce back up into shape just like that. __________________ Back, I've lost months, months ! |
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Jul 16, 2005 at 01:28 PM
#20
((((Gumby-Monty)))))
Gumby has a special place in my ten-year-old heart... Sad but touching. Maybe I'll write about it! Petunia I hate mirrors. I HATE having my picture taken...lots of bizarre things I avoid. I also avoid the reasons behind those phobias but that's for another day... |
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