[Hunny]

This latest time of unraveling and going to a deeper degree of the trauma has resulted in a couple of things that I don't recall happening before, one of them being physically sick. Although I have had deep, deep, deep inner spiritual revealing and healing this time through my art, I am ill with something I have never had before called sinusitis and it went so far as to affect my memory and my thinking.

I know this sounds minor but because I couldn't think straight (as straight as I am used to) and I was unable to make good self-care decisions, like going to the doctor and stuff. I have since been to two clinics. Now I don't think I was near death but I had a temperature and aches and pains and lots of congestion in my head. I thought the heat/temperature was related to menopause so I didn't pay to much attention to it, thinking this too will pass as it usually does but it was never ending and that started to concern me the most I guess. Then I thought maybe it's age or something and I just never went to the doctor. Finally all those around me who had had a cold etc started to get better and I was really getting worse. But, I noticed my body felt sort of okay it was from the neck up, even my teeth started to hurt and my breath smelled bad. I thought I was dying. Now there have been times lately when I've thought that wouldn't be such a bad thing so I thought maybe this is just the thing. But, something or someone zapped me out of this sort of inward despair type thinking. I got a job interview but so far they have not made a decision. I thought about my grandchildren needing me and even my grown-up children. I thought of the artwork that brought me through the recent flashback of the trauma, along with one of the therapists lending me a book on art therapy for trauma. You all wouldn't believe this piece of artwork! It just speaks of so much!

The prospect of therapy based on what I have to do next was enough to send me to the place that says: "this is too much, I cannot do it".

So, someone lifted me up and I will guess to believe it is my spiritual Director and those here who pray and those therapists who pray because i didn't connect for awhile here. I still was unable to write of this trauma or of these experiences till now. I slept so long under this illness that I have not been able to function beyond the hours in a day.

I not sure who is heading up all this if it is me or who? Sometimes that is not important to know at first but I hope to get together soon. In the meantime I will leave it as being under the auspices of this alter we are aiming for coconsciousness with and be thankful enough for this.

The past really seems to be the key to the present here. There were some very creepy adults in my parents network of friendships and the fact that they entwined around my parents really disturbs me. They came under the guise of friends.

[anderson]

Hunny,
we be sending you stuffies and warm blankets. to help you all feel better. There has been a couple of times that we had to get meds to help relieve the symtoms that came with alters because we were on over load we need to take care of the physcal symtoms to find the energy to deal with the emotional trauma. Just know that we be thinking of all within you! May peace come to those within!

[Hunny]

Anderson,

We use this picture of the woman with dark hair because we think she is closest to the age we think our alter is who we have contacting us now. She is thinking, thankfully, and yes we did get an antibiotic and it is starting to make sense what was happening, however we still feel the body is extremely sleepy and the other parts are thinking we need a dentist appointment but after the time frame of antibiotics is over. One of us went to one clinic and the other's who weren't sure if we believed her went to another clinic. Fortunately, they both agreed on the diagnosis.

Thanks tremendously for the the blankies and the stuffies. They were recently washed and did look a little forlorn but we could not risk them carrying the germs of what we had.

Take very good care.

[beyond_blue]

Very sorry to hear you're enduring a case of sinusitis! I had chronic sinusitis as a teen because of allergies. If your doctor didn't explain, sinusitis is a brutal infection in the sinus cavities. It will, as you explained, make your head, face, eyes, and teeth! hurt. The pain associated with sinusitis can most definitely cause a disruption in thinking. It hurts!

You might want to ask your doctor about using saline nasal spray or the neti pot. I use these only occasionally - when my sinuses are getting stuffy. I like using the neti pot after I do yard work to clean out the passages in the nose. It takes a bit to get used to the feel of salt water flowing in and out of your nose, but it's great for clearing the ick out of the nose!!

Stress definitely lowers our immune system and wears us down! I'm sorry the bacteria were able to take hold of you.

Icky germy bacteria bugs!!! My little is sorry your stuffies hadda take a bath! (Hers are going to get a bath soon though...stuffies need them every once in a while! We can't tell her or she'll hide them!)

I hope get well soon! ~hands you a couple boxes of tissues~ Dese tissues not for cwy'n doh dems for blow'n yer nose! (Little's two cents)

[Fuzzybear]

Sending support and care
(from my cave)

[justdontknow]

((((Hunny))))

We wish you a speedy recovery from your illness and hope your dental appointment goes well after you are better. It is wonderful that your alter is taking good care of all of you. We hope and pray that you are able to be co-conscious with her soon. Take care of all of you. The littles are sending lots of stuffed "aminals" and warm fuzzies and all of us are sending positive thoughts and safe hugs.

Hotel Cris

[Hunny]

Beyond_blue, Fuzzybear, Justdontknow:

The days are looking brighter and the heart is becoming stronger.

Beyond_blue...yes, stress, yes bacteria, thanks for the netipot info, and blowin the nose tissues...much appreciated. The stuffies like to be clean and bacteria free too.

Fuzzybear ...happy to see you again...thanks for the support and care from "The Cave"

Hotel Cris, realizing someone is taking care of us although we did hear the word 'terminal' when waking from our nap today...sent a bit of a shock wave through us. Thanking you for many hugs and stuffies and positive thoughts.

I think this alter was a terminal case having experienced tremendous decision making only to have the current realization that those decisions were based on faulty information and she feels so responsible for the outcome that thoughts of not finishing the race prevailed. She left for the coast like Vincent, we think but she holds the powerful artistic gifts. My mantra: "I must persevere, I must persevere, I must...

So, as you can see your support is: "Life Giving".

[anderson]

(((Hunny and all within)))
We just saying hi and hope you get feeling better soon.
we be out in the woods and had a squiril try to get into our tent last night we laughed when it ran away. but we also heard an owl and other birds it be so peaceful here. we hope that humming birds come to you soon.

[Hunny]

Funny about humming birds, I went somewhere today where their logo is a hummingbird. It was very special for many reasons but no squirrels.

Are there trees there in the woods?

[anderson]

Well fall is not here but we be in a lot of pine trees and birds and other animals.