I seem to be ticking people off with posting the truths about DID. And have been accused of not knowing anything about DID and so on.

Everything that I post about DID can be varified simply by printing off a copy of my posts and submitting them to and state board licensed and or state board certified therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists in the United states. Also a majority of my information comes froms such professionals as Dr. Colin Ross who has three treatment facilities that work on DID. These facilities are located in Texas and California. All three of there facilities are listed as one of the top 10 facilities in the United States for teatment of this disorder. He also travels teaching professionals how to work with clients that are DID. Also I am a member of NAMI who has been posting the truths about this disorder there for some time. NAMI stands for National Alliance for Mental Illness. They pride themselves on the fact that they suppy nothing but the truths of this disorder therefore any posts giving others misinformation about this disorder is deleted by the NAMI staff some of which include state board certified and or state board licensed therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists.

That said I will say the same thing I was approved to post on the NAMI site: I don't expect EVERYONE to agree with me. In fact there are going to be many that do not agree with my posts. The "want to be's" (fakers) are not going to agree because once readers read my posts they will be able to distinguish the "want to be's" from the true DID's. Those just being diagnosed for DID and those in denial of their diagnosis will obviously not agree since they are in denial. Those starting to accept their diagnosis most likely will not agree because my posts go against the misrepresentation of DID portrayed in the media. So knowing all this why am I posting the truths of this disorder? Because somewhere out there are people like me who are past the denial stage, past the acceptance stage, past wanting to accept the short term bandaids associated with this disorder (multiple hospitalizations, being every shrinks medication guinea pig) and want to go back to the basics - learn what this disorder is according to professionals that deal with this everyday not on the misconceptualized views of society based on media portrayal and learn how to take care of it not for short term but forever.

Any one can do the in depth research that my therapist and I did at public libraries, and contacting professional across the united states and so on. I also have a college degree most if not all the classes were in various psychologies and sociologies that deal with mental disorders, since one of my goals was becoming a certified and licensed therapist. I will be posting my research list of books, websites and so on.

I have in the past been very public - going into various situations to discuss survivors rights such as prisons, schools classes containing children aged 13-adult, testified in a state governors task force and have also appeared in newpaper article as a member of a group that did advocacy work.

I am sorry that my posting the truths of this disorder bothers people but I personally refuse to add to the misconceptions of this disorder by not disclosing what I know and have varified by professionals across the united states who have been helping me and my therapist develop a DID specific therapy program that basically put 10 years of therapy work into a space of 3 years and is on going today.

[shadowdancer]

no one is asking you to 'add to misconceptions' or post untruths. we are asking you to be considerate of the feelings of others, particularly those alters that you have so callously dismissed as "parts" or "pieces" or "fragments." these are SUPPORT forums...not LET'S POST THE TRUTH ABOUT DISORDERS forums. yes, what you've said can be found in public libraries...but so can lots of things. Dr. Ross is one of MANY people who treat DID. yes, he's considered quite the expert. but so is Frank Putnam and Kluft and several others i could name. i don't think you should throw his name around here since i bet he wouldn't approve of you saying things like this that can upset and disrupt the ongoing treatment and health of the ones posting here. DID is different for each person that has it, just like any disorder. there are certain standard similarities but how it progresses and how it presents can be different. if you've done your hw like you say you have, then you know this. stop presenting your "truth" as the one, the only, truth. it isn't. and if you're going to post, do it with a little kindness and consideration for those of us who have enough to deal with without reading upsetting and disturbing posts.

-shadowdancer

I have only recently come to the idea of DID. I just have a couple of things that strike me.
One is that I know how scared I was when I first started to think in ways which seemed to me, "odd" (no offence meant!) What helped me was the people here who accepted me as I was, as I appeared to them, and didn't try to make any assumptions, or judgements, or tell me what I was "really" experiencing.
The second is that from what I can see we all have slightly different experiences of any kind of mental illnees, because we are all different. It seems to me that, by and large, this site celebrates and encompasses those differences, rather than trying to put everyone into boxes according to their diagnoses. The thing I have really noticed about this place is the kindness and humanity of people rather than the concern about being right. And, again in my experience, kindness and humanity are often much more helpful than the textbook answers.
Just my thoughts.
Caroline

[kimmydawn]

again, myself, welcome to the forums. i've read your introduction in "social". it would seem that you had a difficult time at another site by posting your "truths". therefore, it could show to you a pattern that your truths are truths for you. they don't apply to many.

i think the problem many have is your usage of the word "truths" as if your facts and research is the "way it is and that's all there is to it. why can't you see this?" when, in fact, MANY do not see it as you do.

i appreciate your research. i appreciate your healing and insight. i do not appreciate being told that my life's existence is not "truth".

what it boils down to is that DID sufferers are survivors...no matter how they survived, no matter whether they have pieces or a little blue eyed boy named thomas. what matters is that we survived and are looking to heal in our individual ways. DID is quite varied. i would, in fact, question that someone with just memory pieces would actually be DID (then again, that's my view that i don't push). we all have different views and truths. if you want respect here, you must give it. thus far, i've seen little respect and much demand.

be safe in your continued research and healing,

kd

[shadowdancer]

thank you Caroline, that was beautifully put and truly spoken.

-shadow

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((caroline))))))))))))))) beautifully said and meaningful.

(((((((shadowdancer)))))))

kd

Welcome to the forums. Congrats on your hard work at healing. Thank you for sharing your research knowledge and insights.

I do have a question, however.

Do you frequent the playgrounds of four-year-old children and spread "your truth" that there is no Santa Claus?

You must be busy all day, explaining the truth about the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy to all the little children. Good for you.

Or haven't you researched those theories enough yet to write an official paper and be called an expert…

May you find peace on your journey,

Petunia

my use of the words alters, parts, fragments, and pieces of memories is the psychologically correct terms. just like hallucination are called delusions for schitophrenia. Some people chose to call their hallucinations visions, dreams and so on but the psychologically correct term is hallucinations.

I am sorry my calling them parts, fragments and so this upsets you but I chose to use the psychologically correct terms.

Telling people I get my information from his teaching, his website and from info gathered from contacting his three treatment facilities and what that information is is in no way hurting him or his facilities, in fact when I disclosed to his agencies I from time to time post my research I was told "yea free advertizing." as long as I "am not putting him and his teaching down personally they are well for this". I aways tell professionals that I post about that I am doing , Just like Laura Davis knows I post from time to time about her teachings, books, website and so on. this is no different. yes I Have read alot of Frank Putnams work and Klufts too like them both.

Yes DID is different for everyone in the aspect that not everyone has the same memories. we are not clones of each others abuse situation so those memory pieces for everyone is going to have different content. Because of the different content when a person escapes to their mental safe place and the brain reruns the triggered memory the body reactions are going to be different. because the person can only act the way that is included in that activated memory piece. For example an angry memory piece cannor be made under any circumstances to laugh or be happy in any way. a memory piece that is the stored memory of gagging during oral sex will gag on everything they are given to eat regardless of what has been given. so depending on what everyones different memorys are depends on how different they are from each other. so yes it is different that way. How it progresses is going to be different because for example some people work on it 24/7 and a little bit and still others not at all so for some regaining 100% awareness takes only a few years and still others take decades.

[kimmydawn]

i appreciate your post in an attempt at clarifying. i didn't have an issue with your terms. i choose to call them insiders. t calls them parts. that's not an issue for me personally. still yet, i thank you for the clarification.

i also appreciate that the tone of your message is softer. as i said before, i have no doubt that you're learned. that shows. however, your prior message was laden with much personal belief. you've chosen to take documentation and coordinate it into something that "fits the best for you". that's great! a person looking for a church to best tend their beliefs would be a good comparison. the person looks at all of the churches in the area, narrows the list down to ones that better fit their personal beliefs, and then studies them further until they've found the one(s) that they want to incorporate into life. you've done something similar. your beliefs simply aren't my beliefs. it doesn't mean that either is wrong...just different. i wouldn't force mine onto you, and hope that you wouldn't do the same with me. you haven't in this post and i thank you for that. i'm glad you're to that point in your life. we all here are in the process of doing that same thing. some are farther along than others.

right now, things are happening with me in leaps and bounds...as is necessary in healing. i don't "believe" in the same way that you believe, but am achieving at a rapid pace now. with every different system will be a different way of healing.

so...now we can discuss this is a good thing.

you said:

For example an angry memory piece cannor be made under any circumstances to laugh or be happy in any way. a memory piece that is the stored memory of gagging during oral sex will gag on everything they are given to eat regardless of what has been given.

i disagree. insiders, as they begin to have outside contact with outside ppl (especially therapists) can/will learn, adapt and change. their capabilities widen and change as they begin to understand things that they're now exposed to. for instance, several insiders have come to trust t (an unheard of concept), talk (when they hadn't before), and learn that not all ppl are bad. they can change behaviors, etc. bahaviors (acting outs) have drastically changed here with awarenesses of today.

have a great evening.

kd

Thank you Kimmy for what you said. I was getting scared again. I think I am changing. I'm not near as mad as I was. I don't think about hurting myself all the time. Just a little bit sometimes. But if myself says pieces don't change will we ever get better???
Vicki

[kimmydawn]

vicki, you are changing...just since i've known you! you're doing so well! that's what it's all about. i'm not sure that myself was saying that they don't ever change. i just wanted to point that out for reasons such as this. good job!

be safe,

kd

no I dont frequent playground disclosing santa clause and the tooth fairy. but in respect to my son when he was 6 years old and lost the third tooth he threw a temper tantrum because the tooth fairy only gave him a quarter. to I sat him down and told him at some time a long time ago there may have been a child who got upset because their tooth fell out so the parent made up a game special for for parents and kids of giving the kids money for their tooth. He said so you gave me the money. I said yup sure did. Then I asked him what he thought a tooth was. He didnt know so I told him a tooth is considered one of the bones in a persons body. he said you gave me money for a BONE like in chichen bones only it was my bones. I said sure did. and every time we ate a meat with on a bone he hamed it up on how much each one was worth. As for santa clause I raised him with two concepts one the big fat man in red and also that the name santa means the spirit of christmas, the spirit of giving so when it was time to tell him when he was 7 that what his friends are saying is partly true. along time ago there was a man in another counry that decided to give just because, (not to get anything in return) that man died a long time ago but the world still celebrated what he started because it is good to give just because. so every year after that he and I bought something to go into the community christmas barrells so that he ccould be a santa clause for some child that didn't have anything.

as for the easter bunny he was in foster care when it was time to tell him there was no easter bunny. The caseworker talked with the foster parents on how I handle such things so that my son was put into a church group so he could start understanding about it. and how that began from a celebration of life to what it is today. They did a great job in this issue.

"so when it was time to tell him when he was 7 that what his friends are saying is partly true."

Ahh. I see. When it was time. You didn't tell him until he was ready to hear the truths of such things.

You choose when and what to tell your children.

I'll choose when and what to tell mine.

And so it seems, the two may differ yet find some common ground.

Peace.

Petunia

myself--each of my alters is talked to and treated like a person who has a story to tell and has never been listened to. no judging, no planting memories, just supportive listening and then working on the feelings that the alter carries. i'm hoping that vicki will work out the anger and learn to cry freely. i hope that deedee will stop hiding when she feels scared and threatend and feel safe enough to talk about what she is scared about. and so on for all my insiders. such progress has been made with vicki who not too long ago wanted to harm herself and die somehow. she has been supported here and in T in such a way that she is coming out and being more positive and supportive of others. i'm not saying she is 100% not even 25%--she has a long way to go, but the support and the gentle encouraging of the others here has really helped.
i guess i don't really understand the academic approach to this. it really seems it separates out the real deep down feeling and relating to others and makes it so minute compared to research and the "truth".
by the way, santa, easter bunny and tooth fairy are REAL. even if it is in a child's mind.
w_i

myself.....i might have missed this somewhere because i'm here to give and receive support....not bone up on the "facts".....but why is your son in foster care?

[nothemama8]

If myself is right because of book learning then does that mean *we* don't exsist? cuz if *we* are not real *we* are lying to ourselves
Amy has been crying becuz she doesn't exsist anymore
Laura

[shadowdancer]

amy, laura, you both are -very- real. and you do exist. it's ok, don't cry. ((((((((((((amy and laura)))))))))))))
you two are very real, and very valued here so please don't be upset. we all know you are real.

if you ever doubt it, just PM me. i'll remind you.

-shadow

[nothemama8]

thank you shadowdancer and kimmydawn, you have helped us calm down ,
I hope myself can understand that it's okay to be DID and not try to hide in books *we* are not case studies, Reah is helping me write this
Laura

[kimmydawn]

laura, let's look at it this way. if we weren't real, could we think, feel, hold memories, help, etc. i could go on and on. we're real in all the ways that matter...period.

love you,

kd