Our bounderies.....

anderson · Jul 19, 2010, 02:05 PM

BOUNDER LOVER, OR HATER
This was a term giving to us this last week at T’s. We were trying to get her to understand that we have no problem telling others to leave us alone but in the last 3 years each time we did it one way or the other we had endure more abuse until it came to the point that we were to afraid to say anything because it would be used against us later.
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We still have some alters that do not have problems with keeping our bubble but we discovered something about us this past weekend. We had a safety issue in telling a person to leave the topic of our bio-family alone. In the end we just told her that sewer rats treat their children better then my bio-family. She changed the subject then but we were up all night with flash backs of how they had hurt us all those years ago.
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Then came our Sunday gathering. The woman that asked us to off our selves so nicely came up to us and started to doing her double talking. The Dalmatians have decided to call her Lies A Lot. We had a small debate and we just told her that everything that you pray for us come to you as well. Lies A Lot had the grace to turn white. The man that used to be able to hurt us because he had an alter afraid of him came in but this time our Angel was there so we had her sit with us and do EFT treatments with us. We started to turn a very ugly monster into an ameba. Yippy, One more going down. During this time these two tried everything to get us going but we be safe with angel and the other lighthouses present.
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The big thing that we learned is that we are less afraid of the friends of the people that have had alters under their control. We are still scared of them cause they prove they hurt us and enjoy it. But as the light houses prove that they keep them away from us we get stronger.
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The cool part is those people that had friends that hurt us in the past would only have to imply that they send the Dark Souls after us if we do not to what they want. Now we just look at them or just plan ignore them. Because they can not hurt us no more so they be getting louder. We are starting to wonder if they are not having psychotic break down. They be hitting the tables saying we be weeds and that we need to go out with the trash. The fact that they are finely acting out so publicly is awesome for the others are finely seeing these people true colors.
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Even the PH.D docs family showed up but we stayed next to our light houses and we be able to laugh and play. It was so good for us. The Dalmatians even went up to another one of the men and told him they call him Grumpy Papa Bear. He is playing and talking with us. His wife even gave us a cross stitch to do when we get the one we doing done.
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But the best thing is that more people are coming up to us. Knowing that we be different. In truth we have been switching so much there is no way to hide. Since we stopped trying to be just one voice those around us are starting to accept that we do not forget when not switching under the threat of more abuse. But alters do want to do their thing in their own voice and skills. This place is turning into the church that we attended with our foster family. Even then we switched a lot but as we healed we did not forget so much. We told the pastor for a body that came to church just to sit in a state of fear just to hear a sermon by a man that would not hurt us or allow us to be hurt by the dark souls within the group. We may feel at time like a rabbit to afraid to come out of it hole. But the fact that we have people that are willing to talk with us and keep us safe we have come a long way in a year.

Hunny · Jul 21, 2010, 03:35 PM

(((( Anderson ))))

It is such a pleasure to read how the overcoming is going and the internal healing coming along.

Keep up the 'good work'.

Hunny

Crew · Jul 21, 2010, 03:43 PM

As always Anderson... keeping it Real! ((((Anderson)))))))

at keeping it real!

Hang in there!!!! Crew

Gr3tta · Jul 22, 2010, 02:43 AM

Thank you for share this anderson we can't talk too well right now but we want to say we are inspired to read how hard you work and how it can pay off when you are less scared and more people are willing to know you.

Rhiannonsmoon · Jul 22, 2010, 05:44 AM

(((((((((((((((((Anderson))))))))))))))))

Thankyou for sharing this Anderson you are helping me to understand. I regret that you have been hurt, but the strength of growth you have shown is wonderful,

Rhiannon

anderson · Jul 22, 2010, 12:31 PM

(((((Rhiannonsmoon + Gr3tta + Crew + Hunny)))))
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Super size Cyber Hugs to all those with in you!
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If this place had not given us the avenue to be with those like us, we would not have had the chance to find our selves again. The fact that this is the one place that can understand that which we are going through just find peace within is so awasome. We are getting more people in the real world that are starting to get to know us instead of the lies that others told to keep us outcast from the good people.
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The T is also a big help we are still not allowing any of us to go to her solo we did go once to see if she would scare us but it was a good visit. Our best one was with our really big safe person and we were able to say what was keeping us in turmiol. The Good part is that the roof did not cave in and we were not shot off the flag pole.
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So we are learning what we need to help our inner selfs to heal this time. These of you here gave us the biggest insight so please do not ever think that we do not value all those here as we too are untangling our inner selves.

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