[Lillyleaf]

Hey,
I was wondering is it ok to dissoceat if you are in a tuff spot??

Today we where at work and we where having a hard day so we really wanteed to dissoceat but we held off untill the very end where we couldnt stand it anymore... Should we have just dissoceated when we first started feeling awful??
Firefly

[Eriksplus]

Yes, this is actully perfectly natural in DID from what I gather.

(Webber Erik)

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Lillyleaf

Hey,
I was wondering is it ok to dissoceat if you are in a tuff spot??

Today we where at work and we where having a hard day so we really wanteed to dissoceat but we held off untill the very end where we couldnt stand it anymore... Should we have just dissoceated when we first started feeling awful??
Firefly

I would go according to what ever your mental health people and treatment program is. our telling you to go ahead and dissociate when you get in these situations could do damage to you.

for example if your treatment plans are that you are being taught and advised by those that treat you and your mental problems to use self nurturing, grounding and other non dissociative ways to lessen your anxiety and deal directly with what ever the problem is, our telling you - its ok, go ahead let yourself dissociate when this happens, that goes against your treatment plans, That would be counterproductive to your treatment plans and hold you back from making progress and moving forwards. you could end up with even more problems than you have now.

Suggestion contact your treatment people and let them know what happened. they know your treatment plans. they will be able to tell you whether you should continue to work towards fighting to remain grounded and on track when things like this happens at work.

I know how hard it is to hold myself grounded when every ounce of me just wants to dissociate. My therapist also knows how hard it is for me sometimes to remain grounded vs dissociating.. Every time I hit a milestone like this where I have been able to stay grounded and deal with the problem instead of dissociating, my therapist and I celebrate it.

my opinion you did great. being able to remain grounded is hard to do. if this was me and my therapist we would be on the phone right now talking about what happened and planing a celebration session to acknowledge the hard work I did.

[Lillyleaf]

We dont have any treatment people..
we arnt even Diegnosed but our host doesnt even know we are here I dont think
We have a fake host...
well two
but idk I dont care
I think that we should have dissoceated but I dont know...
Scarlet

[Hunny]

(((Amanda))) (((Lillyleaf)))

Well done.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Lillyleaf

We dont have any treatment people..
we arnt even Diegnosed but our host doesnt even know we are here I dont think
We have a fake host...
well two
but idk I dont care
I think that we should have dissoceated but I dont know...
Scarlet

ok some rule of thumb ideas/ suggestions we use here for people not yet in treatment. they are not etched in stone but can help some people. pick choose or try what best suits you and your system.

If you are a host and have the ability to remain grounded then do for as long as you possibly can. Dissociating is not wrong or taboo but the more you do it the more it complicates your life and problems and can cause more problems that may be harmful in the long run.

alternatives to dissociating - breathing, if possible excuse yourself for a few moments so you can calm yourself down, get a drink of water, wash your face.. do anything else you feel is calming to you.

if you are an alter and you are the one in control at the moment then the host has already dissociated (other words for this is the host has "left" has "gone to sleep" "is not here right now").

a hosts system of alters is what ever the host needs it to be in order to survive, so there is an alter for every situation that may cause the host to dissociate.

every alter has a job to do. some cry, some work, some socialize some get angry, some have fun, the list is endless and depends on what each host needed in order to survive.

take a few moments to breath
close your eyes and listen to what is going on inside.
ask if there is someone inside that can help you with the problem.
ask if someone else inside can take over while you take a break.

usually what happens is the alter that is able to handle the triggering problem will tell the alter in charge at the moment how to deal with the problem or the alter capable of dealing with the problem will automatically come forwards and take care of the problem.

If another alter has not taken over and has not told you how to handle the situation then most likely you are the alter that has the knowledge and capability to handle the problem. this can also be why some alter can retain control despite the urges to dissociate.

then we give them a list of free to low income costing services in the area. you can get these by calling mental health places and asking them if they have free or low costing services for therapy. churches are great places for this, so are crisis centers, county mental health and planned parent hood.

[Nupoet64]

Lilly, I have no answer. I am trying to learn NOT to dissociate. I have done it so often for so many years, I do it automatically and have to stop myself. Good luck and I hope the stress level is reduced for you very soon. Safe hugs...