[invisigirl]

Here's where I stand. Part of what has lead me to this area in the forum and why it's easy for me to relate to so many here...

I have read lots about DID. I have taken the DES. You know how there's the list of 5 main symptoms of DID? I have all but one. I don't have alters. On the DES? Most people who score over 30 have a high chance of being dx'd with DID.. I score a pretty consistent 60.

I know you all can't dx me, not posting this for that purpose.. I suppose just for the purpose of sharing my experience, so you can know a little about what lead me here..

I have had one incident in which I had kind of a co-conscious alter come forward.. but I don't know what that was really.. you know? like was it real? was I making it up? I will say that when it happened, it was very confusing.. I couldn't understand what was going on and why I couldn't 'control' it. But it only happened once.

I have talked about all this with my husband. And that 'alter' came forward and spoke to him. So he knows what's 'going on' with me.. but no one else does.

Anyway... this stuff is all rather disturbing and confusing to me.. but I hope I can understand it soon.. I just started therapy (have had 2 appointments), not sure when/if I will talk about all this with her. I just don't want to sound dumb or crazy or anything, you know?

[Miracle1986]

(((invisigirl)))

this kinda stuff can definitely be very confusing, because in my experience, and reading about other people's experiences,
there really is no "normal" when dealing with this type this. Everyone's circumstances and experiences are different.

I am glad you were able to talk to your husband about it and I hope he is supportive. Having a good support system is crucial for people like us.
I would definitely recommend you talk to your therapist about your experiences too though. Maybe she can help you gain a better understanding about what is actually going on in our life.

Meanwhile, keep posting. We are all here to support you.

[invisigirl]

Thanks, Miracle.

Yes, my husband is very supportive.. he finds it all 'interesting'.
He is bipolar, so he can actually relate to a lot of what I experience. So that is a plus. I don't sound like such a 'freak' to him.

[Miracle1986]

That's awesome!

[invisigirl]

Definitely. I feel very lucky to have someone sympathetic to talk to on a daily basis.. not that do. But he's there. I just have a hard time talking in general and, usually, end up communicating with him more through email or txt.. but still. He's there. And doesn't think I'm a weirdo.

[Miracle1986]

Originally Posted by invisigirl

I just have a hard time talking in general and, usually, end up communicating with him more through email or txt..

I'm the exact same way.
It drives my hubby up the wall... LOL
I don't why I'm like that... it's almost like it's hard the get the words from my head to my mouth, but they flow easily (err... easier)
from my mind to my hand.
It makes me feel like a weirdo...
I've tried to explain it to him, but it's so hard to explain and get someone to understand something that YOU don't understand.

[invisigirl]

Exactly.
It frustrates my husband too.. but he does understand that it's just easier for me to not say things out loud. I think, being a writer, saying it out loud just makes it too real.

He's glad that I will communicate with him, even if it's not always verbally.

[Nupoet64]

(((((Invisgirl)))))...I would suggest talking to T about it. It only impeads your healing when you with hold information that can change the course of your therapy....just saying..